


Dream a little dream

by OosieX



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Thor Dark World, Thor Ragnarok - Fandom
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Awkward Flirting, Blood, F/M, Flirting, Psychological Torture, Sex, Torture, Violence, Warnings in chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-18 14:15:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 48
Words: 64,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13101900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OosieX/pseuds/OosieX
Summary: Pandora. My name is Pandora. That is the one I got and the one I'll have to live with. At least untill I get my memory back. Untill then, I'm stuck with father. Stuck with my siblings. Stuck with him. Loki. The strangest man I've ever met. Still. He will be my way out of here. I will get out of here. He will make sure of that. He promised me that. And when we do, he will show me the universe. We will see everything. Just him and me.





	1. The grand prize

_‘Welcome.’_  
_‘Where am I?’_  
_‘Does it matter?’_  
_‘No, I guess not.’_  
_‘What is your name?’_  
_‘My name?’ I look up at the large man in front of me. ‘My name. I don’t know my name.’_ _He sits in front of me, in a large, throne like chair. His hoar purplish skin wrinkles as he frowns at me. He leans forward, looking at me intensely. In front of him, two bloody knives, made out of black steel. My eyes wonder as I push myself into a sitting position. The sand sticks to my hands like glue and as I try to rub it off, I find blood on them. It’s everywhere. Under my nails and on my clothes. ‘What happened?’ I ask. I feel nauseous from just looking at it._  
_'My man found you. They thought you were dead.’ I look at the man, the giant man that seems to breathe air as if he owns it. ‘Then they saw you move.’ He smiles. ‘I have to say, I thought they were lying.’_  
_‘Why?’ I ask softly._  
_'A knife to the heart and one in the head, I don’t think you were supposed to be alive. Yet, here you are.’ He sits back._  
_I look at my hands. They’re shaking._  
_‘Don’t worry my child,’ he says. I look up. ‘I will take care of you.’ He makes a hand gesture and a lady comes walking towards us. ‘Take care of her.’ The lady nods and walks my way. Although her flowy dress reaches the ground, it’s clean and dirt-free. She looks gracious in it._  
_She helps me up my feet, but doesn’t look me in the eye.  
_ _‘Pandora,’ the man says. ‘I think I’ll call you Pandora.’_


	2. The color of our skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mild torture, introduction of multiple characters.

The knives reflect nothing. No light, no contours, nothing. They are an endless pit of darkness. That’s what I see when I look at them. Darkness. Even though I know they were supposed to be the end of me, I don’t feel anything when I look at them. No anger, for taking my memories, nor sorrow, for knowing someone wanted me dead. They are meaningless pieces of steel. Meaningless, in many ways. Yet the only thing connecting me towards my past.  
I put it back in its sheath, which loosely hangs around the belt on my waist. I always carry them around. Father wants me to be alert and quick, so he has given my sisters the order to attack me when I least expect it. The first time, Gamora got the best of me in the laundry room. She pushed my head under water, leaving me breathless. I forced my way out of it, but it wasn’t enough. I hadn’t been prepared enough. Although I knew she was there, I hadn’t expect her to actually act out the order. Gamora is a little older than me. She’s the kindest of all my siblings. And she tried to drown me. None of my siblings look alike. Gamora is a Zen-Whoberis and apparently the last of her kind. With her striking green skin, her dark hair and her yellow eyes, she is quite the appearance. Still, she is not the most noticeable in the company of our brothers and sisters.  
I make my way through the corridors and enter the great hall through one of the side doors. Father’s palace feels cold. It’s made out of carved, grey stone. There are columns here and there, but most of them are to be found in the great hall.  
I look at my father, sitting on his throne. Beside him, Nebula. Although he has many children –all adopted- Nebula seems most eager to get his approval. Maybe because she never got it. She looks at me as I walk in, but not for more than a second. I follow her example and look at the main object of tonight. A man. Young, maybe in his twenties. Long, black hair. Pale, slender. He’s on his knees, hands on his stomach. I see blood dripping down his chin. Corvus and Ebony, two of my brothers, stand beside him. Great, another torture.  
‘Father,’ I say, as I reach him. He seems amused by the stranger and doesn’t pay any attention to me. I look at our new guest and observe him. He looks up. His eyes slowly move: from father, to Nebula, back to father and then to me. He looks at me and I look back. A smile appears on his face. It’s a strange smile, one between pain and mischief. I blink in surprise. I never saw anyone smile during torture. Corvus hits him in the face, something creaks and makes me cringe. The man, however, he laughs. Again, he takes me by surprise. Not only me, but also my brothers, my sister and father. Not all of them show it, but I can see nonetheless.  
‘Is that all?’ The man looks straight at father. He spits out some blood. His eyes linger on me, just before he looks up again. ‘Because if this is all you got, you’ve got a long way to go.’  
Father leans forward. ‘You might think you’re tough, but we just started.’ He smiles. A cruel, but promising smile. He looks over at me. ‘Bring me a drink my dear, we might be here for a while.’ I swallow, nod and then walk away.  
I feel his eyes pierce holes in the back of my head. Just before I reach the door, I look over my shoulder. We make eye contact and the stranger smiles again. I turn my head and quickly leave the room.

‘Hi Jolsa,’ I say, when entering the kitchen. Jolsa looks up. She’s a small, chubby lady with scaly, blue hair, which perfectly flows over into her skin. Father doesn’t see her as beautiful, nor strong or important. She’s just a servant to him.  
‘Pandora.’ She smiles widely and pinches my cheek with her seven-fingered hand. ‘How is my lovely little bowska?’  
‘I’m…’ I unwillingly think about the man they’re torturing in the great hall. ‘…okay.’  
‘Something bothering you?’  
‘No, I’m just fine,’ I say. I smile as good as possible. ‘Father asked me to get him something to drink.’  
‘Ah, I’ll get it for you.’ Jolsa always knows her way around the kitchen. She knows where everything is, how everything works. Mess with her system and you’re in trouble. Which is why I rarely take anything out of the kitchen myself.  
She comes back with a large beaker. Father is about two and a half times my size, in height and width, so his appetite is much bigger too. I carefully take the filled beaker. ‘Thanks Jolsa.’ She smiles bright and raises her hair in goodbye. I smile back at her. We get along great. She’s the one to trust around here. I turn around and leave.

When I get back to father, the smiling stranger is gone. One of the servants is cleaning up the blood. Nebula, Corvus and Ebony are gone too. I hand over the drink to father. He takes a sip and licks his lips. ‘Pandora, make sure Nebula feeds the howlers tonight.’  
‘Will do father,’ I say. He smiles to himself. He seems pleased. That’s good. It’s better to have him in a good mood. I slip away, knowing he will be too busy with himself to notice.  
I won’t be seeing him until dinner, but I still need to take care of a lot of things.


	3. Dead man's promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blood, wound description, torture description, threats.

Two ribs of tango meat, a bulk of wumbo and a glass of beer. That’s all I am able to retrieve after a family dinner. There wasn’t much left and most of it got thrown away before I could get my hands on it. A few hours after dinner, I get back to the kitchen to get the tray of food I hid behind a stack of meat in the cooler. I move quick, silent and careful. There aren’t many people around at night, but I still need to watch out.  
I make my way down the stairs, to the dungeon. There are some cells, but most of them are empty. People don’t tend to stay long. The cells are small, about two by four. They have bars. Like everything in this place, it’s carved out of grey stone. But you can’t get out, because of the magic father has running through this place.  
‘I was wondering if you’d come.’ His voice is soft. There’s a strange tone to it I can’t quite place.  
I put the tray on one hand and use the other to open his cell door. Father trusts all of his children with the keys. His children and his children alone.  
It’s dark down here. Dark and cold. I can barely see him. But I see his silhouette. He’s leaning against the wall, slightly more to the right side of the room. He barely moves as I close off the door.  
‘You don’t want to keep clear of an escape route?’ He asks. I can hear the mockery in his voice. I ignore it and draw closer. ‘What have you got there? Other ways to torture me?’  
‘No,’ I say softly. He looks up for the first time. His eye is blue, his lip swollen and his nose is bleeding. I carefully kneel down and place the tray between us. ‘I figured he wouldn’t give you anything to eat tonight,’ I whisper.  
‘So you came to offer it to me?’ he sneers.  
‘I couldn’t bring along a knife.’ I softly slide the tray towards him. ‘But I got you something to drink.’ I stare at him. My eyes are slowly adjusting to the dark and I start to see more of him. The way his long hair sticks to his face, the way he has his hand on his stomach, the chain around his ankle, the dark spots the blood left on his pants. There is still blood dripping down his face. He probably has a head wound somewhere. I look away towards the tray and stand up.  
‘You taking off already sweetheart?’ he jokes. I ignore him and leave his cell.

 It doesn’t take me long to get what I need. A bucket of warm water, a clean cloth and soft towel. He seems surprised to see me back so soon. I put the bucket down beside him and kneel. He watches me as I throw the towel over my shoulder and put the cloth in the water.  
‘What are you doing?’ he asks.  
I get out the cloth, wring it out and reach out to his face. He backs away, which leads to him moaning in pain. ‘Don’t be stupid,’ I tell him. ‘You need to keep those wounds clean, otherwise they’ll get infected.’ I grab his arm and softly pull him back.  
‘Don’t pretend you care.’  
‘Shut up,’ I whisper. I start washing away the blood and dirt. He lets me. He stares at me the whole time, but he lets me. I wipe away the blood on his face. Then I carefully start inspecting his head. As soon as I find the wound I wash away the blood.  
I put the cloth in the bucket and start lifting up his shirt.  
‘Whoa,’ he says, with a grin on his face. ‘You don’t waste a second, do you?’ He looks at me. He might have a naughty smile on his face, but it doesn’t seem to get through to his eyes. They seem sad to me.  
He growls in pain as I take off his shirt. He’s got a lot of bruises and a few stab wounds. They didn’t go easy on him. I take the cloth and start washing him. Now and then he cringes, but he barely makes a sound.

‘So, why are you here? I’m just guessing, but I think it isn’t because you wanted to see me topless?’ He looks at me, slightly moving his head, trying to make a connection. I just stay quiet. ‘Is it? Do you visit all your prisoners to see them topless?’  
I throw the cloth in the bucket and take the towel off my shoulder.  
‘Not that much of a talker eh?’ he says. He watches how I softly dry his body. The stab wounds seem quite superficial. That’s probably because they know those hurt the most. The deep once hurt too, but they give internal bleeding, which might end in death. Instead they keep it superficial, to only hit the nerves. The fact that they use this technique says a lot about his situation. They need something from him, so he needs to live until he has fulfilled his duty. ‘Yeah, me neither,’ he continues.  
I put the towel back over my shoulder and turn around to grab the bucket and tray. He suddenly grabs me and pulls me against his chest. He presses one hand against my belly, and has one near my throat. A sharp object pinches my neck; that by itself would’ve done the trick. I take a deep breath.  
‘Now, listen very carefully,’ he whispers in my ear. I can hear the smile in his words. ‘You’re gonna get me out of here.’  
‘You think that if I could get out of here, I wouldn’t have already left,’ I say under my breath.  
He pulls me up a bit. The movement makes him moan in pain, but he doesn’t slip. His warm breath pushes against the skin of my cheek as he moves his face next to mine.  
‘Now, why should I believe that?’  
‘I don’t see why you should,’ I answer honest. He laughs softly.  
‘They brought you here to mess with my head, didn’t they?’  
‘You honestly think they would do that and allow me to bring you food on a ceramic plate?’ I move my head slightly, to look at him. His eyes are incredibly close. I can see the gold spots in his green eyes. He seems to be in doubt. ‘I might not look like a prisoner,’ I whisper, ‘but that doesn’t mean I’m not.’ He looks down. For a second I’m thinking he’s looking at my breasts, but then he reaches down with his hand and takes one of the knifes out of my belt.  
‘A prisoner that walks around with knifes? With keys?’ He looks back at me.  
‘A prisoner without a ship, or any other way out.’ He places the cold metal of my knife against my cheek and pushes it until I turn my head.  
‘What’s your name?’ he asks.  
‘Pandora.’  
‘Why are you here Pandora?’  
‘Because I thought you might need someone to care of you tonight. The first night’s always the hardest.’ He barely blinks as I talk to him.  
‘So you do this for all your prisoners?’ he asks.  
‘Used to, yes,’ I say. ‘But we don’t have new guests that often anymore.’  
He raises his eyebrow. ‘ _Guests?_ ’ he repeats in disbelieve.  
‘We rarely use the word prisoner,’ I whisper.  
‘How long have you been here for?’ He asks.  
‘About three years.’  
‘And you haven’t found a way out?’ He slightly lifts my head by pulling my hair. It makes the distance between our faces smaller. I feel my heart race. ‘In three years, you haven’t found a single way to get out? Seems unlikely.’  
‘He thinks I’m not ready to fight,’ I whisper, just like him, although I don’t quite know why. ‘Father thinks I’m too weak and only good for chores. He sees potential, otherwise he wouldn’t keep me around, but he doesn’t think I’m suited to get out on my own.’  
‘Father?’ He whispers. Although our lips don’t touch, I can feel the movement of his lips almost scraping mine. ‘He’s your father. You think that improves your case?’ He looks down as he talks.  
‘He isn’t my real father. I’m adopted.’  
He smiles. ‘So am I. make your point.’  
‘I met him three years ago, after losing my memory. He was all I had. He took care of me- He used to. I eventually saw what he was doing. How he was manipulating me. I need to get out.’ I feel my chest tighten as I finally tell someone these words. It’s a stranger. A dangerous person, yet somehow I can’t help but tell him.  
His eyes go over my face as his grip loosens. I wait a moment before distancing myself. ‘Give me a few days and I’ll find us a way out of here,’ he says. He looks at the knife and lets his fingers slip over the dark steel.  
‘You promise to take me with?’ I whisper. I don’t know why, but somehow I believe he’s my chance to get out. I can feel it in my bones.  
He turns the knife in his hand, holding it out for me to take and nods firmly. ‘I promise.’


	4. The name of a rebel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graphic description of torture, description of wounds, information background characters, "introduction" character.

Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three. I turn the knife around in my hands. No reflection, nothing. I numbed out his screams hours ago. They make my head burn.  
‘Pandora,’ I look up as Gamora draws closer. She gives me a covered smile and takes her place beside me and father. ‘Who is our guest?’  
‘I don’t know. Just some guy.’ I look up at him for the first time. They pour chemicals into his wounds, they cut open the skin beneath his nails, they break his nose, they twist his hands. Everything to break him down. I know this process all too well. Father starts by breaking you physical, he’ll literally break every bone in your body if he thinks it’ll work. If not, he’ll turn to the mental part. He’ll try to break you, piece by piece until there’s barely anything to recognize. If that doesn’t work, he’ll bring in the chemicals. I glance over to Gamora. Father tends to do the same to his children, to make sure he’s got their full loyalty. I heard Gamora made it to the chemical process before she broke. Nebula never made it past the physical one. Or maybe it was the mental one. Jolsa told me Gamora and Nebula were forced to fight each other as children. The loser would be pulled apart slowly. The missing parts would be replaced by mechanics, to make sure she’d get stronger. Still, Nebula kept losing and her body was tortured every time.  
I have been here for almost three years and father has yet to put me through such process. I don’t know why he hasn’t tried to break me yet. Maybe he believes I’m already broken.  
I look at the knife and start turning it around again.  
Gamora suddenly grabs my arm, ready to pull me in and grab the knife. I cut her wrist and kick her knee. She growls as she gets down. In a swift move she grabs my knee and twists it. I want to scream, but I keep it boiled in as I go down on one knee too. She pulls the other knife out of its sheath and tries to stab me in the neck. I duck and push her to the ground. I take her wrists and pin her down. She pushes her knees against my belly and pushes me off her. I look at her as she starts getting up. ‘You’re getting the hang of it,’ she says. She watches me get on my feet and hands me over the knife. ‘Next time won’t be this easy.’  
I take the knife and walk away. I feel my knee burn in pain with every step I take. I guess father did found his way to break me.

I put bandage around my knee, giving it some extra support. I have retreated to my room. It’s small and cold, but it has all the essentials: A bed and a closet. There’s a practice room just down the hall. Beside that a bathing room. Nebula is often practicing her fighting. If she isn’t by father’s side, you’ll find her there.  
I get up and put some weight on my knee. It burns painfully, but I’ve been through worse. At least I know my wounds will quickly heal. It shouldn’t take more than a day.  
I let down the dress I wear and leave my room. It’s not a good idea to show my family you’re weak or wounded. They’ll take advantage of that.  
I go back to the great hall. Nobody’s there. Father probably has a meeting. Gamora is back, so she must have something to tell him. She has been gone for over two weeks.  
Our guest is gone. They probably brought him back to his cell.  
We’ve got three kinds of “guests”. The first are the once that father wants to keep locked up, but doesn’t need. They tend to get water and food. Might even be cleaned up with a bucket of cold water now and then. The second ones are those who don’t stay long. The guests father doesn’t like nor want. They might need a cell for one or two nights. The last ones are the worst. They are the once father needs. He wants something from them and won’t stop until he gets it. They tend to be tortured, pretty much starved and might stay with us for years. Our new guest is one of those.  
I try to take care of them. After dinner, I go back to my room, read for a couple of hours, until I’m sure everyone is asleep. After that I snuck out, go downstairs and seek out the people that are in need of some help. If anyone would ever find out, I would be in big trouble. Which is why I don’t do it with all our guests and I don’t go down every night.  
I walk to the library. There’s rarely anyone there. Father has these books because he wants to be well educated. Most of them are about ancient relics that might be of use. I find it incredibly interesting, but I might be his only child that does.

After a few hours of reading, dinner and another few hours of reading, I head back downstairs. This time, besides taking along something to eat and drink I immediately take along the bucket of water, a clean cloth and a towel. It’s quite some juggling, but I manage to take it down in one piece.  
I put it down to open up his cell and again to close it off. He’s lying on the ground, motionless. He doesn’t even speak. I put everything down beside him. He’s looking at me. I sit down and move him, as careful as possible. He moans in pain. They really did a number on him this time. I take the glass of beer off the tray, support his head and pour some beer into his mouth. I make sure not to spill any. He’s already in enough pain without getting alcohol in his open wounds. When it’s nearly empty I take the wet cloth and start to clean him up again. He softly moans now and then.  
‘You’ll get through this,’ I whisper. ‘You are strong. You are smart. You are initiative. You will make it out. You will find a way to get me out of here. You’ll get us out of here.’ He doesn’t say anything, he just looks at me while I speak and softly strike away the blood from his face.

I take off his shirt. He tries not to squeak, but can’t keep it in. They broke his ribs. Not all of them, but the lot of them.  
‘Pandora,’ he whispers. His voice is hoarse from all the screaming. I look at him. ‘Why are you doing this?’  
‘Because nobody else will,’ I answer. ‘If it was for my brothers or sisters, they’d let you rot. The servants wouldn’t dare to go against father. Someone needs to take care of you.’  
He doesn’t respond. ‘My sister asked about you today and I realized I don’t even know your name.’ I look back up from his wounds, only to find him staring at me. It makes my cheeks burn. I’m not used to people staring like that. ‘Why are y-‘  
‘Loki,’ he interrupts.  
‘Sorry?’  
‘My name.’ His eyes scroll over my face. ‘It’s Loki.’  
I smile kindly. ‘It’s nice to meet you Loki.’  
‘We already met.’  
‘I know, but I didn’t know anything about you before. So I wouldn’t say we knew each other.’ He cringes as I let the cloth go over his wrist. They made sure not to break them, but they turned all black and blue. ‘I’m sorry,’ I say softly.

I’m more cautious when handling him after that. I keep a close eye on him, to make sure I’m not hurting him too much. I pour some water over his wounds, to get out the chemicals.  
A second I doubt, before taking of his pants. He doesn’t say anything, which is new, because yesterday he was all fun and games. I lay him down and start cleaning the wounds on his legs.  
I put the cloth back in the bucket and start drying his body. Starting at his legs, slowly working my way up, to his upper body. Lastly I softly pat his face dry.  
‘Why are you always staring at me?’ I whisper, as I catch him doing so.  
‘You’re the only one here, who else do I have to look at?’ A small smile plays around his lips.  
‘You already stared at me the first time you saw me,’ I say. ‘You looked at me and smiled.’  
‘Because I enjoyed looking at you.’  
‘Why?’  
He shrugs, for as far as you can call it shrugging. ‘I just did.’  
‘You’re strange.’  
‘You mean to say you’re normal?’  
‘No.’  
His smile widens. ‘Than, do you have the right to call me strange?’  
‘I guess not.’ I put his clothes back on and help him to sit. ‘You should eat. Get your strength up.’  
‘I thought you said I was strong.’  
‘Shut up and eat.’ One side of his mouth rises. It’s only half a smile, but it’s a smile that shines through in his eyes. It’s enough to see his spirit’s rising. I smile lightly to myself as I watch him eat


	5. Disguise of the joker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Description of torture, description of wounds.

Beige, red, blue, purple, yellow, green. His skin is a pallet of colors. They twist and merge slowly into each other. It’s almost like a painting. I strike away the blood from his chest.  
‘You are strong. You are smart. You are initiative…’ I continue the mantra. He just lays there, listening to me. His head is resting on my legs. He’s breathing shallow.  
They pierced his lungs with needles today. Every time he screamed, until his voice was nothing more than squeals. I promised myself not to come back down here, for at least a day or two. But after seeing him like that, I couldn’t bare leaving him alone tonight. He has been here for a week. Every day he’s being tortured and every night I visit him and tell him he will get through it.  
‘…You will make it out. You will find a way to get me out of here. You’ll get us out of here.’ I look at him. His eyes are swollen, but he’s clearly looking at me. I smile soothing and look back at his chest, to wash away the blood. He lifts his hand and pushed his finger against my chin, turning it back towards his face. I look back at him. His fingers strokes my jaw, just before he lets his hand down.  
‘Is everything okay?’ I ask softly. ‘Do you need more alcohol?’ I know alcohol can relieve some pain.  
He just looks at me for a second, then nods. I grab the half full glass and pour some of the beer into his mouth. He drinks it gladly.  
When it’s empty, I put down the glass and continue cleaning him up. He squeaks as I pad his chest with the wet cloth. ‘Sorry,’ I whisper. He has his eyes closed. I stop washing him and stroke his hair. I’m just hoping to calm him down a bit. It’ll only hurt more if he cramps up. I look at his face. It’s all swollen and despite the many colors, he’s incredibly pale.  
He slightly turns his head, pushing his face against my belly. He seems to relax a little.  
He said he would find a way out within a few days, but I know he hasn’t found one. His poker face starts to fall off. He isn’t joking that much anymore, he’s often in pain, he’s often quiet. If he talks, he’s asking about me. The first time he saw me being attacked by my sister, he asked me if I was okay and why my sister would attack me. After hearing how they got the order to attack me, to make me more conscious about my surroundings, he gave me some tips. They seemed to work, because even though I wasn’t prepared for them, I did manage to be more aware.  
I asked a lot about him too. About his family, his interests. He loves reading, just like I do. I wish I could bring him back a book, but it is just too risky.  
His hand softly touches mine. It gets me out of my thoughts. I smile comforting when I see he’s looking at me. ‘You just love looking at me, don’t you?’ I whisper teasingly. The corner of his lip moves up to a little smile. He might be mocking me, he might find my remark amusing. I’m not sure, but it’s sure nice to see him smile again.

I place my head upon my pillow. I have stayed with Loki for quite some time. His state is bad. His muscles are stiff, his bones broken and his face swollen. He can barely see nor eat anything. Not that he has any appetite. He just wants to drink. I try to sneak in more beer now that he’s getting worse. Sometimes I manage to get two or three glasses, but it really depends on how dinner went and if people keep an eye on me afterwards.  
I close my eyes and sigh. I’ll have to get up in a few hours. Not that I do much during my day, but I always prefer getting up early. And if I break my normal routine, people will notice.  
Loki still plays pretend when he’s up against my father. He laughs, he smiles, he jokes around like he isn’t being tortured. They continue till he screams. But as soon as my brothers stop, he has another word prepared. He knows exactly what to say and what to do. It isn’t the perfect way to get out of the situation he’s in. Although I wouldn’t be able to say how he could get out. He might have a plan. If so, it doesn’t seem to be working.  
I try to focus on my breathing. The soft and steady sound is the perfect rhythm to fall asleep to. I think about being stabbed with a needle. It piercing through my lungs, pushing out the air with a scream. It’s what has happened to him. He felt that way and I couldn’t possibly imagine how it must hurt.

After a short nights rest, I get out of bed and into my clothes. I always start the day with a workout. I get a run, push some weights, kick some boxing balls and throw some knifes against a target. I often find myself alone, since I’m up early. But this time, Gamora is there. She’s practicing on her own, doing her routine I presume.  
We greet each other with a simple nod. She continues and I start following my own program.  
Eventually, she appears beside me. ‘You were up late last night.’  
I almost choke in the air I breathe. ‘Was I?’ I ask, without looking at her.  
‘I came by, but you weren’t in your room.’  
‘Do I have a curfew?’ I push away the weight with my legs. They tremble lightly under the load they have to carry. ‘Last time I checked it wasn’t mandatory to go to bed after dinner.’  
‘Where were you?’  
‘Why do you care?’  
‘Father cares.’  
I look up. ‘Why? I’m not that interesting.’  
She sighs. ‘Just answer my question.’  
‘I went to get some books from his library. Got distracted by some night animal that was flying around, followed it until I lost it and then took a detour back to my room, because I wasn’t feeling sleepy.’ I get up. ‘Would that be a satisfying answer?’ I’m not telling the truth, neither am I lying. I am simply directing her into thinking the wrong things.  
‘I guess so.’ She looks at me from head to toe, before leaving.  
I take a deep breath and sit back down. I should be more careful. I might be able to distract them from the truth, but if I was caught in the act, I wouldn’t be able to explain myself.  
I look at my shaking hands. They can’t find out. They can’t know.


	6. The man, the horse and the madness inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Norse mythologie, illness

Loki has a 105.5 degrees fever. He’s sweaty and shaky and he doesn’t seem to know where he is anymore. He barely seems to know _who_ he is at times. Father decided not to torture him for a few days. He is supposed to get no contact for at least a week. He’d only get some water and food from time to time. No one would talk to him. No one would torture him. Then father wants to see how he’s doing. If he thinks Loki is still doing too good, he will put him in another few weeks of isolation.  
‘…when we get out here, I’ll show him to you…’ He just told me some strange story about him turning into a horse, a mare, to be precise. Then having sex with a stallion and baring a horse with eight legs. ‘...you’ll love him. You will. I know you will…’ His mumbles only get softer, until I can barely hear. ‘…you will…’ I pour some water over his face. He’s clearly delirious. ‘…love, Sleipnir.’ He suddenly caresses my face. I blink in surprise and look at him. Three weeks. He has been here for three weeks now. I’m just wondering how much more he will manage to take.  
‘Loki?’ I ask. He doesn’t response. He just looks at me, caressing my cheek with the back of his fingers. He smiles. He can’t even see straight. ‘You go get some sleep, okay?’ I stroke through his hair. It’s quite long, wild and all tangled up. ‘You’ll get through this,’ I whisper.  
‘Pandora,’ he whispers. He plays with my hair.  
‘Sleep,’ I say again. His hand goes down and he closes his eyes, to do as I told him.

His fingers tingle the skin of my hand. He dozed off for about two minutes before waking up. ‘Pandora,’ he whispers. I look at him, waiting for him to fall back asleep. Instead he is just looking at my hand and caressing it lightly. ‘Pandora,’ he says again. ‘Will you stay with me tonight?’ He had to spend two nights alone, before I could come again. I found him curled up, softly moaning and feverish. ‘Will you?’ He asks. He looks so helpless.  
‘Okay,’ I answer softly. He looks up when he hears my voice. I nod. ‘I will stay.’ I’ll leave when he’s asleep. Father will probably want me to bring Loki his food tomorrow morning. Which would mean he wouldn’t have to be alone all day. He presses his face against my belly and takes a deep breath. He mumbles something, after which he falls back asleep.

My fingers slide over his pale skin. The red mark on his cheek, his strong jawline, the dimple in his chin. He’s looking so peaceful. I haven’t seen him like this before. Normally I’m gone before he sleeps. It must be the fever. It’s doing things to him. He’s normally quite the chatterbox. Sometimes it takes him an hour or more, but he always talks. He wants to know everything. He also wants to tell me a lot. I’m not used to people being this open, but I like it. After three weeks, it’s strange to see him like this. He still talked a lot tonight, but it didn’t make any sense. Somehow it feels very satisfying to see him like this, peaceful. I smile and look at the little scar, just above his right eye. It’s barely visible, only when looking up close. I wonder how he got it. He hasn’t told me about it yet. Will he? I wonder.  
‘You’re a fighter, aren’t you?’ I ask softly. My finger makes its way over his nose. It’s been broken in a couple of places. He already seems to heal a little.  
I pull back my hand and look around the room.  
I carefully move him. I put his head down on the ground, making sure he is laying comfortable. I take the tray. He didn’t eat anything tonight. Tomorrow I’ll have to make sure he does.  
I take another quick look before leaving. I can’t believe I have been here practically every night. It doesn’t feel like it. I feel like I barely ever see him.  
I yawn as I walk up the stairs. I open the door to the corridor a bit and quickly glance from side to side, before entering. I make my way to my room and open up the door.

‘Where did you come from?’ I look up in surprise. I haven’t even closed the door behind me. I put on the light and look at Gamora. She’s sitting on the edge of my bed.  
‘Why are you in my room?’  
‘Don’t avoid my question.’  
‘Stop asking me that question.’  
‘Why? Because you were doing something father wouldn’t want you to?’ She gets up.  
‘No, because I think you’re invading my privacy.’  
‘Would you tell father that if he’d ask you?’  
I grind my teeth. She always brings him up. ‘No, of course not.’  
‘Then you shouldn’t have a problem telling me.’ She walks towards me. She’s about as tall as me, I might be a few inches shorter. ‘Tell me.’  
‘I was with a man, okay,’ I whisper.  
She seems surprised. ‘A man?’  
‘Yes. Will you tell father?’ I ask. She stays completely quiet and just looks at me. ‘Will you?’ I insist.  
‘No,’ she says. She sighs. ‘You’re right. It’s none of my business.’ She walks past me and leaves my room, without saying anything else. I’m just praying for her to keep her word. If she does tell father, well that would be it. I would either be badly punished myself, or father would find the man I was with and kill him. I wasn’t even with Loki like that. I don’t think I ever would be able to be with Loki in such way. He can be incredibly rude, has strange humor and talks degrading about and to women. Or maybe he talks that way about everyone. I’m not even sure. He can be very kind too, he tries to be invested with me, he tries to make me laugh, or at least smile.  
I sigh and fall down on bed. I’m overthinking everything lately. I massage my temples and close my eyes. This guy is going to be the death of me.


	7. A hot mess

The water pours down his face. It goes down his neck and drips on my dress. Father gave me permission to give him food this morning. I mislead him into thinking it was his idea. After I came back and told him Loki had a fever, he gave me permission to take care of his wounds. He doesn’t want Loki to die, which works in my favor.  
‘Pandora?’ he whispers. His lips are dry, even though he just drunk some water. He slightly opens his eyes and looks at me. ‘Can I have a little more?’  
‘I’ll grab you some in a minute,’ I answer softly. Now that I have permission to care for him, I have an excuse to get down here. I can also take along more things and they wouldn’t get suspicious when seeing his wounds stitched up.  
I wash his whole body, clean out some wounds and stitch up most of them. He cringes now and then, but he barely reacts at all.  
I put his clothes back on and get him to sit up. ‘You go and eat something, while I get you some more water.’  
‘I’m not hungry,’ he says.  
‘I don’t care. You have to eat.’ I look him straight in the eye. ‘Eat. Please.’ He gives a small nod. Good enough to me. I push myself up, but he suddenly grabs my wrist. I look at him. ‘I’m just getting you some more water,’ I tell him. ‘I’ll be right back.’ His hands slips over mine as he lets me go. I grab the bottle and leave him. They won’t allow him anything that can be turned into a weapon, which is why I had to carry these soft and useless things down. I walk to the tap around the corner. It isn’t the cleanest water, since it’s meant for our… guests. But it’s drinkable and –if they don’t have any open wounds- it’s good enough to wash them. Not that the guards bother. They get the order to hose our guests regularly. Except when told otherwise. I rarely take any water out of here, but I can’t go up just to get him some water.  
I fill up the bottle.

'How’s our guest doing?’  
‘He’s got a 104 degree fever, barely eats, got some infected wounds and won’t stop rattling. He’s talking absolute nonsense,’ I tell father.  
‘How is it possible you always know everyone’s physical state?’ Nebula asks. She isn’t actually asking me that question, she knows I can’t answer it, simply because I don’t know. What she’s actually asking me is how I know he’s got infected wounds.  
‘Because I actually pay attention to everyone’s physical state,’ I bite back. She doesn’t like it.  
‘Does it make him vulnerable?’ father looks at a piece of paper while asking me.  
‘For death, certainly.’ I don’t want to tell him Loki’s mind can be easily tricked right now. I would practically give Loki his death sentence if I do so.  
‘You said he was talking nonsense?’ Father looks up from the document.  
‘I did. Nothing worth your time father, I promise.’ I’m not telling a lie. It truly isn’t important enough to be repeated.  
‘Hmm.’ He’s already looking at the paper again. ‘Make sure he doesn’t die. Nothing more.’  
I nod. ‘Will do father,’ I say softly. I turn around to leave.  
‘Pandora.’  
‘Yes father?’ I stop walking, waiting for him to continue.  
‘Gamora told me you’re often out at night.’ I turn around to face him. ‘Make sure you put back the books at exactly the same spot you get them from.’  
‘Of course, father.’ I hide away my relieve and surprise, as good as I possibly can. ‘Anything else?’ It’s probably for the best that he isn’t looking at me.  
He doesn’t answer, which means he doesn’t need me anymore, so I leave.

‘You barely ate.’  
‘You told me to eat, not how much.’  
‘Loki.’  
‘Don’t do that.’  
‘What?’  
‘Say my name like that.’ I hand him over another bottle of water. The clean water from upstairs. At least he’s hydrating well. ‘I don’t like it when you say my name like that.’  
I sigh. ‘Could you please just eat some more.’ I sit down opposite him and watch him drink. ‘Say,’ he says, in-between sips. ‘What did you do.’  
‘Sorry?’  
‘To me. What did you do?’  
‘Nothing.’ I frown. He has some clear moments in between fever, but he seems to be slipping back. I hope he won’t get too paranoid.  
‘Don’t lie to me. I know you did something.’ He takes another sip. His hand is shaking and he spills a bit.  
‘I’m not lying Loki.’ I take place beside him. He turns his head and looks at me. ‘I didn’t do anything to you.’  
He smacks his lips. ‘If you want me to eat, you’re gonna have to hand me over my food darling.’ I roll my eyes and give him his plate. He starts eating. The food looks disgusting. He pulls a face. Apparently it doesn’t taste much better than it looks. ‘You’re a terrible cook.’ Of course he would blame it on me.  
‘You think I wouldn’t have brought you anything better if I could’ve?’ He looks at me, but says nothing. He puts another spoonful in his mouth. It’s a gunk you don’t even need to chew. I put my hand against his forehead. He stops mid-bite, his mouth stuffed. He seems to want to get it over with as soon as possible. ‘At least you’re fever seems to go down a bit.’ Within a couple of hours it went down from a 104 to 102.3.  
He puts down the plate and swallows. ‘I’m done. Can you leave the bottle when you go?’  
Does he want me to leave? Earlier he wanted me to stay and now he seems to be eager to get rid of me. He surely doesn’t seem to know what he wants.  
‘Sure,’ I say. I take his plate and leave. Maybe he is just done with me.

I look at the ceiling. I tried reading, I tried music, I tried just closing my eyes and listening to the sounds around me, but nothing works. I can’t fall asleep.  
I roll on my side and look at the window. I could go for a stroll. Use the bit of freedom I have to go outside. Get some fresh air. Get my thoughts straight. It sure would be nice to get rid of all these invading thoughts I can’t seem to shake. Just walk around the lake, enjoy the silence. It’s always very quiet out. Especially at night. There aren’t a lot of creatures around, besides the people that live in the village nearby. The planet is a big, rock-like chunk of nothing. It's depressing if you ask me, but others don’t seem to mind as much. I don’t really get it. I would prefer more nature, more life. What would Loki say if he got outside? Maybe he has already seen it. He probably did.  
Why Loki didn’t want me with him this afternoon? He acted strange, even for his doing. It might just be the fever. I take a deep breath and turn to my other side. I am the only person he sees, outside the moments of torture. It’s not like he has many friends around. Maybe he doesn’t want them. Or maybe he doesn’t want me.  
I decided not to visit him tonight. Not only because Gamora is clearly keeping an eye on me lately, but also because I’m not sure he wants me to come by.  
I turn back around. It isn’t like I need him. He clearly doesn’t know what he’s doing. He doesn’t know a way out. Just like I never did.


	8. The gain of a selfish act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward situation

‘I can do that myself,’ he softly says. His voice is all messed up. He’s boiling hot and he barely has the strength to move.  
‘You clearly can’t.’  
‘I can. I’m strong enough.’  
‘Loki, stop acting like this,’ I whisper as he takes the cold cloth out of my hands. I take his hand. He looks up at me. ‘You might be strong, but right now you’re also ill. Everyone needs to be taken care of now and then, even you.’ I didn’t come by last night, like I promised myself. His fever went up again, just a bit. ‘Let me take care of you.’ He slowly lets go of the cloth. I take it from him and start cleaning him up again. He doesn’t seem that delusional anymore. He can be all over the place, but no more stories about him giving birth to a horse. Nothing of that sort. He seems to find relieve in the cold water dripping on his face.  
He reaches out to me, striking my hand with his fingers. ‘Will you come by, tonight?’ he whispers. His fingers feel rough against my skin, yet there was a softness to them. I blush, thinking about how much I enjoy his touch. He seems to notice and gently takes my hand.  
I look up at him. He grins widely. ‘If I hadn’t been ill now, I would’ve convinced you to come by.’ I raise my eyebrow in disbelieve. He talks a lot, but never makes good of his words. ‘You don’t believe me?’  
‘Absolutely not.’ I take his plate. ‘You sh- Loki, what are you doing?’ He has let go of my hand and presses himself up, pushing his upper body against the wall. His cheeks are flushed due to his effort.  
I lean forward, to help him. ‘Don’t. I can do it, just give me a moment.’  
‘Don’t be so stubborn.’  
‘I’m not stubborn. If anyone is, it would be you.’ I ignore him, put my hands on his sides and help him to sit straight.  
When I want to take my hands away, he grabs them and pulls me in close. Even though he’s sick and clearly weaker, he has enough strength to pull me to his chest and keep me there. It’s not only his head that feels feverish hot. I can feel clearly now that I’m pushed up against his bare chest. My face is pushed against his shoulder.  
‘Loki, what are you doing?’ I whisper anxious.  
He closes in on me, bringing his face closed to mine. ‘Proving my point,’ he whispers in my ear.  
‘You don’t need to convince me to come by tonight,’ I say. Does my voice sound strange?  
‘I’m not talking about that.’ His lips caress my cheek, giving me goosebumps.  
‘What is it then, you’re talking about?’ I definitely sound strange. My voice is vibrant and subdued. His lips go down my jaw. His hands push me up, just the slightest bit. His lips continue, going down my neck. Even his lips feel hot, they make me burn up.  
‘Forget about it.’ He suddenly takes his lips off my skin as he takes a little distance. He looks up at me. I look back. He has a strange look in his eyes, I can’t place. He takes more distance. His hands slide down, until he isn’t holding me anymore. ‘You should go,’ he says.  
I can never understand him. He tries to play around with me, being all sensual and trying to seduce me, just to turn it all around and tell me to go. I get off of him. I take his plate and put it I his lab. ‘You should eat. I’ll come back later to get everything.’ I put my hair behind my ear. ‘I’ll see you later.’ He moves his hand, as if to discharge me and everything I just said.  
I leave, without saying another word. If he treats me like this, I think I shouldn’t treat him the way I do anymore.

‘You are unusual quiet,’ Loki says.  
‘I’m not much of a talker,’ I answer.  
He smiles. He’s clearly feeling much better. He only has a 99.7 degree fever, which is good. It means the infection must have subsided. If I tell father he’s still too ill, I might get another few days to care for him.  
He stares at me, so intensely I can’t help but look up. He takes another bite. I got him some leftovers from tonight’s dinner. He barely ate today, I figured if I’d give him something more tasty, he might actually eat. It seems to work. His plate is almost empty. He takes his glass and gulps down the beer. All the while, he keeps staring at me.

When he’s finished, he puts his things down on the tray. I get up and take the tray. He frowns. ‘What are you doing?’  
‘You’ve finished. So I should go.’  
‘You’re going?’ I look away. If I look at him now, with the way he looks at me, I’ll fall into his trap.  
‘Yes.’  
‘But you’ve only been here for an hour.’  
‘I know. But I have to leave.’ I walk away, leaving him behind.


	9. The fool and his pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Torture, wound description, creature description, planet information, awkward flirting

Every hit echo’s through the room. A hard, swish whipping noise that goes through the bone. He is bleeding. His wrists, his back, his torso, his ankles. He’s sweaty and trembling. Not because he is ill, but because of the pain his body has to endure.  
He’s looking at me. He stares, without making a sound. It’s so intense I can’t do anything but look back.  
‘Seems like you have an admirer,’ Nebula jokes. I glance over at her.  
‘Or I might just have something between my teeth, or I might be wearing a color he likes, who knows.’ Nebula chuckles, a lifeless chuckle, but at least it is an expression of emotion.  
‘Pandora,’ father says. His voice overshadows all sound. I look up. ‘Come here,’ he says.  
I walk towards him like a well behaved girl. ‘Yes father?’  
He watches Loki. I glance over. He’s still staring at me. ‘Tell Jolsa we will be having guests tonight. She needs to make dinner for two more.’ I blink in surprise. Guests, actual guests?  
‘Yes father,’ I tell him. I leave the room, making sure to close it off behind me.

‘Guests?’ Jolsa says, just as surprised as me. ‘Then I have to go and buy more supplies.’  
‘Can I come along?’ I ask kindly. ‘I need to get some things myself.’  
‘Yes, yes, of course my little bowska,’ she says.  
‘When will we go?’  
‘You just tell your father, then we go.’ Jolsa waves her hands, as if to tell me to hurry. She wouldn’t do the same thing with my brothers and sisters. They would consider it disrespectful.  
‘I’ll be right back.’ I smile at her. She’s originally from a planet many lightyears away. It’s called Viljars. She talks a lot about it. About the purple skies, the creatures and its nature. She always has such stories. Her favorite is the one about the Algarian dragio, which apparently used to be some sort of creature on Viljars. A huge, naked creature with sharp claws, big wings and large, sharp teeth. They are a myth on her planet. A rare creature that has only been told about. She always says they’re just stories and probably never even exist. Even if they once did, they’d likely be extinct by now. Still, she can’t seem to get enough of them. She describes them so lifelike, I can practically see them.

The moment I get inside the great hall, Loki stares at me. He is out of breath and drooling. He seems to be exhausted, but he still is very perceptive.  
‘Father, Jolsa will need to buy more ingredients. Would it be alright for me to go along? I need to get some things myself.’  
‘You may,’ he says. Without saying more, he hands me over a bundle of money. Not that we need it, people often are too afraid to ask for anything in return. I myself do pay, but my siblings don’t. They expect people to give them things for free. That might be why people expect to be giving it for free. Father knows I prefer to pay. He once told me there are three types people in the world: the once that take things they want, the once that get what they want and the once that are too weak to know what they want. He then proceeded to ask me which one I thought I was. ‘I am one who gets what she wants,’ I answered. I came to that conclusion quickly. I do not simply take what I want, neither am I too weak to not to know what I want. I strongly dislike violence if unnecessary. I know he wants me to become someone that takes what she needs, but he seemed satisfied for the moment.  
I glance over at Loki while leaving.

‘You go do what you want bowska, I will meet you right here,’ Jolsa says.  
‘But should we not agree upon a time?’ I ask.  
‘No, don’t you worry. You take your time.’ She smiles and walks away quickly.  
I watch her a moment before going on my way. There isn’t much on this planet. Most things are imported. Things don’t grow here. The few plants that do quickly die or are uneatable. Which makes it unattractive to other creatures. Those that live here are either banished to this place, or prefer the silence. There aren’t many people around. Couple of hundred at the most. Those that do live here, aren’t here voluntarily or know people who are willing to come here with freight.  
I know exactly what I want. I want to get some fabrics and an invisible harness, amongst others. I rarely ever wear armor. I found that, when looking feminine, people treat you differently. My sisters are often treated far more direct, as if they have no emotions, as if they are dangerous. Which they are, of course. I prefer not to be looked at as dangerous and emotionless. A invisible harness is the perfect answer. It can be put over a dress and can be made visible easily. It will provide protection and comfort.  
I look around before entering an alley. The houses and shops are built in a manner that makes it labyrinth-like. Luckily I know my way around. I know all the shops. Even the dark and hidden ones, like Avenry, the shop I’m heading to right now.  
I look around once more before entering.

Loki takes a spoonful of his lunch. Father did not tell me to stop caring for him. He still has a slight fever and now, after today’s torment, he will be going back into isolation for another few weeks. I will take care of him until father tells me to stop. Which means I can still visit him at day.  
‘Thank you,’ he suddenly says. He has been quietly looking at me ever since I came in. We have not spoken a word until now.  
‘What for?’ I say.  
‘The soup. I know you must’ve gone through quite some trouble to get it to me.’ He looks at the bowl in his hands, before looking up at me.  
‘You’re welcome.’ I put the cloth in the bucket. I watch it as it slowly sinks down to the bottom.  
‘Will you speak to me?’  
‘I am.’  
‘Not like you used to.’  
‘Don’t I?’ I know I’m speaking differently than I normally do. I can’t even look at him properly. Of course he notices.  
He stays quiet for a while. He doesn’t eat, nor does he move. Eventually he lets his head down. ‘I’m-‘ He grinds his teeth. ‘I’m-‘ He looks up at me and stares for a moment. ‘I- shouldn’t have done what I did, okay?’  
‘Sure,’ I say, without looking up at him.  
‘Can you stop punishing me now?’  
‘Who says I’m punishing you?’ I answer. I decided to take my distance.  
‘Will you stop it! I know I was stupid, I already said I was sorry, what more do you want from me?’ he shouts.  
‘I want to know why.’ I feel my muscles tense up as I look at him.  
‘I don’t know.’ He looks away.  
‘Don’t lie to me,’ I whisper.  
‘I don’t know,’ he repeats.  
‘Fine,’ I growl. I stand up. I won’t be keeping him company, nor will I be cleaning his wounds. ‘I’ll be back in an hour. Make sure you-‘ He grabs my ankle. I fall down, since I already started to walk away. He tries to correct his actions by grabbing my wrist, but that only changes my direction slightly. I fall onto his legs.  
I try to get up, but as soon as I push myself onto my hands and knees, he grabs my waist and pulls me towards him.  
‘Loki, stop it!’ I try to free myself from his grip.  
‘Will you stop squirming!’ He tightens his grip on me. ‘You’ll get my blood all over your dress.’  
‘I wouldn’t squirm if you’d just let me go,’ I sneer.  
‘No, you will leave if I do.’  
‘Yes, I w-‘ He pushes his mouth onto mine as soon as I turn my head somewhat towards him. He cuts off my sentence, my breath, my thoughts. I stop moving immediately, yet he doesn’t stop kissing me. His lips are soft, in contrast to their movement. They taste salty, due to the soup. I panic, as I don’t know what to do or how to react. He forces my lips to move along. I decide to stop thinking, I close my eyes and simply let him take the lead.

  
He takes his lips off mine, but keeps them close by, lingering for more. I can feel his heartbeat against my chest, his breath against my skin. It’s quick and exiting. I open my eyes to look at him. He’s looking back at me. He seems so confused.  
I start to become aware of my surrounding. He isn’t holding onto me anymore. He is, but not as strongly as before. His hands are softly pushed against my back.  
‘I’m sorry,’ he whispers against my lips. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. I’m not sure if I understand what it is that he apologizes for. He gently pushes his forehead against mine. ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me.’ I feel every word against my skin as his lips touch mine while speaking. I keep quiet. He has me all confused with his strange actions.  
He kisses me once again, shorter and more delicate this time. ‘I’m sorry,’ he says again. His lips caress mine. ‘I’m so sorry,’ he sighs, without stopping the gentle movement of his lips. Although my head is all fuzzy and I can barely think about anything but the scent of his skin, I am waiting for him to make a joke out of it. I’m waiting for him to tell me I’m weak, like all the other women. I’m waiting for him to make a remark on how easily he can make a fool out of me. I’m waiting for him to tell me to leave again.  
‘Stay,’ he whispers, as his lips make their way over my cheek, towards my ear. His hand grabs the fabric of my dress. ‘Don’t make me beg.’ I get goosebumps from his hoarse voice.  
‘Loki,’ I whisper, not knowing what else to say.  
‘You want to know why I did it?’ He asks. ‘I did it to prove something to myself.’ His heart is beating just as fast as mine.  
‘Did you?’ I force myself to ask.  
‘Hmm?’  
‘Prove it to yourself?’  
‘No,’ he says. ‘I wasn’t able to.’ He looks at me. He seems honest, but with him, I sometimes just don’t know anymore. ‘Stay?’ he asks again.  
‘Okay,’ I cave.


	10. Trust the threat

‘Will you stay, just a little longer.’ His fingers go up and down over my spine. I am sitting beside him. He already ate his dinner. He has been staring at me for the complete evening.  
‘Loki,’ I say. He looks at me, to show me he’s listening. ‘Can you just tell me-‘ I swallow my pride. ‘Just tell me.’ I look at him. ‘Are you playing around with me again?’ He smiles teasingly. I look at my hands. ‘Okay,’ I say. I pull away from him.  
‘Pandora-‘  
‘No, it’s okay. I thought as much.’  
‘No.’ He grabs my hands. ‘I’m not playing around with you.’ He seems serious, but I’m never sure with him.  
‘You say that, but-‘ I shake my head.  
‘Will you just trust me.’ He brings my hands close to his chest. ‘Please?’ He looks desperate. He never said please, did he? I try to remember.  
I take a deep breath. ‘I will. Even though you placed a shard against my throat the first time we met.’  
‘Sure makes for a good story though, doesn’t it?’ He grins. I laugh and lean against the wall. He follows my example.  
‘Thank you,’ he suddenly says. Another thing I haven’t heard him say that often.  
‘What for?’  
‘For trusting me.’  
‘It’s nothing,’ I say. I smile kindly. I know I trust people too quick, at least I used to.  
‘It is.’ He plays with my fingers. He stays silent and looks at our hands. I’m not the one to break the silence. I simply watch him. ‘When we get out of here,’ he starts, ‘We’ll find out where you’re from, get you your memories back. Making some more in the progress.’  
‘Aren’t you afraid?’ I ask. He looks at me and frowns. ‘We don’t know who I am with my memories. I might just have a different personality-‘  
‘I don’t care.’  
‘I might hate you’re kind.’  
He grins. ‘Everyone does.’  
‘I might be married.’  
‘We’ll figure it out.’ He looks at me.  
‘What if I am?’  
‘Then I’ll have to fight your husband for your hand. I’ll win of course.’ He smiles. ‘Or you’ll simply choose me. Because I, of course, am much better looking than your husband.’  
‘What if I have children?’  
‘Then they’ll come along. I’m terrible with children, it’ll be fun.’ I laugh and push my forehead against his shoulder. ‘I’m serious though. I don’t care about your past.’ He wraps his arms around me and pulls me against him. ‘I just think you would want to know.’ I nod lightly. He’s right. I do want to know. ‘Then we’ll find out.’ He puts a kiss against the crown of my head.  
I put my arms around him and close my eyes. It’s nice to be up against him like this.

I open my eyes. My sight is all blurry. I close them again and stretch my body a bit.  
‘Hmwh.’ I yawn and replace my head a bit.  
My body tenses. I open my eyes again and blink a few times. I am _not_ in my room. The soft thing my head is resting on moves up and down. I look up, only to see Loki’s face up close. The comfortable warmth comes from his body, pushed against mine.  
‘Oh no,’ I whisper. I quickly break free from his grip. It takes me a moment to orientate.  
‘Pandora?’ I woke Loki up in my haste. He’s looking just as rosy as I’m feeling. He smacks his lips a few times.  
‘I fell asleep,’ I whisper.  
‘You did.’  
‘You didn’t wake me?’  
‘You seemed so comfortable. I figured I could let you sleep a while.’  
‘Well, you fell asleep too,’ I tell him. ‘It’s morning. If anybody catches me, I’ll be done for.’  
‘Just pretend you were checking up on me.’  
I walk up to him and give him a quick kiss. ‘Go back to sleep. I’m gonna try to sneak out.’  
‘Will I see you this afternoon?’  
‘If father doesn’t tell me to stop caring for you. If I’m not here this afternoon, I’ll come by tonight.’ I quickly open the door to leave. I look at him for a moment. He smiles sleepy. I shyly smile back, before locking him up again.

As quiet as possible, I open the door to the corridor. Nobody’s there. I get into the corridor and close off the door to the dungeon.  
As soon as I turn around the first corner, I stumble upon Gamora.  
‘Pandora,’ she says, her eyes big in surprise. She frowns. ‘What are you doing here?’  
‘I was just.’ I try to think about a logical explanation. ‘I heard something, so I decided to see if it wasn’t one of our guests trying to find their way.’  
‘And?’ Her eyes narrow.  
‘Nothing. I didn’t find anyone.’ She clearly doesn’t believe me. I can’t blame her, I’m a terrible liar, which is why I normally only twist the truth or play with words. ‘I’m going back to bed now.’ I slip past her.  
‘Sure. Get some more sleep,’ she says, without turning around. ‘I’ll see you in a few hours Pandora.’ It’s a clear threat, although you wouldn’t say when you don’t know her like I do. I ignore her and continue walking. She knows somethings up. So far she might have thought I was seeing someone, but she’ll surely know somethings up now.  
I’ll have to be more careful.


	11. Turn and twist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of graphic description

I look at the two man sitting at the end of the table. They are talking to father. Now and then they look our way. They are strange looking man. One looks like me and Loki: two eyes, two ears, a nose, a mouth, hair mostly concentrated on top of his head. We might be from the same species. He has a scar on his face, from his left ear, over his nose, to his right ear. He is muscular, tall and has a beard. He’s looking kind of shady. His companion has red skin, yellow eyes, pointy ears and a tail. He isn’t as muscular, but he is no doubt strong.  
I take another bite and glance over at my siblings. Nebula is in a discussion with Ebony. Corvus is silent, like always. He doesn’t talk much to us. Gamora, she’s staring at me. I frown. She never gets involved with her siblings that much, so it’s a rare thing to find her staring at you. I keep an eye on her while eating my breakfast.  
‘…my daughter will take care of that.’ We all look up as father mentions one of us. ‘Nebula. You will be making sure their ship is ready for leave, tomorrow morning.’ The men look at us, one by one, as if they haven’t seen us before.  
‘Yes father,’ Nebula says. I pity her. She always gets the worst jobs. They might, of course, think the same of me. At least Nebula can leave the planet now and then to fight, concur or retrieve objects. I am stuck.

After breakfast, I go and train. I haven’t done so this morning, since I slept with Loki until early this morning. I put on my trainings suit. The strong, tight fabric moves flexible. It’s light and great for training and fighting. It is all black with golden details.  
I walk towards the training room while tying my hair in a ponytail. Our two guests walk towards me. They clearly let their eyes feast. They don’t even try to hide it. I walk past them and enter the training room. I can’t deny that it bothers me, but I would not tell anyone that it does. I would look weak. The weak girl that nags about boys staring at me. Nebula would call them pigs, but she thinks all men are. I’m not sure what pigs are, but I’m guessing it isn’t a complement. If they were to look at Gamora this way, she would’ve grabbed them by their balls, twist them and tell them to stop staring. They would, of course. If they were any other person she might have gutted them, but with fathers guests she couldn’t simply do such thing.  
I grab my knifes and start practicing.

It takes me about half an hour to notice Gamora. She’s standing near the door, watching me. ‘Sister?’ I say.  
‘Don’t mind me,’ she says. ‘Continue.’  
I look at her a moment, before continuing my work-out. I can’t help but get distracted by her. What is she doing here?  
‘You’re holding them wrong.’ She comes walking towards me. I stop and watch her. She gets closer, grabs the knife. A moment I’m expecting her to start attacking me, but she simply changes its position in my hand. She gives a slight nod before stepping back. ‘Try it this way.’ I look at her. ‘Go on,’ she insists. I turn towards the dummy and start attacking it again. The knives hit exactly where I want them to. They go through the dummy like it’s nothing.  
I stop and look at Gamora. ‘You’re not used to using knives this way,’ she says. ‘You must’ve used other weapons, before coming here.’ She walks around me.  
‘What makes you say that?’ I ask, I follow her movements closely.  
‘The way you move,’ she tells me. ‘You’ve never worked with other weapons while you were here, did you?’ I shake my head, I haven’t. Ever since I was here, I had to train myself. There was nobody to give me feedback. Now, after three years, Gamora suddenly does. ‘You normally throw them,’ she says. ‘Why decide to train this way?’  
‘Because you rarely start attacking from afar.’  
She smiles slyly. ‘So you decided to start training this way today?’  
‘No. I’ve done it before, it’s just not my normal routine.’ I watch her.  
‘You’re good at throwing. You’ve practiced it ever since you were here,’ she says. She actually says something nice, that’s rare. ‘You should try different weapons. I’m sure you’ll improve in no time.’ She looks straight at me. ‘Maybe then you won’t get bored at night and stop wandering around.’ She turns around and walks off.

I walk into the dungeon. I open Loki’s door, close it off behind me and kneel down while putting the tray on the floor. He smiles at me. I look at him and simply shake my head. He frowns. Gamora followed me down here. I couldn’t shake her, I couldn’t take him his normal lunch and we can’t act the way we normally do. I hand him his lunch. ‘Make it quick,’ I say. ‘I have a lot to do today.’ He seems to understand. He doesn’t make a sound while eating his meal. He pulls a face now and then. It really must be disgusting. I’m glad I never tried it.  
I lean back against the bars, watching him eat his meal. He stares at me. I try to make it clear to him we have company, without being too obvious.  
‘This is truly disgusting,’ he says. He puts down the bowl. There’s still food in it.  
‘Tough luck. If you don’t want to eat, then don’t.’  
‘Get me something else.’  
‘No.’ He winks at me as I take the bowl and the tray. I give him a small smile, before turning around and taking off.  
‘One day I’ll convince you to let me out of here,’ he says, while I open the door.  
‘Now why would I ever let you out of here?’ I say. I close off the door behind me.  
‘Because I’m adorable.’ He grins widely.  
I can’t help but laugh. ‘You are a narcissist,’ I tell him. ‘You are rude and think you’re funny, but you’re not.’ I walk away.  
‘You adore me!’ he shouts.  
‘In your dreams!’ I shout back. I walk up the stairs, leaving him and our conversation behind me.


	12. Wide awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward flirting, awkward situation

Four and a half day. I haven’t been able to visit Loki for four and a half day. Gamora has been following me around for a week. At first I was still able to see him during daytime, bring him his lunch. But then Gamora asked me why I did it, in company of father. I answered her: father had asked me to care for him and I would until I was told otherwise. Father immediately withdrew his earlier order. Gamora continued following me around none the less. Loki is in total isolation. He probably didn’t get anything to eat in days. The guards probably hose him daily. Normally they already would have, but I think they found he didn’t stink and looked rather clean. They probably thought someone before their service already hosed him down, or maybe they thought someone got special orders to clean him up. The guards can be quite lazy. If a guest seems clean enough, they’ll wait another day, and another, until they think it’s not a waste of their time. They have to go through a lot of trouble when hosing someone down, since they can’t get into someone’s cell.  
I quietly watch Jolsa and her servants cook our dinner. A loud bang makes me look up. ‘Watch where you go,’ Gamora sneers. The young servant quickly apologizes and starts cleaning up. Gamora comes walking up to the counter. ‘Jolsa.’  
‘Kendrik, watch the pan!’ Jolsa quickly orders a staff member, before she walks our way. ‘Yes miss Gamora?’  
‘I need supplies. A week’s worth. Get it done by tonight.’  
‘Yes, of course,’ Jolsa says.  
‘You’re leaving?’ I say surprised.  
Gamora looks at me. ‘Yes. Father gave me a job to do.’ She turns around and leaves.  
Jolsa looks me up and down. ‘You okay?’  
‘Yes. Just surprised,’ I tell Jolsa. I smile kindly at her.  
‘Hmm- Surprised,’ she repeats. She turns and start giving out commands. This is her territory. She gives the orders around here. I smile and leave her to it.

‘Gamora! Father I would have been perfectly capable to-‘  
‘I made my decision,’ father says. He’s perfectly calm, in contrast to Nebula. She seems white hot with anger. She gives Gamora a nasty look and walks off. She doesn’t even notice me, even though she passes me as she leaves the room.  
‘Is there anything I can do to help? Prepare the ship? Make sure the servants have her clothes ready?’ I look at father.  
‘That’s not your job Pandora,’ father answers. ‘I need you to find me a book.’ I blink in surprise. He never asks me for such things. He hands me over a piece of paper. ‘Make sure you find it before your sister leaves tonight.’  
‘Of course father.’ I nod. ‘When will she be leaving?’  
Gamora narrows her eyes. ‘After dinner I will be packing my things, then I’ll leave.’  
‘I will make sure to find it before then,’ I tell her and leave. I know she’s following me, but I don’t care. I’m doing exactly as I should. If she wants to waste her time, it’s her decision.  
I go into the library and open the piece of paper father has given me. There is a drawing on it, one of a neckless. I frown. I have seen it before, but in which book. I fold the paper and put it in the hidden pocket in the seam of my dress. I don’t want to lose it. I might need it to compare the images from the books to.  
I walk through the library and get a few books out of the cases. I put them onto the table and after collecting a few, I start searching.

After more than two hours, I finally find the book I was looking for. I rip off the corner of the paper father gave me and put it between the pages. I quickly read about the neckless.  
‘You don’t need to know what we’re looking for.’ Gamora appears and closes the book. ‘This is it?’  
‘Yes,’ I answer.  
‘Great.’ She grabs it off the table and leaves. I sigh. I’m not sure what’s going on with her. I start putting back the books. I have to clean everything up. Father has been very clear about that. My stomach rumbles. I’m late for dinner. So is Gamora. Not that anyone would care.  
I fold up the drawing of the neckless and put it back in my pocket. At least Gamora didn’t take that one along.

I walk up to the table and take my place beside Corvus. I put food on my plate. It is looking absolutely delicious. Jolsa really did her very best again.  
Gamora is already sitting at her place beside father. They are talking. Conversations between father and Gamora are always brief and only the essentials are discussed.  
Gamora leaves early. She couldn’t have been here that long, so she barely ate.  
I take my glass and sip from the wine. The sweet sensation tickles my tongue, even my lips.  
Father stands up, which means dinner is over. I grab some more food and fill up my plate. He laughs. ‘Nebula, tell Jolsa to leave the food out until Pandora is finished.’  
‘Yes father.’ She gives me a hateful look. I bite my lip.  
She stands up and leaves too.

It doesn’t take long for my other siblings to leave. Now that I’m alone, I can easily gather things for Loki. ‘Could you bring me a tray?’ I ask one of the servants. If anyone asks, I’ll say I prefer eating in my room.  
‘Of course, miss.’ The servant leaves.  
Not that long after, he comes back with a tray. ‘Here you go miss, is there anything else I can get you?’  
‘Yes, could you make sure a chalice of wine is brought up to my room?’  
He nods. ‘It will be there when you get there miss.’ He leaves once more. I start filling up the tray. I grab beer, water, fill up the plate, put a few of the food bowls onto the tray. It’ll be heavy, but I’ll have to manage.  
After I can’t put anything on it anymore, I take the tray and leave the room. I quickly look up and down the corridor, before walking down it.  
Every corner I take a look. I need to make sure I won’t bump into someone.

I made it all the way to the dungeon without any trouble. I put down the tray, simply because I can’t keep it in one hand to open the door to his cell.  
I quickly make my way to him. He’s asleep, curled up against the wall.  
I put down the tray and kneel down beside him. ‘Loki,’ I whisper. I place my hand on his arm. He doesn’t react. He feels cold. I rub his arm. ‘Loki, wake up,’ I whisper again. I don’t want to be coarse.  
He sits up so quick, he startles me. He looks at me sleepy. ‘Pandora?’ he mumbles. I smile. He rubs his eyes and blinks a few times. He slowly looks around.  
‘I got you dinner,’ I say. ‘It’s still warm.’ I take the bowl with soup from the tray.  
‘You’re kidding?’  
‘No, it’s really still warm. Well, not all of it, but not everything was in the first place.’ I look up at him and hold up the bowl.  
He looks at me, puzzled. Glances over at the tray and eventually he slowly takes the bowl. ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t come earlier,’ I say. ‘Gamora kept on following me and when father heard I was still bringing you food, he told me to stop.’ I smile cautiously.  
He puts down the bowl. ‘You think I care about that?’  
‘I figured you wanted to know why I didn’t come earlier.’ He wraps his arms around me and pulls me in so sudden, that I fall against him. I let out a small squeak in surprise.  
‘God I missed you,’ he whispers in my ear. He kisses my jaw. ‘You are just a dream, aren’t you?’ I let out a giggle. ‘Hmm, that’s cute. I don’t think I’ve even heard you giggle before.’ I don’t think I ever heard it myself. He traces my jaw to my lips and kisses me. He pulls me up on his lap.  
‘Loki?’ I whisper. His hands slide over my waist, pulling up my dress. ‘Loki!’ I say shocked. I grab his hands. He pulls me closer. His lips go down my neck. My heart is pounding like crazy. ‘Loki, what are you doing.’  
‘Sssh,’ he shushes me. He kisses me again.  
‘Loki, stop pulling my dress up,’ I whisper against his lips. I’m still holding his hands to prevent him from undressing me. He kisses me passionately. I bite his lip. He pulls back in surprise. ‘Stop it, or I’ll hit you.’  
‘Did you just bite me?’ He places his fingers on his lips. He’s bleeding. I didn’t mean to bite that hard. He laughs. ‘You are just full of surprises.’ He lets his hand slip off my waist. ‘I’m sorry,’ he says. ‘I just got excited.’ He rubs away some blood. ‘I really-‘ He looks at me. ‘I-‘  
‘What is it?’ I ask softly. I place my hands on his chest. ‘You can tell me.’  
He looks at me, a bit doubtful. He definitely has trust issues. He puts his hands on mine. ‘I- Missed you.’ He has so much trouble getting the words out of his mouth I almost think he’s chocking on them.  
I smile. ‘I missed you too.’ I put a quick kiss on his lips. ‘You have no idea.’ I kiss him again. As long as he doesn’t start taking my dress off again, I don’t mind kissing him. I definitely don’t mind.

‘I dreamed about you,’ he whispers. I am sitting beside him, his arm around my shoulder. He uses his other hand to eat.  
‘You did?’ I ask. He nods and puts a grape in my mouth. He now and then feeds me some of the food I brought along. He thinks I’m too skinny. He’s exaggerating. ‘What about?’  
He grins from ear to ear. ‘You really want to know?’  
I look at him. ‘Was it dirty?’  
‘Oh, very.’  
‘Did you think it was a dream when you woke up and saw me sitting in front of you?’ I ask. He did say something like that.  
He plays around with my hair. ‘I might have, yes,’ he admits. He takes another bite. ‘I was really convinced of it until you bit my lip.’ He gives me a kiss. His lips are sweet. ‘I forgot how feisty you can be.’  
I roll my eyes. ‘You are terrible.’  
‘You love it,’ he says. He looks at me teasingly and sips his beer.  
‘Luckily for you.’ He smiles widely at my answer.


	13. Hoping for the best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background information, flirting

His fingers softly caress my skin. I’m leaning against his chest. I turn my head, putting my ear against his chest and closing my eyes. His heart is beating fast, even though he is breathing slowly. His fingers reach the little birthmark on my shoulder. He lingers, going over it again and again. It feels comfortable, as if we’ve always been this way. In a strange way I’ve always felt comfortable with him, even when I didn’t. It’s a strange sensation I can’t explain.  
I open my eyes when he touches my lips with his fingers. I look up without moving. He smiles at me.  
‘Will you tell me more about where you’re from?’ I ask softly. I know he’s adopted, he found out not that long ago. He told me about how he found out he was simply one of his father’s trophies. He told me about his brother, who always took action without thinking, who never accepted his advice. His brother, who never listened unless he wanted to. Loki never felt appreciated. He always tried his very best, but it was never enough. Then Loki and his brother changes position. Loki told me how he decided to be more like his brother and how his brother suddenly decided fighting wasn’t the answer to everything. His father still preferred Thor. He realized he would never be good enough. He couldn’t be Thor, even if he acted like him. It was one of the most personal things he told me. He, of course, didn’t tell me he wanted to be loved, or accepted, but I understood the context of his stories.  
‘What do you want to know?’ He asks softly.  
‘Everything. What are the people like? What does the city look like? Which creatures walk around? Tell me everything?’ I smile enthusiastic.  
‘It’s- Nice,’ he says. ‘The people- They look like you and me. Asgardians. They’re- strong. I guess.’ He bites his lip. ‘How about I show you once we get out of here?’ He looks at me. ‘I’ll show you everything,’ he promises. ‘Not only my planet.’  
I smile and make myself comfortable against him. ‘That would be nice.’

‘I’ll be back tomorrow evening,’ I tell him. He’s holding onto my waist as a little kid, his head pushed against my belly. ‘I promise.’ About an hour ago, I told him I had to leave. Ever since, he’s been trying to postpone my leaving. He pinned me down, started kissing me. He started telling me a story about how he once changed into a snake to attack his brother and advised me to do the same to one of my siblings, just to prove to them I had some tricks upon my sleeve. I’m not quite sure what to think about that story. It’s a rather strange thing to do. Now he is holding me. As soon as I stood up, he grabbed me.  
‘Won’t you stay a little longer?’ He holds me tightly.  
‘Loki,’ I say. ‘I can’t stay all night.’  
‘You did once,’ he says.  
‘And then I got caught by Gamora, who started following me, which ended in me not being able to come and visit you for over four days.’ I look down at him. He knows I’m right.  
‘But Gamora left, right?’  
‘I still have other siblings. Nebula, Proxima, Corvus, Ebony, Cull.’  
‘You’ve got a lot of siblings,’ Loki says. ‘Tell me about them.’  
‘Loki,’ I laugh.  
‘Come on. After you’ve told me about them you can leave, I promise.’ He looks at me with his big eyes.  
‘Damn you,’ I whisper. He smiles widely. ‘What do you want to know?’  
‘Everything.’ I sit down and look at him. He’s absolutely terrible.  
‘Corvus and Ebony you met-‘  
‘Obviously,’ he mumbles.  
‘Cull is even worse. He is more muscular, whereas Ebony and Corvus obviously aren’t.’  
‘Well, they’re strong enough to keep me in my place and hit the hell out of me. Muscles don’t say everything,’ he mumbles.  
‘They train a lot. So, you’re right. You can’t see their strength, they’re not particularly muscular, whereas Cull is.’ I play with his fingers. For a moment they seem blue to me, but it might just be the light and cold. ‘Cull is away now, he has been for a few months. He is often away for multiple months at a time.’ I look up at him. ‘Then there is Nebula.’  
‘The blue-cyborg-girl, right?’  
I nod. ‘The blue-cyborg-girl.’  
‘What happened to her?’  
‘Father forced her and Gamora to fight each other when they were kids. At least, that’s what I heard. The loser would be punished. Father would replace a part by technology,’ I tell him softly.  
‘And she kept on losing,’ he whispers. He concludes it from the way my sisters look.  
‘Yes.’ I take a deep breath. ‘Gamora you’ve met too.’  
‘The one that attacked you.’  
‘She’s one to watch.’  
‘I noticed.’ He intertwines our fingers.  
‘Then there is Proxima. I’ve barely seen her. I think I’ve met her- twice.’  
‘Within three years?’ he says, surprised.  
‘Within three years,’ I confirm. ‘So, those are my siblings.’  
‘No, tell me more.’ He grabs my arm. ‘Stay.’  
‘Loki, I really have to leave.’ He kisses me.  
‘Just a little longer.’  
‘You said that one and a half hour ago. I really need to go. I’ll be back tomorrow evening.’ I try to get loose. He looks at me with his big eyes, begging me to stay. ‘I promise. I promise I’ll come by tomorrow.’ I place a kiss on his nose. He blinks surprised. ‘Promise,’ I repeat. He slowly lets me go.  
‘You’re a strange girl.’  
I smile as I stand up. ‘And you’re a strange boy.’


	14. The scramble shop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fighting practice

I look at the list father gave me while strolling through town. He send me to get some important things he needed. I’m not sure why they are important, but since he lets me get them and not one of the servants, it must be.  
I check the list again. I just need one more thing. I walk up to a little shop that deals in stolen goods. It’s a small, filled up store. The front of the store is legal, it’s filled with all sorts of things, in the back, there are gathered goods. Stolen, scrambled, imported for a low price. I look around a bit while walking past the salesman. I walk to the back without asking permission. I know I’ve seen it here somewhere around here. I move around some stuff and find a little box. I rumble it around. There’s something in it. I look at it, but it seems to be completely locked up. Although I feel intrigued, I put down the box and continue looking.  
‘There it is,’ I mumble to myself. I get the sword and put it under my arm to take it along.  
I walk around a little longer. Sometimes I find things that are interesting.  
I scramble around a bit. It’s difficult with a basket and sword in one arm, but not impossible. I find a book that seems interesting. I take the things to the counter. ‘I’m ready,’ I tell the salesman. He comes walking to the back. He looks at me, then at the things I want to buy.  
‘For you, free,’ he says.  
‘Sir, I don’t mind paying, just tell me how much it is.’ I take out the bundle of money father gave me.  
The salesman looks me up and down. ‘You are one of Thanos’ children, are you not?’ he asks. I nod. He frowns. ‘Then it’s free.’  
‘It shouldn’t be free for me just because I’m one of his children. Now tell me what I owe you,’ I insist.  
His frown grows deeper. ‘120,80.’  
I take out the money to give it to him, only to find him wrapping up the book in some sort of brownish paper. ‘Oh, that isn’t necessary,’ I tell him.  
‘The book is very sensitive. With this weather, it will fall apart.’  
‘Well- Thank you,’ I say, surprised.  
He glances over to me. ‘No problem,’ he tells me. ‘You are different, then your siblings.’  
‘You don’t say,’ I chuckle. I swallow. ‘Don’t tell them, though.’  
‘You think I’m crazy? If I say such thing, they will chop my head off.’ He smiles wryly. He hands me over the book. ‘Here you go.’ I hand him the money in return. He puts it in his register without counting it. ‘If you need anything, you can always ask me, I will make sure to get it for you. It might take me a while, but I’ll get it for you.’  
I smile kindly. ‘Thank you sir.’

‘I got you your things, father,’ I say. He is working in his room. I brought the book to my room before coming here. He wouldn’t mind me buying it, but I prefer to keep it to myself. ‘Good,’ he mumbles, without looking up. I put the basket down beside his desk and place the sword on it. ‘Not that one,’ he says. I look up at him. ‘Gamora said you need a change of pace, she advised a sword.’ She said that? ‘Take it along and practice with it.’  
‘Yes father,’ I say. I’m overwhelmed. I didn’t know Gamora talked to him about it. She told me I needed to train with another weapon, something I could use close up instead of my knives. She didn’t mention she would talk to father about it. ‘Thank you father.’  
He mumbles something. I get the hint, take the sword and leave him to it.  
It’s a beautiful sword. I’ve looked at it many times before. It’s silver blade is engraved with markings. It’s quite wide, for a sword that is. It has some cut-outs. The strangest being a small circle near the handle. The handle is made out of a black leather, which has a blue shine about it. It looks very expensive. Since it’s explicitly put on fathers list, it means he must’ve known about it. Did I go to that shop with Gamora once? Or did she spy on me before? I’m not sure, might be both. The sword has been there ever since I can remember. It’s too expensive for the people who know about the shop and those who _can_ afford it either prefer to get one made, or not to be seen in a scramble shop.  
I go to my room to get changed. If father tells me I need to practice with it, he doesn’t mean I should waste time and wait till tomorrow doing so. It’s not like I have anything better to do anyway.

As I walk towards the dummy, I get my new sword out of its holster. It feels surprisingly light in my hands. I swing it from side to side a bit. It makes a nice noise. I look at the markings on it. The first time I saw it, I wanted to buy it. I couldn’t though, I didn’t have enough money for it. Since I wasn’t one to take it along either way, I left it there.  
I look at the dummy and take a deep breath. I wonder if Gamora is right, if I actually have experience in fighting with other weapons. If I did, would I still be able to fight the way I did, despite losing my memory?  
I stretch my muscles a bit.  
‘Are you going to fight it, or will you be standing there all day?’ I look up in surprise when Nebula suddenly speaks up. She’s leaning against the wall, pretty much in the exact same spot Gamora did before.  
‘When did you get here?’ I ask.  
‘Not that long after you, I guess.’ She looks me up and down.  
‘I’m not used to fighting with a sword,’ I tell her.  
‘Gamora is convinced you are.’  
‘She told you that?’  
‘No, she told father.’ She pushes herself away from the wall and walks my way. ‘I just happened to overhear.’ I stay quiet. She apparently listens in to the conversations others have. She grabs her weapon. I sigh. It’s a baton-like weapon, which is capable of electrocuting people. She loves weapons with electricity. I hate them. ‘Let’s just see what you can do with it then.’ She sweeps her baton through the air. I duck away.  
‘I haven’t practiced yet.’  
‘Sometimes you can’t practice and you need to use everything you have to your advantage. Now fight!’ She swings it again. I block it with my sword and push it away. She smiles cruelly. She kicks her legs in the air. I manage to avoid her kicking the sword out of my hands and kick away the leg that first hits the ground. She seems surprised, but recovers quickly. She swirls her legs over the ground. I step back, but she throws her baton at my head. I grab the sore spot, which gives her the opportunity to grab the baton and get up.  
‘Do we really have to do this?’  
‘If you want to stay alive. Yes.’ She swings her baton, I block it with my sword, but then she grabs my arm and kicks me in the side. I moan. She kicks me a few more times before I manage to get loose. She immediately reacts and hits me in the leg with the baton. The shock makes me go down. She laughs. ‘You really have to do better than that.’

I take a few deep breaths before getting up. She doesn’t give me a second more and tries to hit me. I manage to duck it, grab her arm and dislocate her shoulder.  
She screams in surprise. I kick her away. I don’t have long, I know that. She heals incredibly quick.  
She growls as she swings the baton at me. I duck and kick her knee. She hits me with the baton and we both go down.  
‘You’re not using your sword,’ she sighs under her breath. She gets up already and so do I. ‘Use it.’  
She comes running towards me. I kick her away. ‘I can actually kill you with this, you know. I don’t want to use it unless it’s for defense.’ I rub away some blood from my forehead.  
‘Bullshit.’  
‘No.’  
She looks at me. ‘You’re weak,’ she sneers. ‘Not willing to wound me.’  
‘You and the others might be willing to attack each other. Kill each other. But I’m not like that. Now If you’ll excuse me. I’ll be going back to the dummy.’  
‘Weak,’ she mumbles again, as she watches me turn around and walk away. ‘Father won’t like it.’  
‘He might not. But who are we to judge what he does and does not like.’ I look at her. She knows I’m not actually saying what I’m saying. I’m telling her father has no business judging us, instead of us judging him. He can’t judge us. He shouldn’t. Except he does.  
She turns around and walks away.  
I look at my hands. They’re slightly shaking. I can still feel the electricity go through my body. If she would’ve had the chance to put her baton on me longer, it would’ve been harder to get up. I clench my hands to fists.  
I’m so tired of this all. I _need_ to get out of here.


	15. A turn of events

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wound description

The corridors are empty and cold. It’s always cold in fathers palace, but at night it seems to be even worse. Especially now that the weather has taken a turn for the worse. It’s raining a lot. Sometimes the weather here gets so bad, we can’t go outside for days. It’s dreadful inside at times like this. Father is very grumpy, because people can’t deliver the supplies on time. We’re lucky Jolsa has enough in storage, because if the food becomes scarce, he would be unbearable. She’s very stressed though. This weather can go on for weeks at a time. She could run low eventually.  
I get to the walk-in fridge and get the tray I prepared for Loki. Only left-overs, like always. There wasn’t much left, but at least I managed to salvage him something. I put the tray on the counter to close off the door. I get out a pan and put it on a fire. Lately I’ve been warming up his food. He just had his daily torment. After two weeks of solitude, they began to torture him again. It has been going on for three days now and they already broke his arm, his nose, his toes and one of his thumbs. His face is swollen and his lungs have been stung with needles again. Nebula was allowed to join in on the torture today. So he has been electrocuted a few times. He’s really struggling. Father wants him in solitude for two months after he finished his two weeks of torture. He ordered Nebula to give him his lunch at daytime. She gives him an hour to eat and drink, before she retrieves it all. Father told her to force it down his throat if he doesn’t eat or drink for more than two days in a row.  
I take the food off the fire and put it back on the plate.

‘Were you still hungry?’ I almost drop the plate.  
‘I- Y-Yes,’ I say, surprised to see Jolsa. She never goes to the kitchen at night.  
She walks towards me. ‘You could have told me bowska,’ she says. ‘I would put more aside.’ She looks like she pities me.  
‘Oh, I could never ask such thing,’ I say softly. ‘I put something aside myself.’  
She looks at the plate. It isn’t much. I didn’t want to take too much, because the left-over food goes to the servants now. They too have trouble getting supplies, they can barely make it home. So Jolsa divides the left-overs. I normally wouldn’t have taken any of it for myself, of course. But now I did.  
‘How long have you been doing this for, bowska?’ she asks. She takes the frying pan and puts it in the sink.  
‘Not that long.’  
She turns to me. ‘The truth?’  
I bite my lower lip. I’m a terrible liar. “Not that long” I can sell, because in comparison to my three and a half year of residence here, four months and two weeks isn’t that long. ‘A while now.’  
She sighs. She can’t force me to tell her how long I’ve been “stealing” food. ‘They will find out, bowska,’ she says. She takes my hands. ‘You cannot give him food without them finding out.’ I feel paralyzed. ‘You think me blind, my bowska?’  
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about Jolsa,’ I whisper.  
‘You always in the clouds with your head. You have been for a while now. I notice.’ She smiles kindly, but very shortly. ‘But if I do, so do others.’ She’s looking very worried. My chest tightens. ‘You must stop.’ I shake my head. ‘Please bowska, he will find out.’  
‘I can’t,’ I whisper to her. I should’ve stopped when I still could, but I can’t get myself to do such thing anymore.  
‘You love him?’  
I swallow. ‘Who?’ I ask softly. I need to be careful. She might just be talking about someone else. She might not know everything. She might just me fishing for information. I trust her, but I do not trust my siblings. What if they force her to do this. She will probably try to warn me if they do, she’s smart like that, so I should be very alert.  
‘The prisoner,’ she says softly. ‘The man with the long hair.’ She shakes her head. Her hair jingle as she does so. ‘Your sister was asking questions before she left. She mentioned him. She said she found you on your way to the kitchen with a tray. Said you didn’t come from upstairs. She asked questions. She was suspicious.’  
I look down. This is her warning me, but not about her being forced to ask me questions, but for my siblings, who might know more than I realize.  
‘I can’t simply stop,’ I whisper.  
‘You love him.’ It’s a statement this time. She takes a deep breath. ‘When storm is over, I get new supply. Good friend of mine is involved. I will speak to him. He will get you out of here.’  
I look up in surprise. ‘What?’ I can’t believe my ears. I never expected Jolsa to offer such thing and I never thought about asking her. I’d trust her with my life, but I never expected her to go against father like this. For her to offer me such thing means the world to me.  
She squeezes my hands. ‘Bowska, you are not happy here. You are not safe here. You should leave. I know you have thought about such things before. I will help you and your friend.’  
‘Are you serious?’ I whisper. I pull her towards me and push my cheek against hers. I know this is the way they thank people on her planet. I read about it.  
She sighs in relieve.

I go down to the dungeon. I can hear Loki from the moment I get down the stairs. His breathing is bad, but it has gotten better since last night.  
I walk up to his cell and open it. I took a bucket of water with me, to clean him up again. I put it down and kneel before him. ‘Loki,’ I whisper. His “good” eye opens a bit. They are both swollen. He can’t open one of them because of it. I take the cloth and softly start cleaning his face. He moans. It sounds soft, but he’s clearly in a lot of pain. He still tries to hide his pain for me, as good as he possibly can. ‘I’m sorry,’ I whisper. I slide on behind his back and make him lean against me. I myself lean against the wall with my back. He seems to be much more comfortable now. I drip some water on his face. ‘You’ll get through this,’ I whisper our mantra. He’s gotten used to it. ‘You are strong. You are smart. You are initiative.’ I place a kiss on top of his head. ‘I’ll get us out of here.’ He moves slightly, noticing the change in my words. ‘I’ll get us out of here,’ I whisper again. I place a kiss on top of his head. ‘I might already have.’ He looks up, for as far as he can. I smile slyly. ‘Don’t move too much,’ I whisper. ‘You’ll hurt yourself.’ I put a small kiss on top of his nose. It has healed nicely in the last few days. He lets out a soft, unrecognizable noise. He leans more against me. I’m not sure if he feels defeated or relieved, but that doesn’t matter. If everything goes right, we will leave soon.


	16. Feverish hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexual tention, sexual flirtation

I gently clean Loki’s face. He isn’t in such a bad shape today. They started the beating this morning, but then father got some news, which made him disregard any further torments for the rest of the day.  
For the first time in a week, he is able to breathe fine and to actually talk and move without too much pain. His eyes are still a bit swollen, but at least he can see. ‘Will you ever stop staring?’ He grins and moves along as I take off his shirt. He has a few cuts and a lot of bruises, but he doesn’t seem to bothered by them. Luckily he heals quick. Not as fast as I do, but faster than most. I clean out his wounds by dripping water on them and take a closer look at one of his wounds. A few days ago I was afraid it would get infected, but it seems to have healed nicely. My fingers strike the skin around it. His muscles tenses. ‘Does it still hurt?’  
‘No, I’m okay,’ he says lightly. I look up at him. He’s still staring.  
‘Good,’ I tell him.  
As soon as his upper body is all cleaned up, I undo his pants. He suddenly grabs my hands. I startle a bit. He brings my hands to his face and kisses them gently. I feel my cheeks burn. He has never done such thing before. He squeezes my hands and I look up.  
‘Tell me,’ he says softly. ‘You said you might have found us a way out?’  
‘Yes,’ I answer. ‘Well, I didn’t find it as much as it found me.’ He frowns. ‘A good friend of mine. She offered to help us.’  
‘You told her?’  
‘No.’ I shake my head.  
‘Then should we trust her?’  
‘Yes. Though I’m not sure if she’ll manage to get it done. It’s quite hard to get anyone to betray father. She’ll do her best though.’ I lean forward and give him a soft kiss. His grip on my hands loosens. I pull them out of his hands and lean back.  
‘When will we know?’ He asks, his eyes still closed.  
‘As soon as the storm lays down,’ I tell him. I continue to undo his pants. I know Nebula hit his legs with her baton a few times. So he might have some nasty burn wounds on them. He grabs my hands once again. I look up. ‘Loki?’  
‘Just- How- how long will the storm take to lay down?’ His voice sounds strange.  
I move slightly and look straight at him. ‘Loki,’ I say. ‘You have a boner, don’t you?’  
He opens his eyes. His cheeks turn slightly red. ‘What if I do?’  
‘You’ve had one before,’ I say. ‘Did you think I didn’t notice?’ It’s been a while, but it isn’t like it never happened before. He had one the first time he tried to seduce me, he had one when he thought I was a dream and he had one a few days before they started to torture him again, when I we were just cuddling a bit. He stays quiet. ‘Loki, you’re not the first man to get aroused by me.’

I take down his pants. This time he lets me. He’s just staring at me, like he always does. I turn to take the cloth out of the bucket. He suddenly pushes me back, down against the ground. My legs are pressed under my body, in an uncomfortable position. He holds my wrists firmly against the ground and brings his face close to mine. I feel his breath against my skin.  
‘Loki.’ I try to free myself from his grip, but he only pushes down on me harder.  
‘You mean to tell me,’ he whispers in my ear. ‘Another man has touched you before.’ His lips caress my jaw. I get goosebumps.  
‘Loki,’ I whisper. I can barely breath. I’m feeling incredibly uncomfortable. My knees burn due to the position he has forced me into.  
‘Answer me,’ he pushes down harder, making sure I can feel his erection press against my thighs. My knees moan in pain.  
‘No- Not that I know of.’ I can barely get a word out.  
He looks up at me. ‘Good,’ he says. His lips go down to my chest. ‘Because I’m a very jealous man.’ He brings his face back up and presses his lips onto mine. He makes it a short, but passionate kiss.  
The pressure slightly lifts. He slips his hand between my lower back and legs and, in a swift motion, moves my legs away underneath my body.  
‘Loki,’ I manage to say underneath my heavy breathing. He looks at me and bows towards my neck. He gives me no room for movement. His body’s pressing down quite firmly. I can’t help but feel aroused. ‘Loki.’ I grab a handful of hair and slightly pull. He moans. Shit, don’t moan, not like that. He bites my neck. I let out a little squeak in surprise.  
He pushes himself up and looks down at me. He bows towards me and caresses my neck with his lips. ‘If you were any other girl,’ he mumbles underneath his breath, as his lips go down to my collarbone. ‘Maybe.’ I try to focus, on anything but his touch. ‘Shit,’ he whispers. Does he know I can hear him? Maybe he thinks he’s speaking soft enough. He pushes himself back up and looks at me. His cheeks are flushed and his breathing is fast. His eyes move over my face, as if he’s looking for something. He kisses me once more, much softer, though not less passionate. Then he suddenly gets off me.  
I sit up in surprise and look at him. He’s leaning against the wall. Why did he stop? I didn’t tell him to, like the last time. He’s looking at the roof.  
‘Loki-‘  
‘Shhh.’ I stay quiet and look at him. He’s breathing fast. I never actually realized how muscular he is. He isn’t noticeable muscular, until you actually get a good look at him. Or maybe he got more muscular in the few months he spend in here. I don’t know what he does in his spare time.

He wraps his arms around me and pushes his face against my shoulder. ‘Shouldn’t you get dressed? It’s really cold.’  
‘Hmm, I’m okay,’ he mumbles.  
‘But-‘  
‘Really, don’t worry.’ He plays with my fingers. ‘Are you? I’m sorry I did- This. Again.’  
I look up at him. ‘You mean…’ I look at him and think back to him pushing me down. ‘Don’t worry about it,’ I tell him. He looks at me. ‘So- Eh- Your last question was- How long will it take for the storm to lay down?’  
‘You actually remembered that question?’  
‘Of course I did.’ I had to dug deep to remember, but I do. He mumbles something I can’t hear. ‘It can take weeks. We’re never sure.’  
‘Weeks?’  
‘Yeah, it’s been going on for six days already.’ I look at him. ‘Meanwhile, no-one can go anywhere.’ I look at him. ‘You should eat.’ I reach out to his plate, to get it for him. ‘It’s probably cold now.’ I’ve been warming up his food for about a week now.  
‘Pandora?’ I look up. His eyes go over my face.  
‘Yes?’ I ask, because he keeps quiet.  
He shakes his head. ‘Never mind.’ He starts eating.  
‘You know you can tell me anything, right?’ He just nods. I look at him and decide not to pursued him to tell me. I lean against him and watch him eat.  
‘You’re staring again,’ he says, grinning.  
‘Do you have a problem with it?’ I ask.  
‘Well, I feel a little exposed,’ he says. ‘I’m half naked here.’ He smiles mischievous. He takes another bite.  
‘Well, I asked if you shouldn’t put on some clothes.’ I put a kiss on his cheek. His smile disappears. ‘What is it?’ I ask.  
‘Nothing.’ He gives me a kiss.  
‘Loki, you can tell me.’ He ignores me and puts another bite into his mouth. I sigh and push my head against his shoulder. I take a few deep breaths. He smells nice. Not clean, like soap or anything. Not dirty either. Just, nice.

I wake up after a few hours. I’m all cuddled up against Loki. My head is on his chest, my arm over his body and even my leg is slightly on his. He has his arms around me. I must’ve fallen asleep again. He’s holding me tight, even though he’s sleeping. He’s still barely dressed. I look at his pale skin. He almost seems blue. I’ve seen this blue-ish color on him before. Maybe he’s cold. My fingers glide over his skin. He doesn’t feel cold. He makes a soft noise. I look up at him, but he’s still asleep.  
I should leave. I’m not sure for how long I’ve been here, but nonetheless, I can’t stay longer.  
I start freeing myself from his grip, quite a struggle, as it turns out.  
After I finally freed myself, I grab the tray and bucket and leave as quietly as possible. I don’t want to wake him. I look back, just before closing off the cell door.  
‘I’ll see you soon,’ I whisper.


	17. Cold as ice

‘Tomorrow morning,’ Jolsa whispers me. ‘At three. Meet me here with your friend.’ She takes off before I can even answer. My heart is beating so fast I can swear it’ll bounce right out my chest. She managed to get us a ride out of here, it can’t be anything else. Otherwise she wouldn’t have asked me to bring along Loki. The storm laid down last night. I hadn’t noticed before, because I was with Loki. Jolsa got new supplies this morning and so did father. Which means he will probably be in as good of a mood as I am.  
Nebula comes walking in and looks at me from head to toe. ‘You look happy,’ she states.  
‘I do, because I am.’ I smile. Jolsa puts a plate with gunk on the counter. ‘Shall I bring it too our guest?’ I propose.  
She squints. ‘What’s in it for you?’  
‘Well, I was hoping you might give me a hand today?’  
‘Not interested.’ She grabs the plate.  
‘I need someone to practice with. You know, with my sword and all.’ I practiced for a couple of weeks now, but I never actually had someone to practice with.  
She immediately stands still. She turns around. ‘You want me to fight you?’  
‘For practice,’ I repeat.  
‘Will you wound me?’  
‘I might. You might wound me. Just remember it’s practice, so try not to stab me to death.’ I take the plate out of her hands and grab a spoon and a bowl of water.  
She watches me as I leave the kitchen. 

I open up his cell and get in. He’s already awake, but still seems sleepy. He has his clothes off. ‘You should get dressed,’ I tell him and put down the food.  
‘What are you doing here?’  
‘Told Nebula I’d bring you your food.’ I smile at him.  
‘You did?’ He smiles back.  
‘Yeah, I do have to fight her this afternoon.’ I bow forward and give him a kiss. ‘But on a good note, we’re getting out of here tonight.’  
He almost drops his plate. ‘We are?’ I nod. He smiles widely. ‘Are you sure?’ I nod again.  
‘So make sure you’re ready.’  
‘How much more ready can I be?’ I chuckle. He takes my hand and pulls it a bit. It’s his way of asking for another kiss. I bow forward once again and place a soft kiss on his lips.  
‘Tonight,’ I whisper. I turn around and leave. I can’t stay any longer. I have to act the same way Nebula did: Leave him his food and come back later to remove everything again. 

I walk up to my room and start packing a few things. I don’t need to bring along a lot. I don’t even have a lot. I always carry my knifes, I have some spare clothes and I have the book I bought. It’s quite interesting. It’s about the universe and the different theories about the creation of life. I put it, together with two of my dresses, in my pillowcase. I don’t really have a bag, so I’ll just put it in with my pillow and take that along too. It’ll be well hidden until we actually leave.  
There’s a knock on my door. I walk up to it and open it. ‘Ebony?’ I say in surprise.  
‘Father wants to talk to you.’ He starts walking. I quickly close off my door and follow him.  
He leads me to the great hall. Father is sitting in his usual spot, Nebula beside him. I see Loki chained, as usual, and hold in his spot by Corvus.  
‘Father, you asked for me?’ I look up at him.  
‘Pandora.’ He looks at me. There’s a look in his eyes I can’t quite place. Ebony reaches out from behind me and grabs my knives. I grab his hands. He kicks my leg and suddenly Nebula kicks my knee in the other direction. She kicks it so hard, it twists and I fall onto it. ‘You’ve disappointed me,’ father says.  
‘Father?’ I ask.  
‘Nebula followed you. She found it suspicious you wanted to give our guest…’ He looks over at Loki and so do I. ‘…his food.’ He gets up from his chair and walks towards me. ‘Gamora already told me you were doing something secretive. I asked her to keep an eye on you. She couldn’t tell me what you were doing, before she left. But Nebula found out your plan.’  
I look up. ‘Father, I don’t know what she has told you.’ I don’t, I truly don’t know what she told him. Ebony grabs my arms and holds them tight against my back. I try to free myself, but Nebula hits me in the face. Before I realize what she did, she does it again, and again, and again.  
Then it stops. ‘Now, I am willing to forgive, if you will tell me who was planning on getting you out of here,’ father says. I shake my head. He won’t forgive. He’ll just toss me in one of his cells, let me rot there for all eternity. I won’t give up Jolsa, just because he makes loose promises.  
Nebula starts hitting me again. I just let her. I can’t stop her. I can’t get out of here and I can’t keep fighting. Even if I would manage to get loose, there was no way to go.  
I spit out some blood, straight into her face. She growls and kicks me in the stomach. I moan softly.  
‘You better confess, sister,’ she sneers. Ebony forces my hand to move forward. He’s still holding them both firmly. Nebula takes my fingers. I stay completely quiet, knowing all too well what will happen next. ‘No?’ She looks at me and then up to father. He barely reacts, but it’s enough to give her confirmation. In a quick movement, she breaks all my fingers. I scream in pain. Tears start welling up and I for a moment, I can’t hear anything but my own scream. Then Nebula pulls me back. She grabs my head and kicks her knee against it. I’m numb for a moment, then the pain comes back. I open my eyes, just to see her fist coming straight towards it. I hear ringing. Loki’s chains. He’s moving. He knows he can’t do anything. Everything would make things worse. He should just keep strong, watch and wait, just like I have done with him. 

Nebula uses one of my knives. I know, because they feel cold against my skin. Not the normal, metal cold, but more soul-devouring. She lets its blade go over my body, without cutting. She brings it to my chest and pierces it straight through, to my lung. I gasp. She doesn’t pull it out. She knows it’ll heal if she pulls it out. So she leaves it in and lets my lung slowly fill up with blood. I try to breath calmly, I try to control myself, but it hurts terribly. I close my eyes and try to focus on my surroundings. Nebula is taking the second knife and is trying to decide where to stick it. Ebony is holding my wrists, pushing them together. Father isn’t that far away, but maybe, with some luck I can convince him. Maybe if I manage to fight off my brother and sister, he’ll think I’m not that bad. I start to focus on Ebony. He is moving his nose from side to side, must have an itch. He squeezes a little more as I start hanging forwards with my body. He pulls me back and lets me lean against his legs for a moment. After that I sit back up. I have a hard time breathing. It’s almost like Nebula is the one pushing my head underwater this time. Ebony moves his head to the side. He pulls up his shoulder a bit and rubs the side of his nose against it to get rid of the itch.  
I pull my hands downwards hard and sudden enough for them to slip out of his grip. I quickly move my leg back and kick away his feet. He falls down and I roll to the side. Nebula is already on me. She throws the knife, which I dodge. Then she runs up to me. I pull the knife out of my chest and pretend I’m going to throw it to her. She ducks and as she does so, I actually throw it. I hit her in the shoulder.  
She growls in frustration. She looks at it and takes it out, but I’m already in front of her. I kick her knee, grab her arm, and turn it to her back. I force the knife out of her hand and throw it to Ebony, who is now running towards us. He manages to dodge it. I bite down on my teeth, turn and sweep Nebula through the air, throwing her against Ebony. I locate my knives, to gather them again, but before I can even run, father grabs me by the throat. He forces all of the air out of the one good lung. The other is still filled with blood. Blood I’ll probably need to cough up. I struggle, trying desperately to break loose. He only holds on tighter. I can feel my neck moan. It won’t take much more before he breaks it.  
‘Stop! Stop!’ Father looks at Loki, who spoke up. Loki is looking at me. I can’t tell him to stop, not even with my eyes. I’m way to busy suffocating. He walks towards us, as far as Corvus allows him to.  
Father lets me go. I fall down onto the ground. I start gasping for air. ‘Nebula. Tie her up.’ 

It doesn’t take long before I’m tied up between two pillars. The chains are covered with magic, just like the once they use on Loki. They are made for people like us. People to strong or dangerous to use the normal chains on. The chains completely paralyze my hands. Which makes it impossible to escape.  
Loki is looking at me. He is forced to look at me. They strung me up between the pillars and started torturing me. In a way, it must be meant as torture to Loki too. Nebula and Ebony took the entire silverware collection from the kitchen and are using them on me. There are knives sticking out of my body, they ramped up forks under my fingernails. Even though I can’t move my fingers, I can still feel them. They kicked me, hit me, electrocuted me. Now and then I can hear Loki scream something. Just now and then. He’s trying to keep strong, so am I.  
Jolsa comes walking up. She’s holding a large and steaming pan. ‘S-sir,’ she says. She’s looking at me, I know she is.  
‘Give it to Ebony,’ he says. Ebony walks up to her and takes over the large pan.  
‘What’s that,’ Loki says. He’s shaking. ‘What is that.’ He knows what it is, it’s the chemical mixture they threw over him before.  
Nebula smiles cruelly, while lifting up my head and forcing me to look at Loki. ‘Let’s just give it a test drive first.’ She walks up to father. He hands her his beaker without her even asking for it. She scoops up some of the chemical mixture, making sure it doesn’t touch her skin. It’s a terrible thing. Even without open wounds it can burn the skin badly. I can smell the sour from here. She walks up towards me and pours it over one of my legs. I can’t help but scream. The pain is agonizing. Not only does it feel like I’m being stung my hundreds of red wasps, but it also burns into my flesh, to the bone. I cringe up and cry it out. My dress covers up most off the burns, but my foot will show. It’ll show the pain the rest of my body is being put through.

By the time I’m finally able to focus on anything but the pain, Ebony is walking towards me with the large pan. ‘This might hurt a bit,’ Nebula says. She smiles widely, before stepping aside.  
‘Stop! Stop!’ Ebony lifts up the pan, ignoring Loki’s cries. ‘Please!’ Loki screams. ‘Please, please, please don’t. Don’t do it. Don’t hurt her. Please stop.’  
‘Loki,’ I force out of my mouth. My voice is all messed up due to the screaming. He looks up at me. There are tears dripping down his face.  
‘Please,’ he says again. ‘Just- Don’t- Hurt her.’  
Ebony isn’t moving an inch. Father must’ve told him to. ‘I won’t, neither will my children, but I need something in return,’ father says.  
‘Anything,’ Loki says. He bows down his head.  
‘You know what I want.’ Father lifts himself up from his chair.  
‘If I do,’ he says. ‘Will you let her go.’  
‘I will. If you do as I ask and succeed, I will let her go and you are free to take her.’ Father walks towards him. ‘You can take her anywhere you like. You may even pick out a planet to live on and rule for all I care.’  
‘If I do what you want?’ Loki asks.  
‘Loki.’ I try to get his attention, but I can barely speak loud enough.  
‘And if you succeed in it.’ Although father is a man of his word, usually, I can’t imagine him keeping this promise. He would never allow Loki to rule any world, which means he’s lying.  
‘Loki.’  
‘I’ll do it,’ Loki says. Father snaps his fingers. Nebula hurries away. She leaves into the side room, one father uses for his private meetings. She comes back with a scepter. Her knuckles are white. She seems more gloom and angry. She hands it over to father, which seems to give her some relieve. The scepter is a strange looking thing. It has two pointy ends, one short and one long, but they both slightly curl towards each other. Almost like a parent and child bowing to one-another. In the small, almost round part in-between them, there’s a glowing stone. I’ve seen it many times before, but somehow it still pains me to see them use it.  
‘Loki,’ I try once again. He doesn’t hear me. He might just be ignoring me, knowing I will try to talk him out of it. If only I could talk that much.  
‘You keep your word on me, Thanos.’ Loki looks up at him. ‘Don’t you dare break it.’  
Father smiles, a joyless smile. ‘Don’t you worry about that.’ He moves the pointy end of the scepter towards Loki’s chest. As soon as it touches him, Loki gasps for air. His veins turn dark blue. For a moment, his whole appearance seems to shake. His skin turns blue. Engravings appear on his skin. His eyes seem to glow red, but just for a moment. Then his eyes go bright blue, as blue as the stone. Father removes the scepter. Loki’s skin turns back to normal and the brightness of his eyes softens. If I didn’t know any better, I would simply think he has blue eyes. But he doesn’t. His eyes are green. Lighter and brighter than the green of his clothes.  
‘Uncuff him. Bring her to her cell,’ father orders. Loki glances over at me. He still seems desperate, but he doesn’t seem like himself. ‘Don’t worry about her. We will take care of her until you’ve fulfilled your duty.’ Corvus takes off Loki’s cuffs. Loki doesn’t fight, he doesn’t react at all. Nebula and Ebony start pulling me along. I can barely walk. I know I’ll fall down the stairs if they force me to take them.  
‘Now, come along,’ father tells Loki, from behind me. I’m not sure what he got himself into, but he shouldn’t have done it.


	18. The uncountable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wound description, background information, mild torture

‘You are pathetic. Weak.’ Nebula strings me up against the wall. They left the knives in my body. Most other wounds have already healed. ‘Falling for him. I should have known.’ She grabs my face and forces me too look up at her. ‘You’ve always had too much emotions.’  
‘And you have too little,’ I mumble. Her emotions mostly exist out of anger. She lets go of my face and hits me. Then she turns around and leaves.  
I still have a hard time breathing. I managed to cough up some of the blood, but I still feel like I’m drowning. I can hear the blood rattle when I breath.  
I try standing on my legs, but the knife in my knee makes it difficult, so I just hang and rely on the chains that are holding up my arms.  
I close my eyes and listen to the silence surrounding me. They gave me an isolation cell. I can’t hear anything from outside. I probably won’t see anyone for a few days, until they can’t do anything but feed me. They won’t let me die, but they won’t give me much to live on either.  
I start coughing again. It hurts to the bone. Literally, because every time my diaphragm moves, knives hit my ribs. My knives, the one made out of black steel, are placed between my shoulder blades. Nebula laughed while doing it, saying they were like cut-off wings. I wasn’t the angel father thought I was and now it was for everyone to see.  
They managed to break Loki. Otherwise the scepter wouldn’t have worked. Loki isn’t the first father tried it on. He’s the fifth, actually. The first three died as soon as the scepter touched their chest, they burned up and fell apart. The fourth was one with a willing mind, but too weak to do as father wished. Loki is the fifth. He’s the first father deems worthy, probably because he kept on going so long. Loki’s the first who had an entire change of appearance. I’ve never seen such thing. Father never told me what the scepter exactly does, nor what he needs the sorcerers for. He just told me the scepter is a strong piece, which we should never touch, nor use without his permission. It does things to our minds, to everyone who touches it or uses it. I’m not sure what it is, but ever since I saw the thing, I found it strangely familiar. Not the scepter itself, but the effect it has and the way it feels.

I open my eyes when the door opens. Ebony enters. He’s probably the one person who is most like me. He enjoys the quiet, he enjoys reading a book now and then and he can be reasoned with. I watch him getting close. ‘You really messed up,’ he says. He bows down and rips the knives from my knees. ‘There. Now you can stand at least.’ He looks at me. ‘I really had high hopes for you. You aren’t as savage as the others. You are smart. I thought you were smart.’ He sniffs. ‘I guess I was wrong.’  
He turns around to leave. ‘Ebony,’ I say. I can barely hear myself over the rattling blood. ‘Remember that servant. Hilde?’ He stands still and doesn’t give any response. ‘She’s still alive.’ He turns around. He knows I’m a bad liar, but I’m not lying. ‘I know, father told you otherwise. He wanted you to forget about her. But just remember her when you think about me.’ I feel the wounds on my knees burn. ‘And remember me when you think of her.’ He turns around and closes the door with a hard jam.

The door opens. I open my eyes. I’m not sure how long I have been here for. Can be days. I don’t have a window or anything else to give me an indication. It surely has been long.  
Nebula comes in. She’s carrying a plate. She scuffs when she sees me standing. She clearly disapproves Ebony’s decision to take the knives out of my knees.  
She takes the spoon and starts feeding me the gray goo. I have trouble swallowing the first bite. It tastes terrible, like dirt and slug slime. It sticks to my palate. I feel like throwing up, but swallow nonetheless. I can’t afford not to eat. It might be the most awful thing I’ve ever eaten, but at least it will keep my strength up. She pours the water in my mouth, which I gratefully drink to get the taste out of my mouth.  
She doesn’t say a word. She simply turns around and leaves after feeding me. She really listens to fathers isolation-rule. No talking to the guests that are in isolation. I guess that’s what I am now, a guest.

Thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven. It’s been 34 hours, 46 minutes and thirty-eight, thirty-nine, forty… seconds since I start counting the time. Which must have been about three hours after my first meal. I’m really tired. I’m sure I’ll have to stop counting at one moment. Maybe I’ll only count the moments I’m awake, just to have an idea about how long I’ve been here. I close my eyes. Fifty-eight, fifty-nine, sixty. 34 hours, 47 minutes, three, four, five, six…

I wake up dizzy. I look around, trying to figure out where I am. I must have fallen asleep. I feel very drowsy and limp. I can barely keep my head up. I can’t even see clear. I’m not sure why I woke up. Maybe someone entered my cell? I can’t tell. It’s too dark. It always has been this way, but normally I can see quite good in the dark.  
I can’t feel the pain anymore. I’ve been sleeping a lot lately, so maybe they pulled out the knives while I was asleep. I try to move, but I can’t bring myself to it. I close my eyes, I can’t see anything anyway. I take a deep breath and listen to the blood in my lungs. I’ve gotten used to this constant state of drowning. I still cough up blood when I’m awake. I’m not sure how long I’ve been here for. I’ve stopped counting after 298 hours. So it’s been at least two weeks.  
I wonder what Loki’s doing. Is he thinking about me? Did he already finish his job and is he back in his cell? Maybe father will keep his word. He probably won’t, but it might be the only thing to keep me from giving up. I’ve only been here for so long and I’m already feeling like giving up. How did Loki manage to keep going?  
I take a deep breath, a stupid mistake which makes me cough immediately. Blood fills my mouth and spills out my mouth. It drips down my chin.  
I cough up more, until it finally stops.  
I let down my head. I’m doomed. I’m absolutely doomed. I won’t die, I’m pretty sure about that, because if I could, I would have done so multiple times, starting with the whole event that brought me here in the first place. I might die of old age, but that would mean I’d have to be here for years and years to come. Maybe I can starve to death. I should definitely keep that in mind. Only thinking about food makes my belly rumble. How long has it been since my last meal? I’m not sure.  
If I were to get out of here, one of the first things I would do, would be to get something to eat. I would ask Jolsa to make me one of my favorites. If I would have time to talk to her. She taught me some cooking skills, so I would be able to make it myself. She makes it much better, of course, but I can’t put her in jeopardy when I flee. Maybe she can come along with me and Loki. That might be nice. Loki will like her, I’m sure of that. We can bring her to Viljars, so she can see her family again. She hasn’t seen them in ages. She told me she came to work for a space crew, years ago. They were some people that traveled around, delivering things. She actually was their cook. Then they were attacked by father and his men. They spared her, so she could make them dinner. Father liked her cooking and decided to take her along, so she could work for him. She gets a fair wage, she told me, she isn’t displeased, but she does miss her family.  
After that we will go to Loki’s planet. He could introduce me to his parents- his, adoptive parents. Maybe I could meet his brother. He doesn’t have to prove anything to them anymore, because they will be too happy to see him alive. He told me they think he’s dead. We will get our own place, some place nice. We could travel, like he promised. We could go everywhere, see everything. Maybe find out more about me. Maybe not. Would it really be that bad if we didn’t find out anything? I don’t think I mind anymore. I can enjoy myself with Loki and start up a new life. Something better than what I have here. That wouldn’t be too hard to achieve. That would be nice.


	19. Merciless mercy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Torture, humiliation

I scream at the top of my lungs. They burn from the cold air. I guess he finally decided to torture me. I’m stripped down naked, my arms strung between two pillars. Corvus is whipping my back. Most of the knives have been removed, except for the once between my shoulders. My own knives. They removed the knives a few days ago, gave me some time to recover and then started their torture. It’s humiliating. It’s cold. It’s heartless.  
I force myself to open my eyes and look at father. One day I will kill him. I will take one of my knives and pierce it though his heart. I will break him down the way he breaks everyone. He will be nothing but ashes underneath my feet.  
The whip hits my back once again. I can feel the flesh ripping open and scream again. It’s healed before the whip hits again. It forces out another scream. I shouldn’t let it get to me, but it does. Corvus knows exactly where to hit. He knows exactly which spots hurt the most.  
Father seems amused. I hate him. I hate the way he thinks he’s better than everyone, the way it pleases him to hurt someone, the way he forces people to do things for him, the way he grins when he thinks he’s got the overhand.  
The whip hits again and I force back my scream by pinching my teeth together.  
I have never, ever hated anyone as much as I hate him. Even people I can’t remember can’t be worse than him. He’s not one worthy of living.

I am thrown in my cell. My back hits the ground and squeak in pain as the knives get pushed deeper. They do take a moment to tie my chains back to the wall, but they leave quickly. Even Corvus and Ebony feel uncomfortable. I’m naked. They’ve never seen me naked before. I cuddle up to myself and try to shield my body from the cold. At least they didn’t force me to hang on the wall again. I can’t feel the wounds of the whipping anymore, there’s nothing left, not even pain. I focus on my breath. There is barely any blood left in my lungs. Coughing will only give me the irony taste of it in my mouth, but nothing more.  
I close my eyes. They will leave me be, at least for the rest of the day. Maybe they’ll start again tomorrow. I’m only hoping they will let me wear clothes again.

Ebony walks in with a tray. I rub my eyes and blink a few times. He puts down the tray in front of me. ‘Thank you,’ I say. He looks up at me. He takes a deep breath and pulls a face. Then he walks away. I take the tray and shove it closer. There’s a glass of water on it and a plate. I start eating. It’s still disgusting, but I’ve gotten used to it. It’s not that bad when you drink the water afterwards. Then at least there won’t be an aftertaste.  
I startle when the door opens again. I grab the plate, to make sure he doesn’t take it away. I’ve seen them do it to other prisoners before.  
He puts down a bucket with water and throws a cloth in it and a towel beside me. ‘You stink. Clean yourself.’ He looks at me. He can’t be nice to me, but I know this is his way of helping me.  
‘Thank you,’ I whisper. He ignores me and leaves. I know I have a couple of hours to get myself cleaned up and eat my diner. I start eating slower. I take my time swallowing spoons filled with goo.

I force my body into the most painful angles and eventually manage to get it out. I put it down and sigh in relieve. It takes me more time healing when it comes to these knives. Corvus once told me they were made to drain energy. We found out after it took Nebula longer to heal too. When my wounds are healed, I might be able to get the other one out as well. I can’t really do anything with them. I might hide them, but I wouldn’t know where. It would just be nice to be able to move without too much pain.  
I take the bottle and swallow down some more water. I put it down and take the cloth to wash myself. The water is cold. Even colder than my own body. I spill some down my back, trying to clean out the wound. I can’t reach it that easily and I might only make it worse.  
But it’s worth trying. I wash up as good as possible. I’ve felt disgusting for months, but eventually I barely cared anymore. It feels so nice to finally get cleaned up again. Actually cleaned up, not hosed down.  
I had no idea how bad it was to be one of father guests. Of course, I knew it was bad, but I never thought it was this bad. When I’m all cleaned up, I start looking for a hiding spot. There isn’t much in the room. It’s like Loki’s: carved out of grey stone. Except mine is closed off with magic in a different way. I look around. If I were able to use magic, it wouldn’t be that hard to hide the knife away. I could use it to put up enchantments. I did so when hiding my things in my pillowcase. They probably haven’t even found out I did. Mostly because they have no idea that I can use magic. The pillow probably ended up with one of the servants, who won’t be able to sleep well, but can’t find out why. I’m not as good as Loki, or even any of the others father used to torture, but I do know some spells. I used to practice, using fathers books.  
I use the towel to dry myself of and wrap myself in it. At least it helps me to be less vulnerable. I stand up and start looking for a place to hide the knife.

The door opens. Ebony walks in. He looks over at me and sighs. ‘You can’t keep the towel.’  
‘Please?’  
‘Pandora-‘  
‘I beg of you.’ I kneel down and look up at him. ‘Please.’ I know he has a weak spot for me somewhere. He looks down at me. I take his hand. ‘Please.’ He looks at our hands. ‘Ebony,’ I whisper. He looks up at me. ‘Have mercy.’  
He strikes my hair with his free hand. ‘You know I can’t,’ he whispers. I bow my head in disappointment. He takes the towel and slowly takes it off. I let him, but only because I can’t stop him. I know why he can’t let me keep it, still, I was hoping he would. I let go of his hand. He takes everything and leaves.


	20. Secrets secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mild torture

‘Where did you leave it!’ Nebula hits my head against the wall. Someone finally noticed the knives are missing from my back. The wounds is all healed and there should be a light, practically unnoticeable scars on my back. These knives are the only once leaving scars. I keep quiet and let her hit my head against the wall.  
‘Nebula!’ Corvus pulls her away. I sink down the wall. My head hurts, but that should stop soon. ‘What are you doing!’  
‘She took out the knives.’  
Corvus looks over at me. I stare back. ‘Does she have them on her?’ he asks Nebula.  
‘Obviously not, she must have hidden them away.’  
‘Then who cares. We’ll find them later.’  
‘No!’ Nebula shouts. ‘I want those knives.’  
Corvus gets closer to her, intimidating her. ‘That’s not your decision. Now go and tell father you messed up. You’ve kept him waiting long enough.’  
Nebula looks at him in disbelieve, glances over at me, growls and leaves. I watch her go, so does Corvus. He takes the bucket of water and throws it over my head. I stay still and watch him, as he takes a cloth and starts cleaning my body without permission. He isn’t bothered by my nakedness anymore. I still feel uncomfortable, but not the way I used to. ‘Close your eyes,’ he orders. I do as he tells me, knowing he wants to rub the cloth in my face. After that he takes the towel and starts drying me off.  
‘Get up,’ he says. I do as he orders me. ‘Tell me where you put those knives.’  
I stare at him. ‘Why would I.’  
‘Because it’ll safe us a lot of trouble.’ He stares back, but isn’t able to make me blink. ‘Fine. We’ll find them anyway.’ He bows forward, takes the chains off the wall and nods towards the door. ‘Walk.’ I start walking. It’s been months since my last torture. Ebony brought me food and water now and then. I’m not sure how long it has been. I didn’t feel like counting anymore. All I know is that it has been long.

‘No.’ Corvus pulls the chains when I want to go to the door. ‘We’re not going that way.’ I frown. We’re not going to the great hall? ‘Up the stairs,’ he nods. I look at him. What is he planning on doing? ‘Come on, hurry up.’ He pulls again. I start walking.  
‘Where are we going?’  
‘Your room.’  
I look over my shoulder. ‘My room?’  
‘Yes. Your old room.’ He sounds hurried.  
I walk up the stairs. He now and then tells me where to go, even though I know perfectly well where my old room is. I just don’t know why we’re going there.

We enter my old room. A dress is laid out on the bed, shoes beside it. Other things like jewelry and a brush is put on the nightstand. ‘Get dressed, brush your teeth, your hair and put on the jewelry.’  
‘Why?’  
‘Don’t ask questions, just do as you’re told.’ I glance over at him, before walking up to the bed.  
I let my fingers feel the fabric of the dress. It’s nice, expensive. I glance over once again. ‘I can’t get dressed with my hands in chains.’  
He sighs, walks over and undoes the chains. I observe him. ‘Don’t try anything.’  
‘I won’t,’ I tell him. What’s going on? Did Loki come back? Is father keeping his word?  
I take the dress and put it on. It’s a nice, light blue dress, a bit uncovering. The top gets together in a gold piece, which almost seems like a necklace. It reaches the ground and feels nice against my skin. I walk towards the bathroom. Corvus follows. I watch him closely as I start brushing my teeth. He simply watches.  
‘Did he come back?’ I ask, after spitting.  
He doesn’t answer. I walk past him and enter my room again. I start brushing my hair.  
Why won’t he tell me? Just a simple yes or no would satisfy. I pretend to fall and feel my pillow. It’s still the same. I put a quick enchantment on it. I put on the jewelry and take the pillow along. Corvus doesn’t see. He doesn’t know I know any enchantments, nobody knows. They won’t even think about the fact that the pillow is missing. Not until it’s too late.  
‘Hands out.’ I do as he tells me. He puts handcuffs on. Enchanted once. I’m glad I already put the spell on the pillow. ‘Come on.’ He nods.  
‘Where to?’ I ask.  
‘Just walk.’ I start walking.

We end up in the storage. Father keeps his ships down here. Gamora’s ship is missing. ‘What are we doing here?’ I ask. Corvus ignores me.  
‘Stop,’ he eventually says, when we reach a cargo-ship. It’s a small one. One my siblings use to get some small shipments, or to bring them away. I feel smothered. He’s taking me away, but where to? He puts a code in the small screen and the floor starts moving. It expands, until we’re able to get to the platform his ship is on. He takes the chain between my hands and pulls me along.  
‘Where are we going?’ I ask. ‘Corvus?’  
He takes me in back and locks me up in the cell the ship has. I’m not the first living creature to be shipped in this ship. ‘Corvus!’ I’m not even sure he can hear me. He walks away.  
‘Corvus!’ I scream again. ‘Where are you taking me? Corvus! Answer me!’ I hit the yellow screen that is holding me in my place.  
‘Corvus!’


	21. Fool's craziness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slave trade, sorrow, introduction characters, flirting

I am sitting on the floor when he finally comes to get me. It’s been quite the long trip. I still have no idea where we’re going. Or rather where he brought me. I don’t think Loki came back. If he did, father didn’t keep his word.  
Corvus opens the cell and looks down at me. ‘Get up.’  
‘Where are we?’ I ask.  
‘Get up.’  
‘Why are we here.’  
‘Pandora, get up!’ He’s mad, but so am I.  
I slowly get up and swallow my pride. ‘Did he come back for me?’  
He blinks in surprise. ‘No. Did you really think he would?’ He grabs the chain between my cuffs and pulls me out of my cell.  
‘No,’ I whisper. I look down at my feet. He walks behind me and gives me a slight push, telling me to start walking. I walk, looking at my feet at all time.

‘Stop.’ I stop walking when Corvus tells me to. He turns me around and takes off the handcuffs. ‘Now, if you want to prevent going back to your cell, you should behave. You understand?’ He lifts up my head when I don’t answer. ‘Behave,’ he repeats. ‘Now turn around and start walking.’ I do as he tells me. Why shouldn’t I, I’ve got nothing to lose anyway.

‘Corvus, welcome,’ a jolly voice welcomes us.  
‘Look up,’ Corvus whispers. Once again, I do as he tells me. ‘Grandmaster,’ Corvus says stern.  
‘Come, come Corvus, you can be joyful,’ the man says. He smiles joyful, as if to give an example. He has strange blue markings on his skin, just underneath the eyes and on his chin, his hair is peaking every way and he’s wearing a strange, golden robe. ‘Or did this beautiful lady break your heart?’ He takes my hand and lifts it. He looks at me while placing a kiss on my hand. ‘What’s your name darling?’  
‘It’s Pandora and she didn’t break my heart, I’m here to sell her to you,’ Corvus says curt.  
‘Sell her?’ the man called Grandmaster says. He seems surprised, although I’m sure Corvus made his meanings clear before coming here. ‘This endearing creature? Are you sure?’  
‘Do you not want her?’ Corvus pulls me back a bit.  
‘No, no, no, I did not say that,’ Grandmaster says. He holds up his hands in a gesture of kindness. ‘I was just surprised.’  
‘Don’t be. She’s a feisty one. You can’t trust her the way you do with the others.’  
The Grandmaster hoovers around me, looking at me from every angle. ‘She can fight?’  
‘She can,’ Corvus confirms. ‘So make sure she doesn’t get her hands on any weapons.’  
Grandmaster smiles at me. ‘You won’t attack me, will you dear? We will have way to many fun for you to do such thing.’ He turns to my brother. ‘How much?’  
‘We want your champion.’  
The Grandmaster shakes his head. ‘I can’t do that. I can give you a few others.’  
‘He wants the champion.'  
‘He can borrow him when a fight is coming up, but I fear, my dear, that my champion is not up for sale.’ He looks me up and down. ‘Such a pity though. She really would be a great asset.’  
Corvus sighs irritated. ‘I will look at the others, consult with Thanos and get back to you.’  
The Grandmaster claps his hands in enthusiasm. ‘Perfect. I’ll ask one of my girls to-‘  
‘No. I will bring her back to my ship, where she will stay until further notice.’ Corvus looks at me. It doesn’t seem to please the Grandmaster, but he doesn’t go against it.  
‘If you wish,’ he says. Corvus nods, then forces me to walk along.

‘You did well,’ Corvus tells me.  He hands me a plate with food. Actual food. I look at it. ‘Get in your cell, eat, drink, I’ll be back before you know it.’ He hands me an iron beaker, filled with wine. ‘Go on.’ He nods to the cell. I keep my eye on him while getting in.  
‘Why are you selling me?’  
‘Father has no use for you anymore. You’re good for trading though. A good-looking girl, sweet, interesting.’ He closes the door. ‘Grandmaster likes his women. And men, for that matter. I knew he couldn’t resist you.’ He turns around. ‘I was right.’ He leaves the ship. ‘Now, enjoy your meal.’ The cargo-door closes behind him.  
I look down at the food I got. It seems nice. For the first time, I got a knife and fork. I take them and start eating. It tastes well. Jolsa probably made it. I take a sip of the wine. That too tastes good. They wouldn’t try to poison me. I would survive poison. They might use me to bring it over to this Grandmaster.  
I lean back against the wall. I can’t believe Loki didn’t come back for me.

After hours, Corvus comes back. I look at him.  
‘Get up.’ He unlocks the door and opens it.  
‘Corvus,’ I put down the beaker, but remain sitting. ‘How long have I been locked up?’ I desperately want to know more. Anything would be good.  
He sighs. ‘I guess it doesn’t matter now anyway.’ He always looks so stern and stiff, in his whole body language. ‘Nineteen months.’  
‘Nineteen months,’ I whisper. I look down. I don’t think there has ever been anyone released that was locked up that long.  
‘Come on now. You have to get up.’ He sounds a lot less commanding. I get up. He looks at me. I can’t see anything in his eyes, no emotion whatsoever. ‘Let’s go. He’s waiting for you.’ We walk through the corridors. It’s quite a nice place. It feels lively and warm.  
‘Don’t let him get to you.’ I look up. Corvus is walking beside me, like we did when we were siblings. I guess we still are, in a way. ‘He loves his women. He hates everyone who disrespects him.’ He isn’t looking my way, but he’s clearly talking to me. ‘You know your way around man. Use that.’ I’m not sure what he means about that.  
We walk into a large room. It reminds me off the great hall from fathers palace, though it’s much warmer and welcoming. Grandmaster is sitting in a chair. A woman stands beside him. She’s a bit more chubby, has dark hair and looks sourly at me. He might be kind, warming and strange, but she seems to be the opposite.  
Grandmaster stands up when he sees us. ‘Pandora.’ He smiles widely. ‘My dear.’ He takes my hand and turns me, as if we’re dancing.  
‘Don’t forget your end of the deal,’ Corvus says.  
Grandmaster nods and waves the sour looking woman. ‘Topaz, get Pandora here a nice room. Make sure she feels comfortable and inform her of her duties.’ He winks at me. The woman walks our way.  
‘Come with me,’ she growls. I glance over at Corvus. I guess he really sold me. I turn around and follow the woman. She has quite the pace.  
‘You will be taking care of the Grandmaster’s suite. You will be changing his sheets, cleaning his room, taking his dirty clothes to the laundry room, putting his clean clothes in his closet, making his bath if he asks, getting him his food if he asks. Make sure you are always around, so that when he needs you, I don’t have to find you.’ I listen to everything she says. ‘Do everything he tells you to. Keep in mind that I’m watching you. Dare to do something wrong and you will be punished.’ Not that they could do anything as bad as father.  
She opens a room. It’s quite a large room. Bigger than the one I had at fathers place, but that might be because it needs more space for its furniture. There’s a bed, a closet, a desk, a bookcase. ‘This is yours. Keep it clean. You are allowed to buy things for yourself. Grandmaster is kind enough to give you a small allowance.’ She looks at me demeaning. ‘I will show you how to get to his room.’ She turns around and I follow quickly. ‘Try to remember everything quick. I don’t feel like being your guiding dog.’ A guiding dog? What’s that? I don’t dare to ask. ‘You will get up at 4 and go to bed when you’ve finished everything. You will eat at 5, before Grandmaster wakes up, then at 3, after Grandmaster has eaten lunch and at 8, after Grandmaster has eaten his diner.’ I nod. ‘If you’ve finished all your jobs, you will ask Grandmaster or me if there is more to be done. If there isn’t, you’ll have some spare time. Use it as you wish, but make sure you can be called upon when needed.’  
She opens two grand doors. ‘This is his room.’ It is immense. A large bed, a big closet, there’s even a bubble bath. I look around.  
‘I will bring you back to your room. Get freshened up and go back to the Grandmaster. He might already have something to occupy you.’  
She walks me back and closes the door behind me. I take a few deep breaths and sink down to the ground. My chest feels so tight I can barely breath. My eyes are burning. I try not to cry, but it pains me so bad I feel like drowning myself for a change.  
I never felt this way before. I never felt like killing myself. I can’t imagine Loki giving up on me. I can’t imagine. Why would he do it? He broke because of me. Did that drive him away too? I know he felt betrayed by his father, his brother, maybe even his mother, but did I ever do anything to deserve his distrust? Did he not love me like he said?  
Only thinking about it makes my heart ache more.  
Did he not love me?


	22. The girl-friend experience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward flirting, background information

I walk back to the room I first saw Grandmaster. He is sitting comfortable sipping his drink. In a way, he reminds me of father. He smiles when he sees me. ‘Pandora, come on over dear,’ he stretches his arms towards me. I walk up towards him. ‘Come and sit with me dear.’ He slaps his leg, to tell me to sit on his lap.  
‘I’m sorry sir, I can’t simply sit on your lap,’ I say. I look down shyly.  
He seems surprised. ‘Are you shy?’ He gets up and approaches me. ‘Don’t be.’ He smiles. He smiles a lot, but it’s a dominant smile. It’s a smile filled with madness. A smile filed with joy. It’s not a bad smile. ‘I don’t bite.’ He bites in the air and laughs.  
Corvus told me to use my charms. I’m not sure what charms he means, I’m as charming as a dead tango. ‘You look sad,’ he tells me. He lifts up my chin and lets his eyes go over my face. ‘Aren’t you happy to be here?’  
‘I am sir.’ It’s not a lie. I’m very happy to be away from father. But I can’t say I’m happy either.  
‘Then why the long face? Did Topaz mistreat you already? Top-‘  
‘No sir, she was very kind.’  
He looks at me and frowns. ‘Kind? Are you sure we’re talking about the same person? The woman that showed you your room?’  
‘Yes sir.’ I nod. ‘She was very kind to me.’ He seems surprised by that. I guess she wasn’t really kind, but I’ve rarely met anyone kinder. She might have been curt and stern, she might not have looked at me like I was a person, but she didn’t do anything wrong yet. She didn’t try to attack me.  
‘Well- That’s- Nice to hear for a change,’ he says. He seems to have forgotten my sadness. ‘How about we dine together tonight. I would love to get to know you a little better.’ He smiles widely and wraps his arms around my waist, invading my personal space. It makes me very uncomfortable.  
‘If you would like me to dine with you sir, I will.’  
He smiles. ‘Perfect. Now…’ He claps his hands. ‘How about my dear Glina takes you shopping.’ He plays with the gold detail of my dress. ‘You get yourself something pretty. Some nice dresses maybe. She’ll know the best shops. You enjoy yourself and get familiar with our humble city.’ He gives me another kiss on the hand. I blush, I can’t help it. He actually wants me to buy nice things for myself?  
‘Glina dear, this is Pandora.’ A lady walks up to us. She looks very gracious. She reminds me of the lady I saw when I started my new memories. ‘You will take good care of her, won’t you?’ He suddenly strokes my hair. I look up in surprise. He really knows no boundaries.  
‘Of course Grandmaster.’ He gives her a kiss on the cheek, but I see him pinch her butt.  
She smiles kindly at me and offers me her arm. I doubtingly take it. She leads the way.  
‘I’ll see you ladies at diner.’ I look over my shoulder, just to see him wink. Corvus was right, he truly loves his women. I should be careful with him around.

‘So where are you from Pandora?’ She takes me down the streets. It’s a strange place, it smells bad, but it looks nice. I take a closer look at Glina. She has a great green skin, bright blue eyes and tongue, no eye-white, long, golden nails. When she smiles, a gold shimmering goes over her skin.  
‘Earth 616,’ I tell her.  
‘Thanos’ planet?’ She looks up at me in surprise.  
‘You know it?’ I ask.  
‘Yes, we’ve got another girl who used to be his servant.’ I swallow. Then the girl might know me. I hope she doesn’t hate me. ‘Dreadful place, she said. Awful people. She liked some of Thanos children, but she’s very secretive. Tells us it’s dangerous to talk about that place too much. Was it really that awful?’ She seems honestly interested.  
‘It is. I had it better than others there, but I hated it and wanted nothing more than to leave.’ I look down at my shoes. I look up and decide to quickly change subjects. ‘How about you?’  
‘Oh I got tossed away when I was a child, so I grew up here.’ She smiles, as if she didn’t just tell me she got tossed away. ‘Grandmaster took me in.’ She leads me around a corner. ‘He takes good care of his people.’ She pulls me in a little bit. ‘What kind of colors do you like?’ She sees my confusion. ‘For your dresses.’  
‘Oh.’ I blink in surprise. ‘I don’t know. I don’t think I really have any preference.’ We get to a busy street. There are lots of different people. People like Jolsa, blue, scaled skin with the same type of hair; People like Corvus, with a pale skin that almost seems skeleton like, a small nose and sharp teeth; People like Ebony with no noticeable nose, a grey-greenish skin and pointy ears. There are more, yellow people with large eyes, antennas on their heads, green people with one eye, large mouths and big claws, even some that seem to be made out of stone. They’re all people with different origins. Earth 616 is a little less cultural. We do have people from all over the universe, but they don’t live in peace like here. It’s amazing to see.  
‘Well, you’ve got a beautiful skin for light colors, like the blue you’re wearing. We can try on a lot of things.’  
‘I don’t even have any money.’  
‘Don’t worry about that,’ Glina laughs. ‘Grandmaster takes care of us. He gave me money for the both of us. I’ve got plenty of things, but I’m sure you didn’t get to take along much.’  
‘No, I didn’t.’ I did take three dresses along in my pillowcase.  
‘Well, Grandmaster is very generous. I’m sure you’ll soon have plenty of nice things.’ She takes me into a shop.

'How about this.' Glina opens the curtain and shows me a long, soft green dress. ‘You should try it.’  
‘Thank you,’ I say. I take the dress. ‘Don’t you want to fit anything?’  
‘No, I’ve got enough. I’m here to help you.’ She smiles warmly. ‘You should try the gold dress. I’m sure Grandmaster will _love_ that.’ She closes the curtain and lets me fit the few dresses we picked out, while probably looking for some new once.  
I put on the gold dress. It’s very shiny and way too showy for my taste. It does fit quite nice. With my olive colored skin and blue-ish eyes. Loki said there are many planets with people who look like me, so we should look into all of them if we want to find out where I’m from. I asked where he was from. He said Asgard, but then seemed to doubt his own answer. I let down my head. My chest feels tight. I have to fight back my tears. Thinking about him hurts, yet I can’t seem to do anything else but torture myself.  
The curtain opens and I look up. ‘Oh my,’ Glina says. ‘You look absolutely splendid.’ She stands back a bit. ‘You have to take this one. It will be perfect for one of Grandmasters parties.’ She hands me a few new dresses. ‘These are the last,’ she promises. ‘After you’ve tried them all, we’ll go to the jewelry store and get you some accessories.’ She closes the curtain. I’m glad she didn’t notice my sadness. It’s better not to show it. I should do as Nebula once told me: hide my feelings. Loki used to give me tips on how to be a better liar. I guess I should keep them in mind.  
I take off the dress.

‘Do we even have enough to go to the jewelry store?’ I frown as we leave the store. We had to pay a lot for my dresses. I’m sure there isn’t much left.  
Glina giggles. ‘You worry too much. We’ve got plenty.’ She hooks her arm into mine. We’re both carrying a few bags. ‘We should get you some nice underwear as well.’ I feel my cheeks turn red. I’m not used to talk about these kind of things. Even when I was tortured naked, my siblings and I avoided talking about it. Yes, we got used to it and I didn’t feel ashamed as much, but to talk about such things is different. ‘Nice underwear can make you feel real sexy, don’t you think?’ She looks up at me and sees me blush. ‘I’m sorry, aren’t you used to this kind of talk?’  
‘I’m not,’ I say softly.  
‘Well, you better get used to it. With this many girls you’re bound to talk a lot about these kind of things.’ She takes me into the next shop. A jewelry shop. I have no idea what to think about this all. Why am I getting all of these things? I hope they don’t expect me to sleep with Grandmaster. I definitely won’t. Not even if it would mean him trying to kill me.


	23. People we seem to know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Character introduction

I follow Glina to the laundry room as she gives me a tour. She even drew me a quick map to the most important places. ‘So you only have to put his laundry over here, at the “dirty” pile, then you’ll have to look over at the other table, where his clean clothes are. They’ll always be nicely folded, so you can easily fill up one of the baskets to take it along.’  
‘That’s a big pile,’ I say, looking at the clothes.  
‘He likes to change clothes a lot.’ Glina smiles, as if it’s nothing. ‘If you’ve got any clothes of yourself, you can either decide to clean them yourself...’ She waves me along. I follow.  
Further along the room are long lines filled with drying clothes. We walk past them and find two big tubs, filled with soap and clothes. A few men and women are carefully washing them all. ‘…or you can also choose to just put them in here, but then there is a risk of losing them. So I would recommend using the smaller tub.’ We walk along, to a side-room. ‘This is mostly for personal use. Just wash your clothes over here, take them along and let them dry in your own room, that’s better than losing them.’ She winks. ‘So, I think that’s everything you ought to know. Is there anything you like to do in your free time? Because in that case I might be able to help you.’  
I’ve been dying to ask this, now I finally get the chance. ‘Is there a library? Which is, open to us of course?’  
‘Of course,’ she doesn’t seem surprised. ‘Many of Grandmasters people like to read. Everyone has a different preference, so there’ll probably be something you’ll like.’  
“Grandmasters people”, that sounds like she’s telling me all the men and women in his service are in a sort of harem. I don’t get the chance to ask, because she starts walking along. I’m not even sure I want to know.

‘This is the library. Oh…’ There’s someone else too. I look over when Glina notices her. The girls eyes get big in surprise. I recognize her immediately. Her soft pink skin, her big, black eyes, her sharp teeth, the blue spots on her fingers, exactly on the places where my nails are. She seems to be frozen in het spot.  
‘Hilde,’ I say. I am just as surprised to see her as she is to see me. It seems to wake her up.  
She bows. ‘Miss Pandora. What are you doing here?’ Glina is obviously confused. I can’t blame her.  
‘Hilde you know you never have to call me like that. Especially when…’ I glance over at Glina and uncomfortably look away. ‘… _he_ is not around.’  
‘I know,’ she answers. She glances over at Glina too.  
‘I was sold, to the Grandmaster.’  
‘Sold?’ I know it seems like I must be lying, especially to someone who knew my status on Earth 616. ‘But miss-‘ She glances over to Glina again and stops herself.  
‘Don’t let me being here stop you two from talking,’ Glina says, she doesn’t seem to like the fact that we keep quiet on her behave.  
‘We’ll talk later,’ Hilde says. She nods kindly and quickly walks on by.  
‘But-‘ Glina doesn’t get the chance to say any more to Hilde. She looks over at me. ‘Why does she call you miss?’  
‘Because people used to call me that,’ I whisper.  
‘But why? Was your status higher than that of Hilde?’  
‘Yes.’ I start walking around the library. ‘But I prefer not to talk about that place.’ I’m glad it’s Hilde that lives here. I’m glad she’s the one Glina was talking about. She knows me. She’s kind and understanding. She doesn’t know I was unhappy, living with father, but she took more time to get to know us. That’s why she eventually fell in love with Ebony.  
‘Were you some sort of house mistress?’ she tries to dig.  
‘These are all different languages,’ I say, looking at the books.  
‘We collect thrown away books. But were you?’  
‘Is it ordered by genre?’  
‘Please, just tell me something,’ she begs. ‘Hilde doesn’t tell me anything either.’  
‘With a good reason,’ I say. ‘You don’t want to know things about there. Believe me.’ I turn around and look at her. ‘I’m sorry.’ She looks so sad. ‘But it really is a dreadful place. Most people who leave, or get to leave, will want to forget all about the place.’ I stand still and swallow. Maybe so did Loki. Maybe that’s why he didn’t come back for me.  
‘What kind of book are you looking for.’ She looks at me with a pitiful look, but quickly puts a smile over it. I probably didn’t hide my emotions well enough, again. I’m an open book and it has always worked against me.  
‘I was thinking about something educational.’  
‘I thought so. Most girls go for romantic books, but not you. You seem way to educated for such simple things.’ She smiles and takes me along the many bookcases. It’s much larger than fathers library, but I’ll probably be more limited, due to language barriers. If I were to take my time, I might be able to learn some new once. I’m quite a quick study.


	24. Fool is he who believes the lie

I quickly enter the dining room. It’s different than I had imagined. There are many people. Young men and women, standing around, sipping from their drink. There are some tables you can stand by. People take some food from the buffet and take their plate along to stand by friends. I walk around, not knowing where to look.  
‘Pandora.’ Topaz startles me. She rushes my way. She must be mad I’m not in the kitchen. She frowns. ‘You’re late.’  
‘I am?’ I say.  
‘Yes. Come along.’ She turns around and starts walking. We make our way through the crowd and end up before Grandmaster. Beside him stand two people. A woman, small, one eye in the middle of her forehead, yellow skin, blue hair and large breasts. On his other side, a man. He has a well-built body. His red eyes seem to pierce right through you. He has long, brown hair and pointy ears. Grandmaster has one on each arm. ‘Aah, there she is. My lovelies, I’d like you to meet the beautiful Pandora.’ The two of them smile and look me up and down. They seem to be judging me. ‘Isn’t she just a thing.’ He shakes his head. His smile never leaves his face.  
‘She really is a beauty,’ the girl says. She puts a kiss on his cheek and then frees herself to walk my way. She lets her fingers go over my skin while walking around me. I softly pull back a bit, letting her know I’m not keen on her doing so.  
‘Now now, don’t be shy,’ Grandmaster laughs. ‘She’s still a bit new to this all. I’m sure that if we make her feel at home, she’ll warm up.’ He winks at me. No, I won’t. But I can’t simply tell him that, can I?  
The woman ends beside me. ‘My name is Hosha, this is Koldo.’ The man smiles at me. Grandmasters hand is on Koldo’s hip, as if to make sure he doesn’t leave his side. He clearly doesn’t care if his lovers are male or female. Good for him. As long as he doesn’t expect me to be one of them.

‘Don’t be like that. Why don’t you join us. There’s a bubble bath.’ Grandmaster pulls me towards him by my dress. He’s had a lot to drink. Hosha and Koldo are making out a bit further along the corridor.  
‘I’m sorry sir,’ I say softly. I try to free myself from his grip. ‘I don’t think we have the same concept when it comes to getting to know each other.’ He continues to pull.  
‘Surely not. I’m confident you will enjoy yourself.’ He pulls me against his chest and tries to push his lips against mine. I turn my head. He laughs and bites my ear. ‘Why don’t you come along and give it a try?’  
‘Sir,’ I whisper. ‘I really don’t feel comfortable. I know I’m not supposed to go against your orders, but I beg of you to let go of me,’ I try to reason with him.  
‘But don’t you want to spend the night with your new friends?’ He looks at me.  
‘I think we have different ideas when it comes to doing what friends do together. Sir, I am truly, very honored that you think I am worthy of your time. But I am afraid I cannot-‘ I bite my lip and try to remember Loki’s tips about lying. I can almost hear his voice in my head. _‘Try to use words you normally would,’_ Loki told me. _‘Look at the person when you feel the subject is comfortable, when you would feel confident. Just make sure you don’t blink too much or look away too much. Don’t touch your head when you lie. Those are all things that could give you away. When the subject is something uncomfortable, you’re allowed to look away. Just do so a few seconds before answering. If it’s something that were to be painful, shameful, or anything like it, just try to cry. When you want to act mad, insulted, just think about something or someone that pisses you off and pretend you’re talking to them. Oh, and talk soft if it’s something you would feel uncomfortable about.’_ I remember him smiling at me. Such an enjoyable smile, as if he was thinking about something funny. _‘If you want it to be completely believable, try to convince yourself of it first. Repeat it in your head a few times. Furthermore, try to keep it vague, but get in enough memorable information. Just to make sure you remember it too.’_ We had practiced a few times. He, of course, knew exactly when I was lying. _‘You’re good at twisting the truth, use that to your advantage if you can’t find any other way out. You’ll get the hang of it when you practice more.’_  
‘I cannot spend the night with you, because I am not made for reproduction the way you are, sir.’ He frowns. ‘My kind reproduces in a way you use to simply show your affection, by a kiss, sir.’ I don’t look down, but I do try to look uncomfortable and shy. Not that hard, because I actually feel uncomfortable.  
‘Really? I haven’t heard that before. That’s fascinating.’ He finally lets go a bit.  
‘Yes sir. There aren’t many of my kind left. We are quite unnoticeable.’  
‘But I’m not of the same kind, so would I be impregnating you when I were to kiss you?’  
‘Yes sir. All we need is DNA from the other to reproduce. Either male or female.’  
‘Then what do you do for pleasure?’ He asks, smiling once again. He seems fascinated by my story, or maybe he is amused.  
‘We find pleasure in simple things sir, just being in each other’s presence, talking. We feel great joy when listening to the voice a friend or possible mate. But we rarely touch when we do not know a person well. We are very withdrawn people, sir.’ I look down at my hands, but look up rather quickly. ‘We do not mind being with large groups of people, but it is not normal to be intimate with someone we do not know well.’  
‘Interesting,’ he says. ‘Well, you will have to tell me all about you’re kind tomorrow, Pandora.’ I’m lucky he’s drunk, because I’m sure I could have done better. Still, I must have been believable enough, because he lets me be and walks off with Hosha and Koldo.

I withdraw myself to my room. I look around. I enjoy this one more than my last, still, I am missing a feeling of home.  
I sit down on my bed and look at the books I put on my nightstand. I haven’t taken the time yet to get out my clothes from my pillow. I hid it underneath my bed as soon as I got the chance. I get it out and pull out the dresses and the book I once bought. There’s nothing more inside it but a simple pillow. I put the pillow beside the one I got from Grandmaster.  
I look around and sigh. Maybe, if I’m lucky, I can make something out of it. I’ll have to.


	25. Survivor's story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Background information

Garano’s, that’s the kind I’m going for. It’s an endangered species from the planet Huro. Which was destroyed many centuries ago. Only the Garano’s that weren’t on the planet survived. They can live long lives. Depending on the kind they reproduce with, their children will most likely be Garano’s too. But that’s just extra information, if Grandmaster were to poke around a little more. Even though there are still Garano’s, there aren’t many anymore. I am one of the few.  
I practiced it all in front of the mirror. I practiced until I believed myself. After that I thought about some more details, if he were to ask me more.  
I also decided to practice my magic. I might need it later on, to smooth things over.  
‘Good morning sir,’ I bow lightly when I enter his room. He is still there, laying in bad. He is awake. There are two girls in his bed, Hosha and another one, and one guy, Koldo.  
‘Good morning Pandora. You are allowed to call me Grandmaster, you know.’ I look up at him.  
‘Of course, Grandmaster.’ I start cleaning up. I take the clothes off the ground and try to figure out who owns what. I can’t take along clothes that aren’t his, then the others wouldn’t have anything to wear anymore.  
I put the clothes down on a chair for a moment, while cleaning up some empty bottles, a fallen vase, amongst other things. ‘Did you enjoy yourself last night?’ Grandmaster asks.  
I look up, to see if he’s talking to me. He is looking at me, while caressing Koldo. ‘I did, s- Grandmaster.’ He smiles a bit. ‘You really know how to throw a party.’  
‘I do, don’t I.’ My complement seems to satisfy him a lot. ‘I remember talking to you yesterday,’ he says. He thinks about it. ‘Did we finish that conversation?’  
‘We did sir.’ It’s better to let him believe I’ve already told him everything.  
‘So did we decide on anything?’ he asks.  
‘No sir- Grandmaster. I’m sorry.’ I look down. I can’t get used to calling him Grandmaster. It isn’t a real name, like Koldo or Hosha, it’s a title.  
‘Don’t worry about it.’ He follows me with his eyes. ‘Will you get me breakfast? Something we can eat in bath.’  
I nod. ‘Of course Grandmaster, as you wish.’ I take his clothes off the chair and leave, to bring them to the laundry room.

After bringing his things to the laundry room, I take along his new clothes. I bring them to his room, only to find him in his bubble bath with the people he was in bed with earlier. I slip away, to get them something to eat.  
I am not really used to these chores. I used to tell people what to do, now I’ll have to do these things myself. It isn’t that bad, I don’t mind. As long as I’m not under fathers command anymore.  
I’m almost at the kitchen when Topaz appears. ‘You missed breakfast.’  
‘I know, I went to Grandmasters room first, to clean up. I am retrieving his breakfast now.’ I look at her. She’s a large woman. She seems intimidating, but I don’t think she would be able to defeat me. You can never be too sure, of course.  
‘He wants to eat in his room?’ I nod. ‘Ask the cook for a tray. Make sure he has plenty. Stay with him, in case he needs you to get more.’  
‘I will,’ I tell her.  
‘Good, now hurry.’ She walks away.  
I enter the kitchen and do as Topaz told me to. Grandmasters cook is a long man, with three eyes, a tip-lifted nose and grinding teeth. He has large ears and no hair. He gets around the kitchen easily, with three feet and four hands.  
I watch him cook and gather things.  
‘Miss Pandora,’ Hilde appears beside me. ‘You weren’t here with breakfast, weren’t you hungry?’  
‘Not really,’ I admit.  
She takes my hands. ‘Miss, what are you doing here?’ she whispers. She quickly looks around. ‘Did Ebony send you?’ I can see the hope in her eyes. It’s the same way I felt when thinking about Loki, how he would be the one getting me away from father.  
‘I’m sorry Hilde,’ I whisper. ‘He has no idea where you are. Until recently, he thought you were dead.’ I see tears blink in her eyes. ‘I told him you aren’t, so he might just be looking for you now.’ I softly rub away a tear.  
‘Thank you,’ she whispers. I smile kindly. The cook puts some plates on a large tray. ‘Miss, can I come by your room tonight?’ She softly squeezes my hands.  
‘Of course you may,’ I tell her. ‘I want to know how you got here.’ I softly squeeze back. She smiles. The cook slides the tray my way. ‘I have to go now. I’ll see you tonight, after dinner.’ I slowly let go of her hands and take the tray. ‘And Hilde.’ She looks at me with her big doe eyes. ‘Please stop calling me miss, you know you never even needed to call me that in the first place.’  
‘It’s a habit miss.’ She bites her lower lip. ‘I can’t simply stop doing so.’  
I give her a crooked smile. ‘Well, feel free to simply call me Pandora.’ I turn around and leave. I wish I could continue talking to her, but I can’t.

When I enter Grandmasters room, he is kissing Koldo, the girls are busy talking and giggling and water is everywhere. Probably from getting in and out of the tub.  
‘I got you breakfast, Grandmaster.’ I told Hilde to stop calling me miss, so I’ll have to try calling him Grandmaster.  
‘Delicious!’ Grandmaster yells. Koldo takes the tray and puts it on top of the water. It simply floats above the water, just a few centimeters. ‘Thank you my dear,’ he tells me. He turns to the others in the tub. ‘Did you know, Pandora is part of a dying breed?’  
‘She is?’ Hosha says.  
‘Indeed. What was it called again?’ Grandmaster asks.  
‘Garano, Grandmaster.’  
‘Garano’s, I’ve never heard about them, have you?’ he asks the others. They all shake their heads.  
‘We’re from the planet Huro.’  
‘That’s the one that got blown up, right?’ Koldo asks. I nod. The planet truly did exist at one point.  
‘All on the planet died, which is why we are a rare breed,’ I tell them softly.  
‘They reproduce by kissing,’ Grandmaster says. ‘Isn’t that just the most fascinating thing you’ve ever heard?’ They all nod. ‘Didn’t you say you find pleasure in talking and listening to friends?’ He asks. I nod. ‘Why is that?’  
‘Because of the sound waves of their voices. The voices from people we love or care about deeply, fill us with joy, sir. It gives us a great pleasure. We’re not that talkative, unless we find the others feel joy in it.’ I look at the four people in the tub.  
‘What do you talk about, when you do talk to friends,’ the girl I don’t know asks.  
‘Everything. Just our daily routine, stories told by our ancestors, myths, books we read, everything we can possibly talk about.’ I sit down at the edge of the tub.  
‘Was it a nice planet?’ Hosha asks.  
‘I do not know.’ I look down and continue more softly. ‘I wasn’t born there. I heard stories from my parents, but they died during battle with-‘ I swallow and stop. Think about something sad. Something that will make you cry. I feel tears dripping down my face.  
‘Oh dear,’ Grandmaster says. He takes my hand. ‘Well don’t worry about that. You’re safe now. We are all a big, happy family here.’ The others nod. ‘You’ll feel at home before you know it.’ He pats my hand and eventually lets go. ‘Let’s talk about more enjoyable subjects. How do you find Sakaar so far?’ He clearly doesn’t like gloom situations. That would be good to remember.


	26. Working up

I carelessly walk through one of the few gardens of Sakaar. It is artificially made, but still seems rather nice. I sit down on a bench and take out my book. Just as I open it, Hilde hurries my way. ‘Pandora, Grandmaster is asking for you.’ I sigh and put away my book.  
‘Did it seem important?’ I stand up and walk her way.  
‘He said it was.’  
‘Him saying so and it being so are two different things.’ She giggles.  
‘I still can’t believe it. How did you manage it?’  
I shrug. ‘I truly have no idea.’ I make my way to her and hook my arm into hers. ‘But I’m glad I managed to do so.’ I have been on Sakaar for a few months now. I have managed to successfully lie, multiple times.  
‘I think it’s about another party, or maybe his champion, I’m not sure. He never tells us anything,’ Hilde says, as she forces me into a quicker pace. ‘I’m sorry to bother you nonetheless.’  
‘Don’t be,’ I tell her. ‘You’re just doing as he asks of you.’ She smiles.  
When we get to the great hall, we part ways, before I enter. Grandmaster is busy fitting some new clothes. There are people running around, either getting him clothes or giving him drinks and food. Topaz, who, so I learned, is his bodyguard and right hand, quietly watches everyone. She looks up and gives a small nod in recognition. I give back a little bow of the head. In these few months I learned that, although it might not seem that way, she actually likes me. Or so I presume, since she treats me more as a colleague than she does with everyone else.

‘Grandmaster,’ I say. He looks up.  
‘Pandora, good!’ He waves away a man who offers him a glass of wine. ‘I was thinking, how about a ship.’  
‘I am sure there are plenty of nice ship, Grandmaster, but do you think it truly necessary to get another party ship?’ I ask.  
‘Well I got my eye on a great one, but I need you to take a closer look at it. Would you be a dear and do it?’ He looks in the mirror and pulls his pink vest straight.  
‘If you wish of me. But do you not think it would be better to alter one of the others?’ I try.  
‘Hmmm,’ he says, without looking away from himself.  
‘Why not sell one? Might bring in some new money. We can show the people we think efficient,’ I propose.  
‘Thinking efficient,’ he mumbles. ‘I like that. Which one do I use least?’  
‘The green one with the red and blue lights.’  
‘How much would we gain by selling it?’ he asks.  
‘Depends, might be about 20 to 30.’ I say, thinking about the financial information I read. ‘How much will the new ship cost?’  
‘100,’ he says. He goes through his hair with his hand. ‘Maybe we should sell one more, just to get it about even.’  
‘That sounds good.’ I look at Topaz.  
‘Which one would that be?’  
‘The gold one with the flame-throwers for extra speed.’  
‘Hmm, I like that one.’ He clacks his tongue. ‘How about the metallic-purple one, the one with the disco lights and screens on the side?’  
‘If you’d like to sell it?’ I say. It would surely bring up more than the gold one.  
‘Yes, sell that one.’ He takes a silver jacket, but barely tries it on before throwing it back to one of the guys dressing him.  
I nod. ‘From whom are we buying the new ship?’  
‘From-er.’ He snaps his fingers. ‘What’s his name.’  
‘Partini,’ Topaz answers.  
‘Him, yes. Such a strong guy.’ Grandmaster smiles. ‘Will you take care of everything?’  
‘I will, Grandmaster.’  
‘Perfect. Now about tonight.’ He claps his hands. ‘Will you be wearing that charming gold dress?’ he asks. ‘Because if you do. I will be wearing my gold vest, to match up.’  
I feel like laughing. ‘I will wear the gold dress.’ I wore it once and he has loved it ever since.  
‘Oh just perfect,’ he says. He smiles from ear to ear. ‘Now what will they serve at the party? I was thinking crabfish, tango and wellish?’  
‘I think that should be doable,’ I agree. Of course there will be much more. We will have plenty of leftovers, with the amount of food Grandmaster wants on his party.  
‘Will you take care of it all?’ I nod in agreement. He smiles and continues his own business. I turn and leave. Ever since we spent a whole night talking, he seems to really trust me. We talked about lots of things and he seemed to have decided to put some of the responsibilities on me. Topaz doesn’t seem to mind. The only problem is that I have only been here for five months and I don’t know everybody. There are a lot of people to get to know. Luckily, I have Hilde to help. After he told me I would be “like his left hand”, I asked him if I could have Hilde as my personal servant, so that I would have someone who could do some minor chores for me. He, of course, agreed. I’m not sure yet what I said to get this far, but I climbed up the ladder within three weeks.

I take along some papers while looking at the ships. I have to be sure there’s nothing left that we need to keep here. They are nice ships. Not really made to travel around in, unless you want to party throughout the universe. I find a bra underneath one of the pillows. I’ve thought about taking off with one of them, since I now have the codes, but I wouldn’t know where to go, what to do and who to see. It’s not so bad here. I have Grandmasters trust, he’s good to me, to all of us. I don’t like the matches he organizes, the fights, but it’s a minor thing when looking at the whole picture. Not to the people who have to fight the champion, of course. For them it’s a major thing. I don’t go to the matches. I don’t meet the people involved. I told Grandmaster I prefer a less violent environment. He didn’t seem to understand, at first, but I explained I had to spent years in a violent home and I would prefer to stay away from it for a while. That was when he recalled Corvus telling him I was dangerous and should not be allowed to be around weapons. Too late, of course, because I had my hands on many knives. I even have my own knives in my room. I’m not planning on using them, but I could, if I wanted to.  
Since Grandmaster realized I could have easily killed or attacked him, which I didn’t, it made him realize he didn’t have anything to fear for. Not that he thought he had. But he realized I wouldn’t attack him.  
I check the lights, the screens, the alarm, the whole system. Everything seems to work. I’ll just have to check the cabins and see to it that someone cleans it before we show it to a buyer.


	27. Glorious people

I walk through the city streets. It’s truly a magnificent city, especially when you think about the fact that we’re surrounded by junk. I can’t imagine that there used to be nothing but trash. People seem to be in good health, well fed and happy. The paths are mostly dirt roads. I smile and greet a few people who work for Grandmaster too. People here are happy. They have a lot. There are people working through the trash, trying to gather valuable things, junk that can be recycled. Anything and everything useful. Lots of things get imported, just like on fathers planet. Most people aren’t specifically rich, but they all seem to be able to make it work.  
I get to the market. It’s the busiest place in the city. It’s on a large plaza not that far from Grandmasters building. It goes up all the way to the arena, which is about two hundred meters to the west, and reaches through some streets to the east too. People sell food, coming from their own gardens, from creatures they keep. People sell home-made clothes, home-made inventions, souvenirs. It took me some time to realize how many people actually come to visit this place. It’s a dump, but these people made something out of it, something so incredible, people all over the universe come by, just to take a look at it.  
I buy some chonto’s, a sweet, red, chip like food that is salted and steamed. I learned to appreciate this snack in the last few months. I never tasted such thing before. I eat it while walking along. I take on a slow pace, looking around, enjoying myself. I never thought I would be this happy being here.

‘How much would that be?’ I ask.  
’50,99 miss,’ the young man behind the shopping stall says.  
I smile and hand him the money. The money they use here is different then I’m used to. The coins are flat, triangles made out of some sort of stone. Depending on its value, it shines brighter. They’re almost like diamonds. I hand him two jingles and four balks.  
‘Leave the change,’ I say. The guy smiles kindly. I take over the armor. I decided to take up my fighting. I know there’s a gym in Grandmasters palace. I have used it to keep up my stamina, but I haven’t been practicing my fighting. I asked Topaz if she would mind training with me.  
‘Why?’ she asked me. She remembered Corvus telling her and Grandmaster I was dangerous.  
‘Don’t worry. I just thought it might be better if Grandmaster has two people to protect him. You’re not always around, neither am I, but at least we would both be able to protect him, if necessary.’ She agreed upon that, but still seemed suspicious. She asked Grandmaster, who told her I wasn’t dangerous at all. In fact, he seemed quite happy I wanted to train. After that she agreed to practice with me. I might be a bit rusty. I don’t have the same equipment I used to have. Which is why I’m getting myself some new things.  
I managed to find an invisible bust, two bracelet that can both be turned into a shield and arm-protectors throughout the last week. They’re quite rare, but were thrown away because they were broken. I managed to get them to work again. I’m not sure how, but I did. I might have a history with technology. Or maybe I used to work in a hospital. I’m not sure. There are lots of reasons why I might be good in working with technology. It might just be that I picked up most things during reading. I never tried fixing things before, even though I read a lot about it.  
I look around and throw the wrap of the chonto’s in a bin. I now can cross knee-protectors off my list. They seem quite comfortable and since my siblings often used to aim at my knees, they probably are my week spot.

‘Pandora!’ Hosha comes running my way. She smiles and then gives me two soft kisses on my cheek. ‘How good to see you. Are you shopping for tonight?’ I nod. ‘Do you mind if I join you?’  
‘Of course not.’ She hooks her arm through mine and starts walking. Hosha is still very popular with Grandmaster. I found out she and Koldo are married. They enjoy the company of Grandmaster. They’re often at his parties, but don’t work for him. They simply are more wealthy than the most people here, enjoy a good party and have gotten in the good graces of Grandmaster. Ever since I became his left hand, we’ve been spending a lot of time together. It seems as if they want to be close to everyone that’s close to the Grandmaster. They don’t seem to succeed in being friends with Topaz, but who does.  
‘Will you be wearing that adorable gold dress again? Grandmaster seems to like it. He barely could get his eyes off of you last time you wore it.’ Hosha smiles. ‘You look absolutely gorgeous in it.’ I’m not sure what it is exactly that she wants. I’m sure there has to be something.  
‘I was thinking about getting something else,’ I tell her. ‘Another gold dress, but just, something different.’ I smile. ‘But he asked me to wear it again. So I will.’  
Hosha smiles. ‘You should still get the new dress though. You might be able to surprise him.’ She leads me to a stall, to take a look at some jewels.  
‘I might.’  
‘You should. It’s good to surprise him.’ She takes an earring and holds it to her ear. ‘What do you think?’ she asks, turning to me.  
‘They look good.’  
‘You think so.’  
‘Absolutely.’ She could wear anything and make it look good. It’s quite frustrating to see. She smiles and hands the earrings to the saleswoman.

We walk up the street, to one of the dress-shops Hosha wants to take me to. I haven’t been in this part before. I like to see new parts of the city, but when it comes to buying new things, I tend to stick to places I’m familiar with. I don’t mind the change though. If Hosha is familiar with the store, it must be a good one. She always wears the nicest things.  
We go into the shop. It’s a large one, much bigger than any I’ve ever been before. There are dresses, sport-clothes, underwear, sleepwear, expensive looking daily wear.  
‘Surprised?’ she asks.  
‘A little, yes.’  
‘They have quality things, which made it possible for them to open a bigger store. It’s quite expensive, but absolutely worth it.’ She walks over to some bras. ‘Look around, but do look me up when you go to the changing room, I’ll tag along. That way we can see the things we both want to buy.’ I nod in agreement and go towards the dresses.  
The first few weeks were really hard for me. I couldn’t get used to these people. I wasn’t used to their friendliness. Topaz her harshness was something I was more familiar with. Which might be the reason I can get along with her. With the others, I felt confused. Hosha was one of the people I was confused by the most. According to Hilde she wants to be my friend and this is the way friends act. I trust Hilde, but it didn’t change the fact that I had to get used to Hosha. I am used to her now, well, sort of. I sometimes still suspect her of having alternative motives, even though Hilde said I shouldn’t worry about it too much.


	28. Do I know you?

I look at myself in the mirror. I never had a mirror to look in before coming here. According to father it stimulates vanity. He doesn’t want daughters that are pretty, he wants daughters that are fighters. Which was also why I rarely ever used it to begin with.  
I let my hands go over the gold silk. It fits my body like a glove. It’s a floor-length dress. It has a low, open back. Something that made me unsure about getting it, since I have the scars on my back. But Hosha talked me into it. She told me the one at my hairline was visible as well, but nobody minds seeing it. It has lace from the breasts up. The silk fabric perfectly flows over into it. Then just over the shoulder, it turns back into solid silk and softly drapes down. It isn’t something I would wear daily. Much too flashy. But it’s a really nice dress.  
Hilde did my hair, which is now all curly. ‘You look beautiful,’ Hilde says. She smiles kindly and hands me over my bracelets.  
‘Thank you,’ I whisper. I’m not sure why I feel anxious. It might be the open back, it might be the fact that I’m actually dressing to get in the good graces of a man. Of Grandmaster.  
Hilde softly touches my back. ‘I still can’t believe you smuggled your knives in.’ I cringe as her fingers get near the scars. It’s always a bit more sensitive. I’m normally not that aware of them, but now I am and it only makes it worse. ‘I’m sorry,’ Hilde says, quickly pulling back her hand.  
‘It’s okay,’ I whisper. I put on the bracelets. They fit well with the dress. Two massive golden bracelets, with waving cut outs.  
‘Just enjoy yourself,’ Hilde says. ‘Don’t worry too much about others. Just stand with Grandmaster or Hosha and Kolde and you’ll be fine.’ I’ve been to plenty of parties. Grandmaster throws them almost every evening. But I’ve never been this nervous. Hilde seems to know. ‘If people ask, you don’t have to answer. You’re free to tell them no.’ I nod. I am free to tell them no. I am not bound to tell everyone everything. I am my own person.

I slowly walk through the corridor. I took the elevator up to the penthouse, like always. I’m a little late. I can hear people talking, laughing, music playing. A live band, of course. I chose it. I enter the room. It’s a big room, almost as big as the roof itself. It has the corridor, with the elevator, multiple bathrooms and a pair of stairs to the rooftop. I’ve been to the rooftop quite often. It’s beautiful. There are lots of plants, lights, a hot tub and the most beautiful few. The penthouse itself has lots of nice spots to sit or stand with friends. There are two bars, many pillows and I know there’s a bed built in the wall. Grandmaster often spends the night here after a good party. It has warm colors. Two of the walls are made out of glass. It adds something extra.  
I smile to some people and quickly locate the Grandmaster. He isn’t hard to find. He’s the center of attention. I feel quite relieved as I walk towards him.  
‘Grandmaster,’ I say. I gently put my hand on his arm.  
‘Ah, Pandora.’ He smiles widely. ‘Just look at you.’ He looks me up and down. ‘You look absolutely gorgeous.’ He takes my hand and puts a kiss on it. ‘Hosha told me you found a new dress, but she didn’t tell me it looked this gorgeous on you my dear. You look beautiful.’ He turns. ‘Don’t you think?’  
‘Absolutely,’ a soft and familiar voice uppers. I feel my chest tighten and look up. ‘She looks absolutely splendid.’ Loki. It’s actually him. His hair is longer, he isn’t all black and blue and he seems a lot healthier. But it’s definitely him. Those eyes, they have stared at me so often I would be able to recognize them everywhere.  
For a moment, all I can do is stare. Then I shake off my feelings and extend my hand towards him. ‘I don’t believe we’ve met yet.’ I see the confusion in his eyes. ‘My name is Pandora.’  
‘My left hand, as I like to call her.’ Grandmaster softly strikes a piece of hair behind my ear. It’s a movement I’ve gotten used to. It isn’t because he wants something from me, it’s just his way of admiring me. His way of showing some sort of affection.  
I wait for Loki to take my hand, but he’s just staring at Grandmaster. There’s a look of hatred in his eyes. He’s lucky Grandmaster is focused on me. He needs to pull himself together, otherwise he might end up in a bad place.  
‘Your name?’ I ask Loki. He looks up at me.  
‘Loki,’ he says. He gently takes my hand and lifts it. ‘I’m Loki from Asgard.’ He looks at me meaningful. He then looks down and places a soft kiss on my hand. My heart is pounding like crazy. It seems like I can barely breath. He has no idea what he does to me. What he has done to me.  
‘Loki arrived this morning. For a moment there I wasn’t sure what to do with him, but he seems so very interesting. And such a handsome fallow too, don’t you think?’ Grandmaster says.  
‘Yes,’ I say softly. I smile at Grandmaster.  
‘Hmm,’ Grandmaster says, smiling mysteriously. Well, not really. I know exactly what he is thinking. I might need to warn Loki about that. No, why should I? I don’t owe him anything.  
‘Kember. Kember.’ Grandmaster suddenly says. The servant immediately stops in his tracks. ‘Could you get us all something to drink my dear?’  
‘Of course Grandmaster,’ Kember says. He disappears in the crowd. I catch Loki frowning, looking from Grandmaster to myself.

‘So tell us, Loki from Asgard,’ I say. I hook my arm in that of Grandmaster. He places his hand on mine. Another small gesture of his affection. ‘How did you end up on Sakaar?’  
‘I- uh-‘ I see him stare at our hands. ‘I was on my way home and got attacked- On the way. I fell through one of the holes and ended up here.’  
‘You got attacked?’ I ask.  
‘Yes. Family. It’s quite complicated.’ He shakes his head, then clears his throat and pulls his shirt.  
‘We have the time, don’t we dear?’ Grandmaster says.  
‘Of course. Please, enlighten us.’ I look at Loki.  
He takes a deep breath and pulls the collar of his shirt. ‘Is it hot here?’ he mumbles.  
‘Ah, Kember! Thank you dear.’ Grandmaster takes his drink. I unhook myself to take my own glass. Loki gratefully takes his too. He clocks some of it down.  
‘A man with apatite, I like it,’ Grandmaster says. I take a sip of my drink and look at Loki. He’s staring at me as well.  
He pulls his shirt again. ‘Are you alright?’ I ask.  
He stops drinking and nods. ‘Yes, just a bit hot.’  
‘I could guide you to the rooftop, we could get some fresh air,’ Grandmaster suggests. I barely move, but I would love to shake my head right now. ‘Hold on. Ginara, is that you dearest?’ Luckily, Grandmaster is quickly distracted. ‘I’ll be right back.’ Grandmaster winks at Loki. ‘Don’t go too far.’ Before I can stop him, he walks away to greet someone. I watch him, just like Loki does.

The moment Grandmaster seems occupied, Loki turns back. ‘Pandora?’ I look at him. ‘I know you still recognize me. You do.’ He seems so desperate. ‘Right?’  
I would love to say no right now. How often I have wished I could just forget about him. How long it took me to get over him, to not constantly think about him. I would love to tell him I lost my memories again, but I can’t, because I didn’t. ‘I do,’ I whisper. He comes closer. ‘Don’t.’ I close my eyes and try to step back. My body won’t move.  
‘Pandora,’ he says my name with such affection.  
‘Don’t,’ I whisper again. I can’t do this again. His fingers softly touch my arm. I open my eyes. For a second I look right into his, then I step back. ‘I can’t do this,’ I tell him. I turn my heels and start walking. I need to leave. I need to get away from him.  
I get into the corridor. A few people pass me, to get to the party. I probably know them, but I don’t feel like talking so I avoid eye contact. I quickly make my way to the elevator.  
‘Pandora.’ He followed me. Of course he followed me. He grabs my wrist as I want to push the button. ‘What do you mean you can’t do this?’  
‘It means exactly what I say. I can’t do this.’ He looks over his shoulder. There’s nobody there. ‘Loki, just let me go,’ I say softly. He looks back at me. He seems confused. Suddenly he pulls my wrist. ‘Loki,’ I say. I try to get myself loose, but he starts walking. His grip is firm. ‘Loki!’ I don’t want to make a scene, so I try to keep my voice down. He pulls me up the stairs, to the rooftop.

As soon as we get there, he closes the door. He doesn’t let go of me, not even while he puts up some spell. The roof is flat. The only thing sticking out is a cabin with the door built in it. It’s a strange looking thing. High, round and pointy, to give a more extraordinary look to the building. Not that that’s possible. The whole building is a strange looking thing.  
Loki pushes me against it. ‘Please don’t tell me- Are you-‘ He looks at me intensely. ‘Do you-‘ His hand softly slides up my back, over my bare skin. ‘Are you in a relationship with him? Is that it?’ he asks. He pushes up my chin with his free hand. ‘Is that why you can’t look at me?’ I try to free my head, in which I succeed. ‘Don’t tell me you’re in a relationship with him.’  
I frown. Who is he talking about? ‘Me and- Grandmaster?’ I laugh. I force myself to look at him. I need to prove him wrong. ‘Grandmaster doesn’t have relationships. He has casual sex.’  
He slightly backs down, but not enough to give me room to escape. ‘He- Did- You-‘ He suddenly grabs my arm with a strong and painful grip. If he puts any more strength in, I’m sure it’ll break. He slams the cabin with his free hand. He looks down and is breathing heavily. ‘Please don’t tell me-‘ He slowly places his forehead against mine and lets go of my arm. His hands softly take my hips. ‘Pandora-‘ He sounds so sad it breaks my heart. ‘Pandora.’ His lips go down to my ear. ‘I’m sorry. I- I-‘ He slams my hips against the cabin. ‘I tried. I really did. I tried so hard.’ He seems to be talking more to himself than to me. ‘I know I let you down,’ he whispers. ‘I know I did. But I thought- I thought- Just maybe-‘ He softly leans against me. ‘I hoped you might have waited for me.’  
‘I did.’ I push back tears. ‘I waited so long. But you left me there.’ It takes me such afford to talk.  
‘I didn’t want to.’ He looks at me. ‘I wanted to protect you.’  
‘You never could.’ I put my hand on his chest and softly push.  
‘Don’t say that.’ He puts his hand on mine. ‘I failed. I know I did.‘ I close my eyes. I just want this all to stop. ‘I failed. I ruined everything. I did-‘ I have to fight the urge to comfort him. I want to wrap my arms around him and make him feel good again.  
‘It wouldn’t have done any good. He never intended to stop. Even if you gave him what he wanted. The only reason father brought me here is because I was of no use to him anymore.’ I look at him. ‘Which meant you were either dead, or you didn’t care about me anymore.’  
He slams his hand against the cabin. ‘Don’t say that!’ he growls. It startles me. I look at the muscles of his jaw tense up and relax, just to tense up again. ‘Everything I ever did was to get you back.’ He looks at me intensely. ‘Everything. I did terrible things.’ He bows his head in shame and puts it against my shoulder. ‘I was willing to kill an entire species, just for you.’  
‘You didn’t,’ I whisper, shocked.  
‘I did. Well, I didn’t, but I was willing to.’  
‘Loki.’  
‘You know I don’t like it when you say my name like that.’ He puts his hands back on my waist. ‘I would’ve done it for you. I didn’t want to, but-‘ His cheek rubs against mine as he brings his head up. ‘I would have done it.’ He draws closer. I can feel his breath against my lips. It clouds my mind. I have to stay strong. Stay strong.  
‘I can’t do this,’ I tell him again. I break free from his grip and make my way to the door. If I won’t leave now, he’ll win.  
‘Pandora!’ he shouts. I stop in my tracks. ‘Please,’ he says, softer now. ‘Please, just hear me out,’ he begs.  
‘I will.’ I take a deep breath. ‘Another day.’ I open the door and go down the stairs.


	29. The story between the lines

A knocking wakes me up. ‘Pandora,’ it sounds softly from the other side of the door. ‘Pandora. Open up. Could you- Could you- Can you just open up?’ It continues. ‘Pandora.’ I quickly search for my nightgown. Where did I throw the damn thing?  
After looking through the whole room, I finally find it on a chair. I put it on and walk to the door. The soft pleas are still ongoing. ‘P-Pandora. Pandora. Please?’  
I open the door. Loki almost falls down. Apparently he had been leaning against the door. He corrects himself and somehow manages to keep standing. He looks me up and down. ‘My god…’  
I frown. ‘Are you drunk?’  
‘…You truly are beautiful. Even more so than- Than I remembered- You- You-‘  
‘Loki.’ He _is_ drunk, which is quite an accomplishment. According to himself. Once, he told me it didn’t matter if he drunk one or twenty pints of beer. He said Asgardians are a strong species. He wouldn’t get drunk that easily. The fact that he now is, must mean he drank a lot at the party. ‘You’re drunk. Go to your room,’ I whisper.  
‘You don’t- You- You can’t just- Decide- That you- You can’t.’ He slightly moves from side to side. ‘That’s not right. You can’t- Decide- That.’ He moves forward. I put my hand against his chest to stop him. ‘Don’t do that.’ He takes my hand. ‘Just let me- Let me convince you. I’ll convince you.’ He stumbles forward, moving me backwards.  
‘Loki.’ I free myself and move aside. He just continues walking. ‘You can’t be here. Go back to-‘ He lets himself fall down on my bed. I sigh. ‘Loki.’ I walk towards him. He reaches his hand towards me, which makes me stop.  
‘Come lay with me.’  
‘No, I won’t,’ I hiss. ‘Loki, I don’t want you here.’ His arm goes down. ‘You need to leave.’ Grandmaster can’t find him here. He might ruin everything. ‘Loki!’ I hiss again. He doesn’t respond. ‘Loki!’ I walk towards him. ‘Seriously?’ He’s asleep.  
I poke him, shake him, move him, but he’s out of it. I can’t move him. Not only do I not know which room is his, he’s also way too heavy for me to carry. I sigh. I guess I’d better close my door and sleep on the floor tonight.

When I wake up, I’m in bed. Loki is lying beside me. His arms around my waist, his face pushed against my hair. I can’t see him, but I know it’s him. I can smell him. I close my eyes. I can’t let myself enjoy the moment, even though I secretly already am. How often I dreamt about him beside me. I better end it now, before I can’t keep my feelings in hand. I move out of bed.  
He grabs my nightgown. ‘No,’ he mumbles. He pulls. ‘No.’ I look over my shoulder. He’s still asleep. ‘You promised,’ he mumbled. ‘You promised.’ He pulls again. ‘No. No. No.’ His pleas get more muggy. ‘No. Don’t- Don’t take her.’ I softly put my hand on his head. He’s all feverish. ‘Don’t- No!’ He gets up so quick he’s right in my face. I’m looking straight in his eyes. They’re filled with fear, but they are his eyes. No blue glance. Just the usual green, with golden spots. He’s all shaking and grabs my waist, just for a moment. His fingers softly go over my gown as he lets me go. He looks at me and I look back. The fear has left his eyes.  
He suddenly gets up and walks straight out the door.

I look at the door, the last place I got to see him. I feel like going after him. He was clearly not feeling well. It didn’t take him long to hide his feelings away again. He’s back to his old self. The person who makes everything into a joke, who challenges everything and everyone.  
I sigh and get up. I already miss him, something I shouldn’t do, but can’t help. I get undressed to take a shower. It always helps me calm down and order my thoughts. It might even help me think of a way to control my Loki-problem. I throw my gown on a chair at the other side of the room, but it slips down to the ground.  
I managed to sleep, even though I had been on the ground. Apparently even quite deep, since Loki managed to put me in bed without waking me up. I don’t think I’ve ever slept that deep.  
The door swings open. ‘You know what, _no_. I-‘ He stops in his tracks. I look at him in surprise. It takes me a second to remember I’m naked. I know I’m supposed to cover myself up, but ever since the naked torture, I’m not ashamed that quick anymore. Besides that, I can’t seem to move. His eyes are pierced into mine, as he tries not to look down.  
‘I- was about to take a shower.’ Why am I telling him that? I should yell at him, tell him to go away.  
‘Okay.’ He clears his throat, hearing how hoarse it is and trying to make it better somehow. ‘I- Er-‘ He suddenly turns around. ‘I- S-Should I-?’ He seems just as confused as I am. He bows down and takes my gown off the ground. He glances over his shoulder and slowly turns around, all the while keeping eye contact. He takes a step towards me, holds still and stares. Then he slowly lifts his hand and holds out my dress to me. I can see the tension in his body. _Every_ muscle is tense. I reach out and take my dress. My fingers accidently touch his hand. He looks down. He can’t help himself to look at my body as his eyes slowly lift. ‘I should-‘ He swallows. ‘I should definitely-‘ He looks up, almost begging me to tell him what to do. ‘Should I?’ I bring myself to nod. He nods back, in agreement. Still, he doesn’t move, he doesn’t do as he should. He just stands there, staring at me. He seems about as unable to do anything as I am. I’m just holding the gown pressed against my body. I know we should move, we should do something. Then why can’t I bring myself to do it?

‘You should-‘ I look at him.  
‘Yes.’ He suddenly steps forward, puts his hands on my waist, presses his lips on mine. He forces me to step back until my back is pushed against the wall. My lips automatically move along, as if they are used to getting kissed. His hands go down, grabbing my hips and pushing them forward, against his crotch. One of his hands goes down to my leg, lifting it up a bit.  
I push against his chest, making him back down slightly. He stops kissing me. His eyes are filled with passion. He’s still holding my leg. I know he will force me onto the bed if I don’t stop him now.  
‘Do you have any idea how long it took me to get over you?’ I say, underneath my breath.  
‘Forever. Because you’re clearly not over me.’ He moves closer again.  
‘Loki-‘  
‘You’re not over me,’ he whispers, bowing towards my neck. ‘I can tell by the way you look at me.’ His lips caress my skin. I can feel the goosebumps coming up. ‘I can tell by the way you move.’ They reach my ear. ‘You desperately want to, but you’re not. Thankfully.’ His nails softly pinch my leg. ‘I won’t let you get over me, even if I’d have to follow you all around the universe. I will never…’ He pushes me against the wall and brings his face in front of mine. ‘…ever, let you go again.’ He’s way to good with his words. It’s dangerous being around him. He could talk his way out of anything. ‘I promise you,’ he says. ‘Look at me.’ I look up at him. ‘I made you a promise. I tend to keep it. I _want_ to keep my promise to you.’  
‘Okay,’ I whisper. I believe him. Maybe it’s the way he talks, or the way he looks at me. Maybe it’s because I desperately want to believe him. Maybe he’s right and am I not over him.  
He slowly puts down my leg. ‘Okay?’ he asks, almost surprised.  
‘Okay.’ I nod. He puts his forehead against mine. ‘But we do need to talk,’ I say.  
‘I know.’  
‘We should-‘  
‘I know.’  
‘So maybe-‘  
‘Yeah.’ He nods lightly. ‘Just give me a moment.’  
I nod, knowing it might be more than a moment before his excitement lays down and his erection with it. ‘Okay.’ He can take all the time he needs. There’s a knock on the door. So maybe he can’t.


	30. The talk

I quickly push Loki towards the bathroom and give him a meaningful look. Whoever it is, they can’t see him. He makes a hand gesture to try and calm me down. I wave him away in return. There’s another knock. ‘I’ll be right there,’ I say. I close off the door behind Loki, just before putting on my nightgown. I get to the door and open it.  
‘Grandmaster is asking for you,’ Hilde says. She enters my room without asking, like always. ‘He asked if you could hurry.’ She starts cleaning up some of my things. ‘Something about him wanting you to meet someone.’  
I sigh. ‘Will you tell him I’ll be there as soon as possible. I need to take a shower and get some things in order.’  
Hilde looks up and frowns. ‘What’s going on?’  
‘Nothing, why?’  
‘You’re acting strange.’ She spends a lot of time with me, it doesn’t surprise me she notices a change.  
‘It’s nothing, really. I just had a little too much to drink last night.’ I find lying a lot easier, yet can’t seem to convince everyone.  
‘No you hadn’t, you left early,’ she says.  
‘The fact that I left early doesn’t mean I didn’t have too much to drink,’ I tell her. I could’ve easily gone downstairs to drink something in my room. She narrows her eyes. She opens the closet and puts some clean clothes in it. Then she walks past me to go into the bathroom. ‘I- Probably should go take that shower. That way I’ll be done quick and can I go to Grandmaster.’  
She holds still. ‘Sure, you do that. Let me just check if you have enough shampoo.’  
‘I do,’ I say quick. ‘I do have- Enough shampoo.’  
She looks at me, she knows I’m hiding something. ‘Pandora-‘  
‘Don’t ask,’ I say.  
‘Okay,’ she nods. ‘I trust you. If you don’t want me to know.’ I do want her to know, but I can’t let her know. It might make things a little more complicated. ‘I’ll tell Grandmaster you’ll come as soon as you can.’ She turns to leave.  
I want to say something, but I’m not sure what. I think it’s better to stay quiet and talk to her later on.

After she closes the door, I open the one to the bathroom. Loki looks up and smiles. ‘What did you do?’ I ask, suspicious. It’s exactly how I imagined he’d smile when he’s almost caught doing something.  
‘Nothing.’ He reaches out to me and pushes me against his chest.  
‘Sure,’ I say, not convinced.  
‘Your lying got a lot better,’ he says. I look up at him.  
‘Hmm, well yours didn’t change.’ I try to relax, but I’m too tense. I still can’t quite let go. ‘We should talk.’ I free myself from his grip and take a step back.  
‘I thought you wanted to take a shower?’  
‘I do want to take a shower.’ His eyebrows raise fairly quick. ‘I didn’t mean it like that.’  
‘I didn’t say anything.’ He smiles naughtily.  
‘You were thinking it.’  
‘That, I am guilty of,’ he admits. ‘You can’t blame me.’ He bites his lower lip as his eyes slowly go down. ‘We really should talk, right?’ He looks back up. I nod. ‘Well, let’s sit down.’ He walks past me, back into my bedroom and lays down on my bed. He looks comfortable, as if he has nothing to worry about. He’s on his side, one knee lifted and one hand supporting his head. He pats the spot beside him, telling me to come join him.

I sit down on the edge and look at him. He just looks at me, waiting for me to start talking. ‘How much did you drink last night?’ I ask. ‘Because you were really- Gone.’  
‘I was, wasn’t I.’ He laughs. ‘I had quite a few.’  
‘You used to tell me you were practically unable of getting drunk, so I would say it was a real achievement.’ I turn a bit, facing him more.  
He remains quiet for a moment. His expression turns serious. ‘I really meant it. I might have been drunk, but I meant it. I really wanted to do everything to get you out of there.’  
‘Loki-‘  
‘When they started torturing you-‘ He stops talking and looks away. ‘I couldn’t handle it.’  
‘Whenever I had to be there for your torture, I would just look at something else, focus on anything but you.’  
‘I couldn’t.’ He shakes his head. ‘I couldn’t.’  
‘I’ve watched a lot of people getting tortured,’ I tell him. ‘It wasn’t that hard to watch in the beginning, your torture. You were just- You were another one of our guests.’ He looks at me with those sad puppy eyes. How can it be that I can feel so much hate and love for someone’s eyes at the same time? I look away. They’re so distracting. ‘Then I got to know you and it started to become harder.’  
‘I thought you sought out every prisoner on their first night.’  
‘I did. On their first night. Maybe one or two more after that.’ I look at him.  
‘Why me?’ he asks.  
‘I don’t know. It’s the same as you staring and smiling at me from the moment you looked at me.’  
‘Because I thought-‘ He licks his lips. ‘I thought I recognized you. You reminded me of someone and I thought- I don’t know, maybe she had come for me.’ He puts his head on the pillow and looks at the ceiling. ‘It was stupid.’  
‘Who did I reminded you of?’ I ask.  
‘An old friend. Of my brother.’ His hand seeks out mine. I’m not sure if he does it consciously.  
‘Was she your girlfriend?’ I ask.  
He laughs immediately. ‘No.’ He sits up and gets closer to me in the process. ‘No, absolutely not. She’s good looking, I’ll give her that, but she has the manners of a man and is as interesting as a horses arse.’  
‘So fairly interesting, given the fact that you had sex with a horse once?’ I frown as I recall him saying that. I don’t know why I bring it up. Maybe because I want to know if he really means it. Maybe because the story is still haunting me in some ways. He was hallucinating, but somehow the story was too specific. It almost seemed real and I feel like we should talk about it. Maybe not now, but at some point.  
He turns red. ‘Well, she’s not that interesting. Let’s keep it at that.’ I didn’t think I would actually be able to make Loki feel uncomfortable, yet here we are. ‘But in a way you looked like her, at first glance. I thought she might have come to safe me. But then I looked closer and I found something a lot more interesting.’  
‘What?’  
‘You.’ He looks straight at me, no more blushing, no more smiling. ‘From the moment I actually looked at you, the second time I looked at you, I found something beautiful.’  
‘You’re just trying to get in my good graces.’  
‘Maybe a little, but I did find you interesting. I’m not sure why. Probably thought I could use you to get me out of there.’ He grins. ‘You thought the same thing, as it turns out.’ He looks away and plays with my fingers. Lifting them, caressing them, moving them from side to side. I don’t stop him. Simply because I don’t want to.

‘What happened?’ I can’t help but ask. ‘Why didn’t you come back for me?’  
‘I tried to do as your father had told me,’ he says. ‘But I failed. My brother showed up. He worked together with some men from Midgard and prevented me from succeeding. After that, the power the scepter had over me lifted. My brother took me prisoner and brought me home. He locked me up.’ He shakes his head. ‘I couldn’t get away. I tried. I really did everything to get out of there. But when I did, I figured I would need an army, to get to you. To defeat your father, your brothers and sisters. All his men.’ He looks down. ‘I tricked the people of Asgard into thinking I was my father. I took his place and-‘ He bites his lower lip. ‘I had some fun. I decided that, if I were to die, I might as well die after I enjoyed myself a bit.’ At least he’s being honest. He could’ve told me lies, about how he tried to find me. He couldn’t, of course, that would be why it took him so long. But he tells me he actually took time to enjoy himself instead. ‘Something- Someone, came in between. My brother returned. He hadn’t been home in a long time, but as soon as he did, he saw through my tricks and forced me to take him to our father.’ He pauses a moment. ‘This was yesterday.’  
I frown. He’s looking gloom. ‘What happened?’ I softly ask. I almost don’t dare to ask.  
He takes a deep breath. With it, I see his emotions disappear. ‘He died,’ he speaks as if it’s nothing. The fact that he does, means he’s hurting. I know he is, he just won’t admit it to himself. Or anyone else for that matter.  
I take his hand. ‘How?’  
He looks at our hands. ‘Can we- not talk about it?’  
I really wish we could. I nod. ‘Okay. Later, maybe?’  
‘Maybe.’ His fingers track some lines on my skin. ‘I shouldn’t have left you there. I’m sorry.’  
‘No,’ I say. I close my eyes. ‘I- I think it’s good. It’s okay.’ I take back my hand. He tries to stop me for a moment, but then just looks at it. ‘If you would have come back, you would be locked you up again.’ I swallow my tears away. ‘At least now, we’re both free.’ He looks at me. It’s hard for me to admit, but it might truly have been for the best. He never would’ve made it out there. I wouldn’t have either, probably.  
‘I guess,’ he whispers.  
‘I should take that shower,’ I tell him.  
‘Pandora.’ He comes a little closer. ‘Would you-‘  
‘I just-‘ I stop him from continuing. ‘I have been thinking you were letting me rot there. For months. I thought you were dead. I thought you might not love me anymore and-‘ I bite my lip and raise my hand. He wants to interrupt me, but I need to say this. ‘It took me long to get over you. And the moment I saw you, I was back to square one.’  
‘Pandora.’  
‘I just need some time to, rethink everything. To think about what you have said. Because, everything I believed has just changed.’  
He slowly nods. ‘Okay.’ His fingers strike my arm. ‘I’ll give you time. If that’s what you need.’ I can see he doesn’t like it. He’s hurt, but he still agrees to it.


	31. Unnoticeable you

‘Grandmaster,’ I say, while walking up to the dining table. He’s still enjoying his breakfast. I took a short shower, to make sure I could get here as quick as possible.  
‘Pandora.’ He smiles widely. I smile back. He might be a strange man, but he is kind and caring. He gives more than he takes. I look at the people that are sitting at the table. Beside Grandmaster is a man I don’t know. He has purple skin, like father, but he is not as tall and muscular. Beside him sits a lady, also someone I don’t know. Then there’s Kolde and Hosha. The first chair on Grandmaster’s other side is empty. It’s my chair. Beside my chair sits Loki. He’s staring at me, like always. Beside him is Jojina, then Moris and the last chair is filled by Jorja, a new girl. She came to Sakaar only three days ago. She’s the daughter of some rich and powerful man, which means Grandmaster takes good care of her.  
‘I’ve introduced you to Loki yesterday, did I not?’ he asks me.  
‘Yes you did Grandmaster,’ I say. I look at Loki.  
‘Of course.’ He looks at the man and lady I don’t know. ‘I believe I have not introduced Marcus and Paray?’ He looks back at me.  
‘No, you did not,’ I answer.  
‘Marcus is a great musician and Paray is his manager,’ he smiles at me.  
‘It is very nice to meet you.’ I nod. They look like kind people. I sit down and start filling my plate. ‘When did you arrive?’ I ask. They’re probably here because they want to perform on Grandmaster’s parties. Which would exactly be why I need to meet them. I prepare everything for his party. Of course he can tell me what he wants, but he trust me to choose the right things. If I believe Marcus isn’t good enough to perform on one of his parties, he won’t be booked.  
‘This morning,’ Marcus answers.  
‘Did you have a good journey?’ I look up a moment, before looking down to get my meal ready.  
‘We did, thank you for asking,’ Paray says. Her voice is soft and has a nice tune to it. If Grandmaster hadn’t told me, I would’ve thought she was the musician.  
‘I was wondering if you could help them find their way around. Loki too, of course. Maybe show them the city?’ Grandmaster looks at me and smiles. There’s probably more going on beside them wanting to perform, although I’m not sure what exactly.  
‘Of course Grandmaster.’ I start eating my breakfast. I normally would’ve thought out a route to walk with them. The perfect way to show them every great aspect of Sakaar. But I can’t put my mind to it. It keeps on going back to the fact that Loki is sitting right beside me at this very moment. I can’t help but look up at him. He’s looking back at me. I look back down at my plate. I shouldn’t have looked at him, because I’m pretty sure it has just jumpstarted my already beating heart.  
‘You left early last night, didn’t you dear?’ Grandmaster gets me out of my thoughts.  
‘Yes, I’m sorry. There was a small, personal emergence I had to tend to.’ I keep myself from glancing over at Loki.  
‘Were you able to fix it?’ Grandmaster asks.  
‘Yes, of course.’  
‘Good.’ He turns to Marcus and starts up a conversation with him.  
I look at Loki from the corner of my eyes. He’s glancing over at me now and then, trying to do it as unnoticeable as possible. He doesn’t quite succeed.

‘He likes you!’ Hosha noticed. I knew already. She couldn’t stop grinning at the dinner table and walked right after me as soon as I left.  
‘What makes you thing that?’ I ask, trying to pretend that I didn’t notice.  
‘Don’t pretend you didn’t see. He was staring at you. I can’t blame him to be honest.’ She moves some of my hair over my shoulder and plays with it. ‘If you weren’t a Garano I’m sure I would’ve already made a move on you.’ I feel my head burn, which is exactly why she tells me this. She wants to make me blush. ‘But the way he looks at you.’ She smiles widely. ‘I think he’s definitely falling for you.’  
‘That’s ridiculous, we barely know each other.’  
‘That doesn’t matter. Could just as well be love at first sight.’ She winks.  
‘Which only means he has no idea of what I am.’  
‘I’m pretty sure Grandmaster told him last night.’  
‘Pretty sure?’  
‘Yes, absolutely sure.’ I sigh. She has no idea she makes two different assumptions.  
‘Why would Grandmaster even tell him such things?’ I get into the elevator.  
‘He wanted to know about you. I think he was under the impression you and Grandmaster were intimate.’ She giggles.  
‘We are intimate, just not in the sexual way,’ I say. I look at our reflection. The elevator consists mostly out of mirrors. It can be awkward looking down.  
‘Of course, but he didn’t know that now did he?’ she smiles and looks at our reflections too. ‘He likes you. Believe me, I have an eye for it. If he has the chance, he’ll probably make a move on you.’ She bumps her shoulder against mine. ‘Wouldn’t you like that? He’s a good looking guy, right?’ She looks straight at me this time.  
‘He is,’ I whisper.  
‘And he has a nice low voice.’ I look up at her. ‘Oh, I remembered. You fall for the voice. So how about his? Has his voice got you all tingling down t-‘  
‘Hosha,’ I stop her. I couldn’t feel more uncomfortable.  
‘Okay, sorry.’ She grins. ‘Just figured you might actually find a man. You’ve got a long live ahead of you, you might as well enjoy yourself.’ The doors open at her floor and she gets out. ‘Consider it, Grandmaster will probably be more than willing to give him to you if he finds out you’re in-‘ the doors close before she can finish her sentence.  
I sigh. She can be such a pain. She means well, Hilde keeps on telling me that, but she has no boundaries.  
‘Well she’s a blast.’ I let out a squeak in surprise and automatically attack. I hit him in the face and kick him in his stomach. ‘Stop! Stop! It’s me!’ He yells. He protects his face, but leaves room for me to look at him.  
‘Dammit Loki!’ He moves away his arms and I hit him against his chest, much softer. ‘What are you doing here?’  
‘She was following you.’  
‘So?’ I frown.  
‘I wanted to make sure you were okay.’ He looks at me. I stare back. ‘You clearly are.’  
‘I am,’ I confirm.  
‘I figured.’ He smiles slyly. ‘Sorry.’  
I stare at him. He’s looking guilty, even though he didn’t do anything wrong. ‘You shouldn’t be.’ I turn away, only to look at him through the mirror. His hands are moving, just the slightest bit. I look back over my shoulder. There’s so much I want to tell him, but I don’t say any of those things. ‘I’ll come right down. I just need to get something from my room.’ He nods, unable to do anything more. ‘You just go down again and wait for me.’ He nods again.  
The doors open and I leave the elevator. I watch Loki until the doors have closed again.


	32. The closer we get

Loki stays close. I can always feel him lingering behind me, beside me. It is annoyingly nice. He barely ever touches me. Now and then a soft hand on my lower back, as if to guide me. He has done so as we walked through the city with Marcus and Paray. They all walked beside me. Only when we entered narrow streets we needed to walk behind one another. Loki would somehow always manage to get Marcus and Paray to walk behind us. I couldn’t concentrate and just took them to the most local places. I took them to the square, even though there wouldn’t be a market today, there is always plenty to do. Beside that I took them to the arena. I told them I wasn’t involved in the fights, so I wasn’t really able to tell them much about it, but the current favorite was a very strong and wild creature. From what I heard about him he is supposable savage and has no mercy. Which probably is why Grandmaster likes him. After going to the arena I took them to some of the stores.

‘I’ll see you at dinner time. If there’s anything you need, please do ask me or one of the servants,’ I tell them as soon as we get back.  
‘Thank you,’ Marcus says. He smiles at me. It’s a charming smile, but I’m sure he means nothing by it. I nod and leave.  
‘I- Er-‘ Loki quickly follows me. I stop and look at him, waiting for him to talk. He seems to try to find a reason to do so. ‘I tend to get lost,’ he tells me. ‘Would you mind giving me a tour?’ He looks so hopeful.  
A moment I doubt. ‘I don’t mind,’ I tell him. He’s Grandmaster’s guest after all. I was asked to take care of him. He smiles a bit. ‘Follow me,’ I tell him. He gladly does so. ‘The main parts you already know. The great hall, where we dine,’ I point out the door. He nods. ‘Over here is the kitchen,’ I say. I take him along to the kitchen. There are some people working on lunch. Some look up to great us. I smile and simply nod. ‘You can come here whenever you like. They’re always willing to give you some food or something to drink when you ask for it.’ I lead him to one of the other doors. There are four: the one we came through, two to the great hall and one to a back room, where there’s a door to the back yard and an elevator. That way everyone can easily go up and down to bring food up. It’s a more exclusive elevator. ‘This is the elevator you entered yesterday.’  
‘Really?’  
‘Yes, it can open from both this side as well as the other. At the other side is the corridor we just walked through.’ I look at him while pushing the button. ‘It only goes up to the top four floors. Which includes Grandmasters penthouse. You’ve been there of course.’ He nods.  
‘You’re two floors down, right?’ I nod. ‘Why aren’t you at the one straight beneath Grandmaster’s penthouse?’ he asks.  
‘Because I asked if I could live two floors down.’  
He frowns. ‘Why?’ He looks at me while we enter the elevator. ‘For as far as I understood Grandmaster’s most loyal and trusted men live on the floor right beneath the penthouse.’  
‘You heard right,’ I tell him. ‘The thing is, when you’re right underneath the penthouse, you won’t be able to sleep all night. At least when there’s a party ongoing.’  
‘And Grandmaster likes his parties,’ Loki says. He nods.  
‘Besides, most fun things are on my floor. A large pool, the gym, the library.’ The doors close.  
‘The library,’ he repeats. ‘Of course.’ He looks down and smiles, thinking I won’t see. ‘Will you show it to me?’  
‘The library?’  
‘Yes.’  
‘Of course, why do you think we’re going up?’ I smile at him. I know him. He was craving for books when he was locked up. He was bored. I used to recite poems to him. Everything I could remember. I look at him. ‘You’re looking good. Healthy,’ I tell him. ‘Still a bit pale.’ I smile. ‘But you’re looking good.’  
He smiles back at me. There’s a ping and the doors open. I get out, knowing he was about to say something. He quickly follows.

‘So, are we allowed to talk about…’ He looks around. ‘…It?’  
I open the door to the library and get in. After he enters too, I close off the door. ‘Is that why you wanted me to show you everything? Because you want to talk?’  
‘Maybe? If we could?’ He shrugs.  
‘I thought you just wanted to be around me.’  
‘That too.’ He walks up to one of the bookcases and lets his slender fingers go over the books. ‘He doesn’t have much.’  
‘He has plenty.’ I watch him walk around. ‘But a lot of girls here like to read.’ He looks up. ‘Most of the books are romans, comedies. Some are action or informative.’ He continues walking and looks at the books. ‘They’re fun, but I prefer something else. Which is why I often buy books.’  
‘Why doesn’t that surprise me.’ He smiles.  
‘Because you saw my room?’ I look over my shoulder. ‘So you’ve seen the books I keep there.’  
‘I did,’ he answers. He takes out one of the books. He reads the cover and puts it back in.  
‘If you like you can also borrow my books.’ I look at him. I’ve read many of these books, so I know most of them probably aren’t interesting to him.  
‘I’d like that.’ He walks back to me. He’s suddenly really close. ‘I know you need time and I know that means you probably don’t want me around. But I can’t help myself when asking.’ He takes a deep breath. ‘Because I want to be around you and that won’t stop.’ He shakes his head. ‘So if I ask you, to do things like this- To give me a tour. You are- Allowed- To say no.’ His fingers touch mine.  
‘I know.’ I look away. I don’t want to admit that it’s hard for me to turn him away. The more time I spend with him, the harder it gets to remain angry. The harder it becomes to think straight. I don’t even think I’ll have any choice when it comes to him. The way he makes me feel tops everything. It’s stronger than the pain that I have left.  
‘Good,’ he whispers. I look up. His face is really close. He’s looking up and down. I know he’s thinking about kissing me.  
I put my hand on his chest. ‘You can’t,’ I whisper. ‘Did Grandmaster tell you I’m a Garano?’ I look up at him. If Grandmaster did, Loki knows it’s a lie. He knows because he kissed me many times before. But it’s important that he knows nonetheless.  
‘He did.’ He gets a bit closer. ‘He told me what you told him,’ he whispers in my ear. ‘I know you have to keep up appearance.’ His lips touch the skin of my neck. ‘But you’re making it really hard on me.’ He kisses my neck again, leaving a little bit of saliva on my skin.  
‘Loki,’ I whisper. I softly push against his chest. ‘You need to stop now.’ If he won’t stop now, I’m sure we’ll get lost again. Somehow it seems to be harder to resist him ever since we’ve parted. Before, it was easier to react rational. We can’t seem do that anymore.  
‘I know,’ he whispers. He pulls back. There’s a big smile on his face.  
‘Why are you smiling?’ I ask.  
‘Because at least I now know I have a chance.’ He gets a hand through my hair and then caresses my cheek. ‘That’s a good thing to know.’  
I take a deep breath. ‘Let’s just continue the tour, before you do another stupid thing.’  
His smile widens. He steps aside. ‘After you.’


	33. It's in the eyes

'I told you he likes you,’ Hosha says. I look at Loki. He’s talking to Grandmaster, seeming very relaxed. He has only been here for three days. It annoys me to the bone, but I didn’t even manage to make it two days before he had me in his grip again. That might sound harsh, but in a way it is. I still feel a lot of pain looking at him, mostly because a part of me still feels like I shouldn’t trust him. I want to and I know it would mean the world to him if I did again, but somehow I’m afraid he’ll leave and I’ll end up alone again. Being around him makes me doubt myself. But he continuously sought me out and I couldn’t push him away. Loki looks over and I smile automatically. I might not be completely okay with it, but god I love him. He smiles back.  
‘You like him too, don’t you?’ Hosha whispers. ‘You shine whenever you look at him.’  
Grandmaster and Loki come walking our way. ‘Ladies,’ Grandmaster says. He kisses Hosha on the cheek and then caresses mine. Loki watches closely. ‘It’s always good to have you here.’ Grandmaster smiles at Hosha. ‘Were you having an interesting conversation?’  
‘Quite,’ Hosha says. She looks over at me.  
‘Gossip?’ Grandmaster rubs his hands.  
‘A little speculation.’ Hosha giggles.  
‘About our handsome friend over here?’ Grandmaster casually puts his arm over Loki’s shoulder. ‘Because he has been looking over at the two of you ever since he came in.’  
Loki smiles shyly.  
‘He has?’ Hosha plays dumb. ‘Well I feel flattered.’ She smiles and blinks her eyes a few times. ‘Although I’m sure he’s more interested in Pandora.’ She hooks her arm into mine. ‘According to Paray he barely left her side when she gave them the tour.’ They are actually gossiping about Loki and me while we’re standing there.  
‘So I’ve heard,’ Grandmaster says. He smiles. ‘And apparently he asked for a tour through the house after that.’ He smiles at Loki. ‘You crook.’ He laughs. ‘Don’t forget she’s mine to keep.’ He winks at me. ‘Although she deserves her fun, it’s not the same as we have it.’ He looks back and forth between Loki to me.  
‘Yes, you told me. Though I don’t mind.’ He glances over at Grandmaster, before looking back at me. I smile a little. I still don’t quite know how to act around him when we’re in public. When did it all become this difficult?

‘If only Kolde would still look at me the way he looks at you,’ Hosha sighs. She leans with her head against mine. Loki just went off to get us some drinks. Grandmaster tried to convince him we could ask someone to fetch it for us, but he insisted on getting it. Probably because they keep talking about us as if we’re not really there. Or at least as if we’re not listening.  
‘He does look at you as if he has loved you for years,’ Grandmaster tells me.  
‘It’s romantic.’  
‘Maybe we should send you two out on a date.’  
‘Oh Grandmaster, no really-‘ I try to stop him. Going on a date with Loki would be suicide. I’m pretty sure it would end with him kissing me, while he technically shouldn’t be allowed to kiss me.  
‘That’s a marvelous idea!’ Hosha almost screams. ‘You should send them to that fancy place at the plaza.’  
‘Hikorbi?’ Grandmaster guesses.  
‘Exactly. I can already see them dancing and enjoying some wine, talking till late and walking back, hand in hand,’ she sighs.  
‘You really read too much of those bad romance books,’ I tell her.  
She simply ignores me. ‘He’s probably a real gentleman,’ she continues. ‘Opening doors to her, getting the best wine, trying to impress her with his dance moves.’  
‘No, it’s not going to happen. He has no idea what he’s getting in to,’ I tell them. ‘You really think a man like him could handle no sex, no kissing. He’s not like me and that means he won’t be able to handle what I am.’ They both look at me. ‘That’s often how it works. Even if he thinks he can, he won’t. I’ve seen it before.’ I look over at Loki, who’s coming our way.  
‘Always so serious,’ Grandmaster sighs. ‘It’s a reason I love you, but you need to let loose a little.’ Loki overhears and frowns. Such a jealous man. He looks over at me and starts handing over drinks.  
‘Thank you,’ I say. He smiles at me.  
I look down. I feel uncomfortable being with him in this company. Mostly because I can’t be myself with him. Not in public. ‘How about a dance?’ Hosha asks Grandmaster.  
‘Oh, how I love to dance.’ He takes her hand and leads her to the dancefloor. They now and then take a sip from their drink. I watch them while Grandmaster turns Hosha and she laughs.  
‘At last, alone,’ Loki says. He goes and stands next to me.  
‘Not really,’ I tell him.  
‘No, but at least we can talk without anyone listening in,’ he strikes a lock of hair behind my ear.  
‘Talk, not act,’ I say. I look at him. He’s so close.  
He smiles. ‘You’re right. But there’s no harm in a little contact.’ He takes a sip from his drink. ‘They seem pleased with the idea of you and me together.’  
‘They do.’ I watch Grandmaster almost throwing his drink in someone’s hair, just because he feels like lifting his arms in the air.  
‘Then why not give them what they want?’ I look up at Loki. He’s looking at me intensely. ‘Since it’s also something we want. Isn’t it?’ I take a deep breath. ‘We don’t have to hurry into anything,’ he tells me. ‘That would probably even raise suspicion.’ I feel his free hand on my lower back. ‘But you can’t tell me this isn’t something you’ve dreamed about. Us, together, free.’ He finally looks away, giving me the freedom to do the same. ‘We could really make this our home,’ he tells me. ‘I wouldn’t even need the power. I mean- It would be nice.’ I can’t help but grin. ‘But I wouldn’t need to be king. If you were to tell me not to.’ He looks at me and I look back. ‘You want to be with me. I want to be with you. Just admit to it and we can be happy.’  
I sigh. ‘You are way too good with words.’ He laughs. ‘You are.’ I take a sip. ‘Now how about you shush and take me out to dance.’ He smiles and offers me his hand.  I put down my drink and take his hand. The least I can do is take a leap of faith.


	34. Walking on tip toes

‘Where are you off to?’ I get pulled back into bed. ‘Not just yet.’  
‘Hmwh- I need to go and meet Topaz for training and you need to get out of here, now that it’s still early.’ My words might say one thing, but my actions say something else. I push myself closer to his body and let myself get caged by his arms. I can spare 15 more minutes. ‘Because they can’t see you get out of here.’  
‘Why?’ He kisses my neck. ‘We didn’t do anything. Yet.’  
‘Not thanks to you.’ His arms wrap closer around my body. ‘Men are evil beings, only thinking about sex.’  
‘Hmm, you’re right. Us evil men.’ He softly bites my shoulder. I giggle. ‘Wanting only pleasurable things. Seeking fun.’ He bites again, a little harder this time.  
‘Yes, you terrible, terrible men. Getting us drunk-‘  
‘You got yourself drunk.’  
‘Humiliating us-‘  
‘I didn’t think you could laugh like that. It was adorable though.’ He grins, I can hear it in his voice.  
‘Letting us fall-‘  
‘Okay now hold up, that wasn’t my fault. I tried to catch you.’ He turns me in his arms. I work along with him and wrap my leg around his hip.  
‘Taking advantage by getting in bed with us.’ His hand goes over my leg. ‘Kissing us.’  
‘Hmm-mm,’ he confirms. I don’t think he’s really listening anymore.  
I bow towards his ear. ‘Trying to seduce us. Until they get what they want.’  
‘Oh, those evil men,’ he whispers. ‘Not me though.’  
‘Not you?’ I repeat. I smile. He did bring me home like a gentleman. He put me in bed and stayed with me. It was a nice and warm night with nothing more but cuddling, but I can’t help but tease him.  
‘Not me,’ he mumbles.  
‘Such a gentleman.’ I take some distance to look at him. He has his eyes closed. I stare at him nonetheless. He promised we’d go slow. I might have gotten drunk last night –mostly because Grandmaster kept pushing drinks on me-, but I still remember what happened.

‘You smell nice,’ I tell him. He laughs. ‘Stop laughing, I’m serious.’ I can’t help but smile. I haven’t actually heard him laugh before. He’s got such a nice laugh. He should do it more.  
His eyes open. He takes my face between his hands and puts a kiss on my lips. ‘I should go,’ he says, before I have even opened my eyes. He climbs out of bed and looks at me. He’s still wearing his pants, just like I’m still wearing my dress. He truly only brought me to bed last night. He picks up his shirt. He absolutely must have trained after he left earth 616. He is much more muscular than I can remember. ‘We should do something this afternoon,’ he says. He takes his hair out of his shirt in a swift movement. ‘Isn’t there a market today?’ I nod, looking at his every move. ‘How about I take you there?’  
I smile. ‘Do you even know where it is?’  
‘No, but you do.’ He puts on his belt. He removed it yesterday, due to the weapons that are on it. Wouldn’t want him accidently stabbing me or himself while sleeping.  
‘But doesn’t that mean I would be taking you to the market?’ I lean with my head against my arm and look up to his face after he finished putting his belt on. He seems amused.  
‘Don’t burst my bubble. Just let me take you out.’ He bows forward and gives me a kiss. ‘Now, you’re lying on my cape.’ He softly pulls a bit of fabric that’s under my body. I move and let him take it. ‘So, this afternoon, we will be going to the market and we will grab some lunch together.’ He takes a book from my shelf.  
‘Lunch?’  
‘Yes.’  
‘That wasn’t part of the deal.’ I watch him walk around the bed and eventually turn to the other side to make sure I can keep on looking at him.  
‘It is now.’ He smiles. ‘Or I’ll tell Grandmaster I’ve spend the night with you.’  
‘You evil, evil man.’ He laughs and then leaves without saying another word.

After Loki leaves, I get up and get changed. I always meet with Topaz on Tuesday and Thursday. We meet early, because the two of us have a lot to do at day. Especially Topaz. I still have some spare time, she spends most of her day with Grandmaster.  
Yesterday was quite nice. Even Topaz seemed to be able to laugh at one point. I shouldn’t let it happen too often, but it was nice to let go a bit. I’m not used to doing so. With father I had to watch my every move. I smile as I remember how Loki and I danced. It was such fun. I must’ve stepped on his toes a few times, but if I did, he didn’t show.  
I put my hair in a ponytail and leave my room to get to the gym. It’s mostly used by people who want to stay fit, not for people who want to practice fighting. Which is why it’s often quiet.  
Grandmaster was such fun yesterday. Even though he tried to get me drunk. He stayed around us for a while. He started up karaoke, which I enjoyed. He probably told Loki to take me out on a date, even though I told him I didn’t want to. I remember dancing with Grandmaster too. I’m pretty sure he grabbed my bottom a few times. I hope I didn’t ruin it for myself, telling him things I shouldn’t have.  
I open up the door. Topaz isn’t here yet. I still have about ten minutes left, so I get into the bathroom to throw some water in my face. I do so to make sure I have no sleep left in my eyes.

Loki convinced me to give us another chance. Of course he has been working towards it ever since he got here and I didn’t even really had a chance to decline. But he truly convinced me. He told me we would live for years to come, we both had been through a lot and we probably had a more coming. Especially since father knows exactly where I am. So we might as well make the best of it and enjoy ourselves. Maybe we wouldn’t work out. Maybe I would find out I couldn’t bare trusting him again, but didn’t that mean we couldn’t at least try? It would take time for me to get over it, he said he understood, but he figured that while we wait for me to figure out what I want, we should just enjoy being together. He knows I enjoy being with him, just as he enjoys being with me. It’s a strange way of looking at our situation, but in a way it sounded kind of nice too.  
I turn off the water and go back into the gym. We might still need to hide ourselves from Grandmaster, but we found a way of being together. Loki would tell him he has been in a relationship with a Garano before, that it was actually the thing that made him find me interesting in the first place. He would’ve asked questions to make sure I was actually a Garano, since there were a lot of people lying about it. As soon as he found out the details worked out, he wanted to get to know me. He never loved anyone the way he loved his former girlfriend, who died not long after our planet exploded. She just couldn’t bare the pain of losing her whole family. Garano’s are much more intense in their emotions, which is why Loki is much more interested in my species. He found the relationship more intense and real. There might not actually be sex involved, but he knows the ways of pleasuring, since he is already known with my species. It would get some problems out of the way, if everything goes right.

The door opens and Topaz enters. ‘Good morning,’ I tell her.  
‘Morning,’ she says. She walks to the weapons and seeks one out. I take out my knives. I haven’t actually used them before, but since I have been scavenging for armor. No one would notice.  
She takes out a spear. She never managed to beat me, even though I didn’t even do my very best. I didn’t expect anything else, to be honest. I’ve often fought with Nebula and Gamora. Fathers children are better at fighting than anyone else I’ve ever met. They grow up learning how to fight, they are forced to do so, otherwise they die. If you’re not strong enough, father will eventually kill you himself.  
Topaz looks at the knives. ‘You sure you want to go with those?’  
‘Sure,’ I tell her. ‘I might grab a sword in the process, but for now, I’ll go with these.’ I turn them a few times.  
‘Your choice. But if you decide you can go for a sword during the fight…’ She lifts the spear. ‘…then so can I.’  
‘Agreed.’ I keep her alert. She knows I can help her improve, even though she can’t beat me. She stabs with the spear. I dodge and smile. ‘I guess that means we’ve started.’


	35. Pain and relief

I take a deep breath before opening the door. Loki is standing in front of the door, with flowers in his hand. He’s wearing a black suit. All black. He smiles as he sees me.  
‘You brought me flowers?’ I say, surprised.  
‘Yes.’  
‘That’s sweet.’ He hands me the flowers. They are golden flowers with a pit black corn. ‘Did the girls tell you to give me flowers?’ I ask.  
‘No?’ I look at him. He’s not that convincing.  
‘I read one of those bad romance books.’ He shrugs.  
I chuckle. ‘I thought you borrowed one of mine.’ I search and eventually simply use the glass on my bedside table.  
‘I finished it.’ I look up at him. ‘It was boring,’ he continues.  
‘Then why did you continue?’ I ask.  
‘Because I-‘ I wait for him to continue. ‘I- Have never been on a date before.’ He looks away.  
I walk towards him and wrap my arms around his waist. ‘That’s okay,’ I tell him. ‘At least we can both be bad at it together.’ He chuckles and wraps his arms around me. He smells nice. Did he put on cologne? ‘Shall we?’ I ask. He nods, slowly lets me go and offers me his arm. I gladly take it.  
We enter the corridor, where a few people have come to stare at us. It’s very irritating. Don’t they have something better to do? We enter the elevator, at which point we’re finally alone.  
‘So,’ I start. ‘You’ve never been on a date before?’ I look up at him.  
‘No.’ He looks back at me. ‘Girls never were that into me.’  
‘Now you’re just exaggerating. I’m sure girls were into you.’  
‘No, they preferred my brother.’ He shrugs. It probably frustrated him. He almost always speaks lightly about things when he has strong feelings about them. That’s his way of coping.  
‘I bet you there were girls head over heels for you,’ I tell him, looking at our reflection in the mirror. 'You were probably just too busy reading to notice them.’  
He opens his mouth, turns to me, frowns and then turns back without saying anything.  
‘I never went on a date either, but you knew that.’  
‘Of course.’ I look at him from the corner of my eyes. He’s still frowning, probably trying to figure out of he might have missed a girl that liked him. I softly touch his hand, which makes him look up. The frown finally disappears, making room for a gentle smile.  
The doors open and we leave the elevator. If we’re lucky, no one will bother us. If we’re not, the rumor might have spread and people will “coincidentally” show up everywhere.  
We manage to leave without anyone popping up to watch us leave.

‘This is the market?’ He asks. I nod. ‘It’s large, yes, but it’s mostly junk.’ He looks at me.  
‘People make the best with what they have. We’ve got a lot of junk lying around, so they recycle it,’ I tell him.  
‘You should see the Asgardian markets,’ he tells me. ‘That’s a market.’  
‘Don’t be such a party pooper.’  
He laughs. ‘A party pooper?’  
‘Yes, that’s what Grandmaster always says when someone tries to ruin his fun. A party pooper.’  
‘Such a refined taste of words you have,’ he tells me. He pulls me a bit closer. He’s feeling a bit warm.  
‘I’m lucky to have a gentleman like you by my side, at least you will prevent me from doing idiotic things.’ I fight the urge to put my head against his shoulder and look around.  
‘Unlike those evil, evil men,’ he whispers in my ear.  
I chuckle. ‘Yes, indeed.’  
We walk to the fountain, which indicates that we’re at the middle of the square. I sit down at the edge and expect him to do the same.  
‘I haven’t had the chance to ask,’ Loki says. ‘Have you been here long?’  
‘About six months now,’ I tell him.  
‘Six months,’ he repeats softly. ‘And before that…’  
‘I have been locked up,’ I tell him softly. I look down at the water as I recall how my family treated me for over nineteen months.  
‘All that time?’ He asks me. I nod in answer. There are fish in the water, a few flowers, most deadly. They move as the fountain spits out its water into the tub. The statue, out of which the water flows, is a surrealistic piece, which, according to stories, stands for a second life. Most people that come her start up a new life, a second life. Loki gently takes my hand. I look up at him. He doesn’t say anything, which feels kind of nice. I look back at the water, simply holding his hand.

After a few minutes, I look up. ‘Shall we eat?’ I ask.  
‘That sounds good.’ He gets up, without letting go of my hand. He softly pulls me as I get up myself. ‘I heard about this restaurant, Hikorbi.’  
I chuckle. ‘So Grandmaster _did_ push you to ask me out?’  
‘No,’ he says. He seems legitimately surprised. ‘He did tell me about the restaurant though.’  
I softly pinch his hand. ‘Then he might have heard about you asking me.’ Grandmaster or Hosha will probably be spying on us if we go to Hikorbi. ‘I know a nice place. It might not be as fancy, but I’m sure we’d have a lot more privacy.’  
‘Privacy is good.’ He looks at me. Of course he prefers privacy. ‘But are you sure you wouldn’t like to be a bit pampered?’  
‘I never liked to be pampered,’ I tell him.  
‘That’s because you’ve never experienced it the right way.’ He smiles wide. ‘I’ve met your family, they’d never treat you the way you deserve to. So, let me do it for a change.’  
‘Maybe someday, but right now, I would be happy with just the two of us and a nice meal,’ I smile back at him.  
He shrugs. ‘As you wish. But on our next date, I will spoil you rotten.’ I chuckle. He’s a secret sweetheart. ‘So, where to?’ he asks. Once more I’m bringing us to our next destination. ‘I’ll let you take the lead.’ I softly pull his hand, to get him to follow me. Not that it’s that hard, he loves follow me around.

I pull him into a small street, after which we turn a few corners and get to the restaurant. It isn’t far from the plaza, but it’s a lot less crowded.  
‘This is it?’ he asks. He frowns.  
‘It isn’t impressive looking from the outside, I know, but they’ve got good food.’ I take him inside. It’s a small restaurant. There are bottles in all sorts of colors hanging on the ceiling. The walls are light yellow and there is a picture of Grandmaster on the wall. The tables are perfectly made for two persons. They’re all set with red tablecloths, bronze cutlery, simple plates and glasses and a nice, white napkins.  
‘This looks kind of nice,’ Loki says, not all that convinced.  
I chuckle. ‘It’s much better at night. They put on the bottles, which are filled with light, so the room fills up with colors.’ We greet the host and let him lead us to one of the tables in the back. ‘Thank you,’ I tell him.  
Loki moves back a chair for me to sit on. I look at him. ‘Thank you,’ I say. I sit down as he slides the chair forward. He smiles and takes place opposite me. The host hands us a menu.  
‘Can I offer you something to drink in the meantime?’ he asks.  
‘Your best bottle of wine, please.’ I look up at Loki. It’s barely two and he already wants to drink? The waiter leaves and Loki looks at me. ‘It’s always time for wine, right?’ He looks a bit shy. He’s probably just as nervous as I am.  
‘So, did you enjoy yourself yesterday?’ I ask, referring to the party.  
‘I did,’ I tell him. ‘Does he often throw parties like that?’  
‘Very often,’ I answer. ‘Now and then he wants a themed party, but it’s often a simple, fancy party.’ Yesterday was quite a normal party. Nothing special.  
‘And you organize them, right? That’s why Grandmaster introduced you to Marcus?’ He looks at the menu.  
‘Yes. He tells me what he wants and I get it for him. We don’t always do it his way though, because sometimes what he wants is just…’ I shake my head. ‘…bad.’  
‘Bad?’ Loki smiles.  
‘Yes, he once wanted me to hire guys that were covered in tattoo’s and piercings…’ I tell him. ‘…That breathed fire...’ I look at him. ‘…And did tricks.’  
‘What’s wrong with that?’ Loki is trying to keep from laughing.  
‘They set the curtains on fire while auditioning.’ I sigh. ‘And the pillows, and a couch.’  
‘And Grandmaster still wanted them?’  
‘He wanted to redecorate anyway,’ I say. Loki starts laughing. ‘But I didn’t agree on it. So we didn’t do it.’

‘You remember me of my mom.’ He closes his eyes in disbelieve. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean- I really should keep quiet.’  
‘No, that’s okay. You were close with your mom, so I guess that’s a good thing.’ I smile at him. ‘Why do I remind you of her?’  
‘If my dad- Adoptive dad- If he wanted anything, and my mom disagreed…’ He smiles widely. ‘…He wouldn’t get it.’ He looks at me. ‘She was the only one that could actually tell Odin what he could and couldn’t do. I guess she was that way with all of us. One day, Thor was constantly knocking books out of my hands. She saw and yelled at him. It was amazing. But then I laughed at him and she started yelling at me, saying how I should be more assertive.’ He smiles. ‘She might’ve yelled, but she meant well.’ He finally looks at me, actually looks at me. ‘She was an amazing woman.’  
‘Was?’ I repeat.  
He looks back down. ‘She died, when I tried to escape.’  
‘I’m sorry,’ I say softly. ‘How did it happen?’  
‘It was my fault. One of the prisoners escaped, I figured it might lead to my freedom and I send him off to go to my father and brother.’ He seems to be thinking back to the events. ‘I never meant for her to get hurt.’ He shakes his head.  
‘It wasn’t your fault.’ He looks up. ‘You couldn’t have predicted that she would get killed.’ I take his hand from over the table. ‘She knew you never meant to hurt her.’  
‘The last thing I said to her, was that she wasn’t my real mother.’  
I take a stronger hold, noticing that he wants to pull away his hand. ‘People say stupid things when they’re hurt. Parents love their children nonetheless. At least they should. And from what I’ve heard about your mom, she did exactly that.’  
‘She did,’ he mumbles. ‘And yet I killed her as well as my father.’ He pulls his hand, but I refuse to let go.  
‘Did you pierce a knife through their heart?’ I ask.  
‘No?’ he frowns. He finally stops pulling his hand.  
‘Did you put your hands on their throat and prevented them from breathing?’  
‘No.’  
‘Did you slice their throat, cut their artery, push them under water or throw them off a building?’  
‘No, why are you-‘  
‘Did you mean to harm them?’  
‘Of course not!’  
‘Then you didn’t kill them.’ I look at him intensely. He falls quiet and stares back. His mouth opens now and then, but he doesn’t seem to be able to find the right response. ‘You shouldn’t blame yourself for something you didn’t do. For something you didn’t plan on happening.’  
‘But it did happen. And I wished my father dead so many times,’ he whispers.  
‘Wishing for something and wanting it are too completely different things,’ I say. ‘I could wish for my family to accept me, but I could also not want it.’ He shakes his head. ‘If they were to accept me, it would mean I would be one of them. I don’t want to be one of them.’  
‘I get that.’ He looks down at our hands and lets his thumb circle my skin. ‘I think.’ He looks back up. The waiter gets back with a bottle of wine and two glasses. I free my hand, to make sure there’s room enough. The waiter smiles and leaves quickly.  
‘We should probably think about what we want to order,’ I tell Loki. He nods in agreement and lifts up his menu. I look at him for a moment, before doing the same.


	36. Connect the lies

‘You imposter,’ Loki laughs. ‘You never told me you could do magic.’  
‘It was never that important,’ I shrug. I just managed to prevent the bottle of wine from falling on the ground.  
‘You never thought about telling me?’  
‘What good would it have done?’ I say. ‘It’s not like I’m good at it. I can do some simple tricks, but nothing as major as you.’  
‘You don’t know what I’m capable of.’ Loki pours me some more wine.  
‘Exactly. But I do know it’s enough for father to be interested in you.’ I put my hand on his to tell him to stop. ‘He wouldn’t have been if you were bad at it.’  
He smiles. ‘I guess you’re right. But I could’ve taught you.’  
‘And then what?’ I chuckle. ‘Those chains were magic-proof.’  
‘At least you would’ve been more capable of defending yourself.’ I take my glass and look at him. ‘Not that you weren’t capable of defending yourself, but you would have more to defend yourself with.’ He grins awkwardly. ‘I’m not making it any better.’  
‘No you aren’t.’ I take a sip. ‘But I get what you mean.’ I lick the sweet juice off my lips and smile. ‘I can defend myself, but magic isn’t my strongest asset. I would’ve probably tried to use it, failed and do more damage than good.’  
‘I can still teach you?’ Loki proposes. ‘We’d have a reason to spend more time together?’  
I smile. Of course that’s what he’s thinking about. ‘I’ll think about it.’  
‘Wouldn’t it be a good reason?’ he tries.  
‘It would,’ I confirm.  
‘Then what’s there to think about?’ He smiles widely.  
‘Good point.’ I nod. ‘Nobody knows I can do magic.’  
‘And you don’t want them to know?’  
‘I’m not sure,’ I admit. I don’t know what I want, that’s the whole problem. ‘Just give me a moment to think about it.’  
‘Okay.’ Loki looks at me while sipping his own drink. We’ve almost finished. He already has finished, I just have a few more bites left. Beside that we barely have any wine. As soon as it’s all gone, we will head back and this moment of free speech will end. We will have to go back to our secrets and lies. Do to that, we both try to stall. It’s almost five and we’ve been here for a little over four hours. We both probably won’t have any appetite left when we get home. We will have a few hours before Grandmaster’s dinner starts, in which we both won’t really participate. Grandmaster will look up one of us, to get more information about our date and Hosha will probably seek out the other one.  
‘Have you enjoyed your meal?’ the waiter asks.  
‘Yes, thank you,’ Loki answers. The waiter starts cleaning off the table. I take my glass and take a few more sips. ‘Do you want anything else?’ Loki asks.  
I desperately try to think of something that might buy us some more time. ‘No, I guess not,’ I answer.  
He nods. ‘I’ll get the check.’ He gets up. As he walks towards the counter, his hand softly touches my shoulder. I look up at him and watch him walk up to the waiter. I take some more sips, until my glass is empty.

‘Are you ready?’ Loki takes his coat off his chair. I get up and put mine on. He leads the way out of the restaurant.  
‘Thank you,’ I tell the host, before walking to the door.  
‘Come back soon,’ he answers.  
As soon as we are outside, Loki offers me his arm. I gratefully take it. It’s already getting a bit dark, the streetlights are on and the market is gone.  
We don’t have to walk far, but we take our time. It’s nice walking close up to him. I can feel his warmth and smell his scent. ‘What kind of cologne did you use?’ I ask. Grandmaster loves using cologne, but I have never smelled this one on him.  
‘One of the servants gave it to me,’ he says. ‘I guess she thought I smelled bad.’ I chuckle. People here think differently. They don’t realize certain actions can create the wrong idea. They always mean well. ‘Do you like it?’  
I nod. ‘It smells nice.’  
He smiles widely. ‘I guess I should wear it more often.’  


We eventually reach Grandmaster’s tower. ‘Let’s use the private elevator,’ I tell him. At least we will have less change off walking into someone.  
We quickly go to the elevator and manage to reach it without anyone seeing us.  
The doors close and we have another moment of privacy.  
We just stand close to each other, looking at our reflection. We don’t say anything. We don’t have to. He knows it, just like I do. He takes my hand. I place my head against his shoulder.  
We wait like that, until the doors open. I take my head from his shoulder and he lets go of my hand.  
‘I’ll walk you to your room,’ he tells me. He puts his hand on my lower back and leads me through the corridor.  
We walk like that until we reach my door. ‘Thank you.’ I look up at him. ‘I enjoyed myself.’ I lick my lips. I would love for him to kiss me, but he can’t. He knows it too.  
‘I guess we should do it more often then?’ he suggests.  
I smile. ‘I guess we should.’  
‘How about tea?’  
‘Tomorrow?’  
‘Tonight.’ He looks at me. ‘I know you won’t go to dinner.’ He will, he could eat whole day if he’d feel like it. ‘So how about I bring you up some tea afterwards. We could talk some more. You could tell me about the book you’re reading?’  
I nod. ‘I’d like that,’ I whisper.  
‘Good,’ he seems satisfied with my answer. ‘I’ll see you in a few hours.’ He bows forward. I can barely breath for a moment. He places a kiss on my cheek. He looks at me when he takes his distance.  
‘Enjoy your dinner,’ I say.  
‘I will,’ he says. He turns and leaves. One of us had to take the initiative. We both didn’t really want to. Normally I would probably have decided to go in, but he had me petrified with his kiss.  
I watch him wait for the elevator. Our eyes cross one more time before he enters. I can’t wait for him to return tonight.


	37. Nights like these

There’s a soft knock on my door. I get up to quickly open the door. To my surprise, it is neither Loki, nor Hosha. It’s Hilde. She’s holding a tray with two cups and a teapot. She smiles awkwardly. ‘He wanted to bring it up, but Grandmaster send me instead,’ she says. She enters my room. ‘I’m sorry.’  
‘That’s okay,’ I say. I can’t help but be disappointed. I close the door once she’s in.  
‘Did you have a good time?’ she asks. She puts down the tray down on my desk.  
‘I did,’ I tell her. She starts pouring tea in the two cups. ‘He was a real gentleman.’  
‘Forgive me for being blunt, but was he the man you were hiding in your bathroom?’ she whispers. I bite my lip and nod. ‘Why was he in your bathroom?’  
‘We met before,’ I say. I sit down on the edge of my bed and watch her. ‘At fath-‘ I close my eyes and take a deep breath. ‘At Thanos’ place,’ I say.  
‘You already knew him when he got here?’ She frowns.  
‘Yes, he was one of our guests.’ I take the cup Hilde offers me.  
‘Actual guests, or…’  
‘You know which type of guest,’ I whisper.  
‘Then, shouldn’t he hate you?’ Everything I say only seems to confuse her more. She takes her own cup off the table. I often drink tea or eat lunch with Hilde, even though it isn’t really “normal”. She’s my personal assistant, which means I’m allowed to do with her as I please and I enjoy drinking tea with her and eating lunch together.  
‘He should,’ I tell her. ‘I took care of him. He was supposed to be the one getting me out of there.’ I see the confusion in her eyes. ‘I never wanted to be there,’ I tell her. ‘He was supposed to break out and take me with him.’  
‘But he left you behind? Was that why you were heartbroken when you first got here?’ She seems to feel insulted in my name.  
‘He left me behind, yes, but not because he wanted to.’ I take a sip, trying to find a way to tell her all this. ‘It’s a long story.’  
‘I’ve got all night,’ she tells me. If she truly wants to know everything, I guess I owe it to her to tell it all.

I wake up from a soft knock on the door. It opens even before I get the chance to get up. Hilde is asleep, beside me in bed. We talked till late, eventually she fell asleep and I couldn’t bare waking her up, so I just laid down beside her.  
‘Pandora?’ I get up, recognizing his voice. ‘Are you awake?’  
‘Grandmaster,’ I say. I walk to the door. What is he doing here, this late at night? We meet in the small hall that is there purely to get a little more privacy. ‘Is there something wrong?’  
‘I just wanted to check up on you. You weren’t at dinner.’ His golden vest shines slightly in the light of the moon. I can see his metallic-grey hair and the light-blue stripes that are drawn on his face.  
‘I’m fine, I just had a little too much to eat at lunch,’ I tell him.  
‘Did he mistreat you?’ he asks. He sounds concerned.  
‘No,’ I answer. I shake my head, a movement he might be able to see in the dark.  
‘Good. I was worried he might have,’ he says. He wraps his arms around me and pushes me close to his chest. I’m barely able to move. ‘Just say the word and I’ll make sure he’ll never bother you again, my dear.’  
‘You don’t have to,’ I whisper.  
‘If it changes, just let me know.’ He places a kiss on my forehead. He’s acting strange, even for his doing. The softness of his actions move me. He means well and he probably wants to show me he cares.  
‘Thank you, Grandmaster.’ Even though I’m clear about how I feel, he won’t let go. He just holds me close and caresses my hair. I just let him, not knowing what to do or say. I’m still not used to people treating me this way. I had a hard time when I first got here. Hilde managed to get me through it, but things like this still throw me off.  
‘Is there anything I can do for you?’ he asks me.  
‘No, I’m alright. Hilde kept me company tonight.’  
‘Good,’ he mumbles. He finally lets go. ‘You should get some sleep.’ He smiles at me, gently strikes my hair over my shoulder and puts a kiss on my forehead. ‘Goodnight my dear.’  
‘Goodnight Grandmaster,’ I say softly. He turns and leaves. I close the door behind him.

When I wake up once more, Hilde has left, light shines through the window and my room is all cleaned up. I push myself up to get out. I lightly stretch my muscles. I take off my clothes, before walking to the bathroom. I put on the shower and walk up to the sink while it gets to the right temperature. I quickly brush my teeth and look at myself in the mirror. My skin is a bit paler than usual, probably because I had too little sleep. I spit and rinse my mouth. I quickly get under the hot beaming shower. It feels incredible against my skin. I enjoy showering more then I used to. After not being able to do it for months and living in a place surrounded by trash, I got to appreciate it more.  
Today will be a busy day. I’ll have to arrange a city event. We will celebrate Grandmaster. Two weeks from now, we will have the anniversary of him building this city. Nobody knows exactly how long it has been, mostly because Grandmaster likes to keep his age a secret. That’s why they celebrate it once a year, every year. Knowing Grandmaster, it has to be grand. There will have to be a present to him. I’ve arranged a statue to be placed at the grand square. I’ll have to do a lot now that it’s getting close.  
I wash my face, getting the sleep out of my eyes. I know Loki will seek me out. He doesn’t really have a lot to do around here.  
I take a deep breath and turn off the shower. It’s time to get ready for breakfast. I step out of the tub. I love the idea of a combined shower and tub. It’s efficient. People here think like that: efficient. They try to make the best out of everything.  
I dry myself off and go back into my room to get dressed. I take out the light, pink dress with an open back. I haven’t worn this ever since I arrived. The fabric isn’t as nice as that of the others, it’s much simpler too. But it’s perfect, seeing how I will be hurrying around today. I slip it on and take my hair out of the knot it’s in. My hair spills down my back, almost reaching my bottoms. I quickly brush it and put it into a ponytail. As always, I put my bracelets back on. It’s time to go down, ready or not. I’ll finish up after breakfast.  
Grandmaster is talking to a girl when I arrive. She’s small, clearly drunk, but nonetheless good looking. She has large eyelashes, an olive colored skin and hair like mine: black and put back into a ponytail. She’s wearing armor, which means she’s either one of his warriors, or a servant that searches for warriors. There are blue marks on her face, drawn on it, like Grandfathers. She’s probably a sort of army-girl. She shamelessly looks me up and down, before she frowns.  
‘Am I early?’ I ask Grandmaster.  
‘A little. Valkyrie, we will talk later. Pandora has very clear rules about everything that has to do with our gladiator fights,’ Grandmaster says.  
‘Pandora,’ Valkyrie repeats. ‘Interesting,’ she mumbles. She seems clear for someone who’s so obviously drunk.  
‘I’ll talk to you later,’ Grandmaster says. Valkyrie walks past me. She now and then seems to loose balance, but every time she manages to take control.  
‘Don’t mind her,’ Grandmaster says. ‘Let’s take our seat.’ I walk up to the table, as does he.

Every morning is different. Sometimes it’s like a party, small tables, breakfast snacks, a lot of people. Sometimes there is a large table and there are just a few people, sometimes there are a lot of people at the table. Sometimes we start eating when everyone is there, sometimes we wait. We take place and start filling up our plates, not waiting for the others. They will join us in time.  
‘What are your plans for today, Grandmaster?’ I ask.  
‘I think I will take a stroll today. Will you be planning the party today?’  
‘Yes,’ I answer, before taking a bite.  
‘I know it’s much to ask. But I was hoping you would organize a fight in my honor?’ He looks at me sideways. I know he loves his fights, with his beloved champion.  
‘I don’t know,’ I sigh. I don’t really want to.  
‘Topaz will help you, so will Valkyrie,’ Grandmaster guarantees.  
‘Can’t they do it in the first place?’ I ask.  
‘They can’t throw a party like you can.’ He smiles.  
‘Alright,’ I sigh. ‘Alright. For this once. But I won’t be attending.’  
‘Not even to oversee everything?’ he asks. Normally I would come to see if everything was going fine, but I don’t want to be a part of this. ‘Just this once?’ He does his best trying to convince me.  
‘Just this once what?’ Kolde asks, entering with Hosha.  
‘I’m trying to convince Pandora to come to the anniversary fight. Of course she is terribly stubborn.’ He winks at me. ‘You just think a little longer about it, won’t you?’  
‘I will,’ I tell him. I don’t want to go, but if he continuously insists, I can’t do anything but agree. I might be stubborn, but he is much worse.


	38. Puzzles

‘Topaz.’ I quickly walk up to her.  
‘Pandora?’ she answers. She looks pretty much emotionless.  
‘Grandmaster insists on me organizing a fight in his honor, for the anniversary party.’ She frowns. I can’t blame her. I have never been to a fight, which makes it hard for me to plan it. ‘He said I should ask your help.’  
‘With organizing the fight?’ I nod in answer. ‘Organizing a fight isn’t that hard. I’ll help you with that. But you’re the one who’ll have to make it special.’  
‘I think I can do that,’ I say, bluffing my way out of it. ‘I should probably meet the champion, right?’  
‘Absolutely, if you want to make it into a party, you’re going to need him.’ She turns around and starts walking. I follow her, knowing she’ll lead me to him.  
‘What do I need to know about the fights? Are there any-‘  
‘We start with some warm ups. Some slaves that fight to the death. Either one survives or two, depends on the type of combat you want the first round to be. Sometimes we let them fight solo, sometimes in teams. Depending on how quick it went and if Grandmaster feels merciful, the two fighters either live or fight each other. Second round is often slaves…’ I feel my jaws cringe, as if I’m eating something sour. I can’t stand the fact that they force people to fight each other, a specially till death, calling them slaves makes it even worse. At least “guests” sounded kind of nice.  
‘So if I organize the fight, are there any specific people who I need to get in contact with?’ I ask.  
‘Of course. I’ll get you in contact with Olike, he’s the one you need to be in touch with. Just give him the specifics of the fight and he’ll get it done.’ She opens a pair of doors. ‘You don’t have to do much. If you’d prefer I can get most of it done, you’ll just have to see how to make it unique.’  
‘Will do,’ I say. We enter the room. A giant, green man is sitting on the edge of his bed. He throws a ball against the wall and catches it without any trouble as it bounces back. He is muscular and has black hair. I am taken back by his size. I’ve never seen anyone like him. Where did he come from? Is he the only one of his species. ‘Thank you,’ I say Topaz, who clearly wants to leave. She doesn’t stay a second longer. I walk up to the giant, green man and look at him in fascination. ‘Hello?’ I say. He catches the ball and looks at me. ‘I’m Pandora. May I ask who you are?’  
‘I am Hulk.’ He looks back and starts throwing the ball again.  
‘It’s nice to meet you.’ I look around. He has a big room, which is necessary, since he’s such a large guy himself. There is a enormous bubble bath, and a bed of the same size. ‘I’ve heard a lot about you. You probably don’t know me, but I’m supposed to organize the next fight. The big one, so to say.’ I bite my lip.  
‘You find me someone to fight with?’ he asks.  
‘No. No.’ I shake my head. ‘God no. I just have to make sure it’ll all be special. I’m not sure yet how, but I’ll make sure it’ll be special.’  
He grumbles.  
‘I just wanted to meet you, to see if I would get any inspiration and to ask if there is anything you need?’ I ask.  
‘Strong opponent.’  
‘Sorry?’ I frown.  
‘Hulk needs someone strong to fight.’ He looks at me. I can’t seem to wrap my head around him. He doesn’t seem intelligent, yet there is something in his eyes that I can’t seem to place.  
‘I will make sure they know. Anything else?’ He grumbles and starts throwing the ball again.  
‘If anything changes, feel free to ask for me.’ I nod. He doesn’t react anymore, so I’ll just leave him to it.

After going by my room to get a notebook and pen, I leave for the arena. I want to write some things out. I’ll probably get colored, powder bombs. Green, obviously, since the champion is green. I will put up flags on the railings, get fireworks. I should probably make sure Grandmaster gets some appetizers during the game. He has a special skybox, for him and those he invites up there. What can I do to make it more special in there? Maybe music? Or should I get music throughout the whole arena? If so, what kind of music would be fitting?  
I write the ideas down, even those I haven’t fully worked out yet.  
‘When will the next competition be?’ Marcus asks. I look up. There are a few people walking around, so I didn’t really pay much attention to my surroundings. I knew he was standing there, but I didn’t know it was him.  
‘Next week, as part of Grandmasters celebration,’ I tell him. ‘Normally it’s every week, but he wanted it to be a little more special, so we skip one.’  
‘Pity.’ He walks towards me. ‘I am not sure I’ll still be here than.’  
‘You could prolong your stay? Or do you have any place to be?’ I say.  
‘No, but Paray wants to visit some more planets. She’ll ask you if you’re meaning to get me a performance, because if you don’t, we will be leaving soon.’ He leans against the railing.  
‘Yes, of course. I still need to hear you play. I’m sorry, I have been quite busy.’ I completely forgot, to admit. Grandmaster wouldn’t care, but I do. I prefer keeping my planning straight. That means I should’ve done this days ago. ‘I believe I have room this afternoon, if you don’t mind playing on such short notice?’  
‘Of course I don’t mind.’ He smiles casually. ‘I hope you don’t mind me asking,’ he says, ‘but how did you end up in Grandmasters- care, so to say.’  
‘I was sold.’ I look at him.  
‘Really?’  
‘Yes. Why do you ask?’ I sit down on one of the benches and look at him.  
‘I was just wondering. You don’t look like a servant. You don’t look like a woman who would give herself to him either. You look like-‘ He frowns slightly. ‘Like a fighter.’  
I smile to myself. ‘I guess I should be glad they didn’t look at me the way you do. Otherwise I probably would’ve ended up in the arena.’ I look at the fighting pit.  
‘Yes, I guess you would’ve.’ He looks down. ‘Where are you from, Pandora?’  
I look up at him. ‘Why do you want to know?’  
‘Let’s say I know someone who knows someone who might be able to get you back home. If you’d like?’ He looks at me.  
I can’t help but smile. ‘I am glad I am away from my last home. Grandmaster treats me well. I don’t have anything to complain about.’  
He nods. ‘Alright.’ He smiles kindly. ‘I just had to make sure. Seeing how you seem to be out of place.’  
‘What do you mean?’ I ask.  
‘You don’t like violence. You condone it, but prefer to look for other ways. You are well mannered, look for the right way to response. I would almost think you were a princess somewhere.’ I laugh at his comment. I can’t believe he is comparing me to a princess. He chuckles. ‘I’m just saying. You seem to have had a good education. A lot of people around here don’t.’  
‘That’s because most of them get dumbed to this place. They don’t have a fair chance.’  
‘True,’ he agrees. ‘I have to admit, you are a bit of a puzzle to me.’  
I laugh. ‘I truly am not that interesting.’  
‘I beg the difference.’ He seems amused. ‘I like puzzles, so I quickly know how to recognize one.’ I can’t help but laugh. He is quite funny, even though he probably doesn’t mean to be.  
‘Thank you for the laugh,’ I say, as I stand up. ‘But if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot to do before your performance. How about I meet you at half past two at the garden. Please feel free to set up on forehand, if necessary.’  
He smiles, then nods. ‘Thank you miss Pandora. I look forward to it.’


	39. Plan of mischief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys,  
> I have a bit of a sad anouncement. My laptop has died, so this chapter is the last I have in stock. Last time I made a back up, this was the latest chapter I had written. Seeing how I write in between job hours, it may take a while before I have my new chapters written again. That means it might take me a little longer than normal to post new chapters. I'll try writing as fast as possible, but there still might be a bigger gap between chapters than usual.  
> In the mean time I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. I'll really work as fast as possible.  
> Love, Roos

I eat my lunch while listening to Marcus. When I told him I didn’t have much time in between appointments to eat something, he said he completely understood. He too eats whenever he can. It’s quite relaxing to listen to him play. He prepared three songs. One acoustic, which was really nice and peaceful, one country-like, which he is playing right now and he said he would play me a dance song too. I’m not sure how he goes from acoustic to dance, but so far it has been good. His voice is very raw and at some points you almost think it will break, but then it doesn’t. He knows how to play his instrument, that’s clear. His band, a few people I haven’t met, are perfectly tuned to him. I wonder why they don’t sit at grandmaster’s table like Marcus and Paray. I haven’t asked, of course. I wouldn’t want to make things uncomfortable. From what I learned, band members easily fight over pretty much everything.   
The song ends and he takes his water bottle to take a few sips. ‘Sounds great so far,’ I tell them. I pick up a glass of wine I took along. ‘I do wonder about the dance song, since that’s what Grandmaster prefers during his parties.’   
‘We have enough of those,’ one of the band members says. He smiles kindly. He’s got plump teeth, so he’s probably a herbivore. He has a tilted nose with long nostrils and small eyes. He’s got hair on his hands and wears mostly black.   
‘Great.’ I take another sip and try to make sure there’s nothing stuck between my teeth.   
‘It’s a bit more rough than you’re probably used to,’ Marcus says. ‘At least, from what I’ve heard.’ He puts down the water bottle and stretches.   
‘I’ve heard a lot and Grandmaster has heard even more. I’m sure it’s not as rough as you think.’ I don’t want to think they’re not special or anything, but they are not that special. They’re good, I like theirs songs so far and I’ll probably hire them for the next party. But their music isn’t different. It’s not new. There’s nothing wrong with that.

They get ready and start playing. It starts in a soft, rhythmic beat, blasting out into a slightly dramatic and up beat number. It’s Marcus his voice fits perfectly with it and now and then he stops singing to let the instruments take the lead. I did hear it before, but in combination with Marcus’ voice, I’d have to admit it’s a nice surprise.   
‘He sounds good,’ Loki suddenly places a hand on my shoulder. I was so focused on the music, I hadn’t heard him coming up behind me. I look up and he smiles. ‘You mind if I join you?’   
‘Sure, but remember, I’m at work.’ He nods and takes place beside me. I look back to the band. All but Marcus seem concentrated on their music. Marcus continues singing, but he looks at Loki so intensely I can’t help but wonder if something happened between the two of them.   
Loki suddenly touches my face. I look up in surprise. ‘You have a little-’ He rubs his thumb just under my lower lip. ‘Wine.’ He clears his throat and looks away in shame. I chuckle as silently as possible and shake my head. I look at him for a moment, before I look at the performance again. Maybe I should hire them to play at Grandmasters special day? He surely seems to like Marcus. The music is good, so people will enjoy it. I might ask him to play during the fight, to make it more special. I can’t imagine anyone did that before.

After Marcus finishes his song, he walks my way. He quickly glances over at Loki, before looking at me. ‘I don’t want to sound too eager, but I have to ask: what do you think?’   
‘Have you checked how long you’ll be staying here?’   
He frowns. ‘I asked Paray this morning, after speaking with you, she said that it really depends on if we get booked. Why?’   
‘Because in a week, Grandmasters anniversary takes place and I was wondering if you have some up-beat songs to play during the fight?’   
His eyes go big. ‘You want us to play at his anniversary?’   
‘Yes.’   
‘It would be our honor.’ He takes my hand. ‘Thank you. I’ll make sure we’re ready two days on forehand so you can listen to the songs and decide if it’s any good.’ He turns and hurries to his friends.   
‘The anniversary?’ Loki asks. ‘During the fight?’   
‘Yes. You should come. I’ll probably be forced to come too,’ I mumble the last part. I get up and straighten out my dress.   
‘Do you have a lot more to do?’ Loki asks. He gets up to.   
‘Well, I got _some_ music. I need to contact two others, but I already know who those are and I think they won’t mind playing. I need to get some color bombs, flags, I think I’ll get some hats, I need to make sure there’s a hologram-projector in the arena.’   
‘One that enlarges the subject of interest?’   
‘Exactly.’ I smile.   
‘I can go and see if it’s there. If it’s not, I can see if I can get it for you.’ He softly touches my shoulder.   
‘I know someone who can get it, but if you can check if it’s there, that would be amazing.’ I smile. ‘Though, if you want to spend time with me, you can also tag along instead of trying to shorten my to-do list. Because new things will add onto it.’   
‘Good point. But wouldn’t it be better to get some burdens off your shoulder instead of adding to it by being distracting you?’ His hand goes down my shoulder, to my hand.   
‘You’ll probably be incredibly distracting,’ I start, ‘but you could also be a big help. You know how to make a show. You may have some ideas and you probably know how to make good deals.’   
He smiles widely. ‘I do. I am very good at organizing classy parties.’ He shrugs. ‘I guess we could go together.’ He pretends it’s my idea, but I’m pretty sure he was working me to it.   
‘You little mischief,’ I mumble under my breath.   
‘Shall we?’ He takes my arm in a swift movement.


	40. Burdened with a glorious purpose

'No, not blue, green. Everything needs to be green.'  
'But miss, the blue is 20 percent off.'  
'You heard the lady, it has to be green.'  
'Everything?' The salesman looks at Loki with two of his eyes, the other three are pointed at me.  
‘Everything,’ Loki confirms. He doesn’t look away. ‘But we’ll take the 20 percent off nonetheless.’  
‘On the blue?’  
‘No, on the green.’ Loki’s jaw tenses. He doesn’t give an inch. The man’s eyes all focus on Loki now. ‘You wouldn’t want to disappoint the lady would you? Because with that, you would also disappoint Grandmaster.’ The man glances over at me, but not for long.  
‘Twenty percent, of course. Everything for our Grandmaster.’  
Loki smiles. ‘Perfect. Well, let’s put everything onto paper, shall we?’ We walk to the back with the man. ‘Twenty thousand green foam fingers, fifty thousand green smoke bombs, fifteen thousand green caps, with the champion’s head on it- You’ll provide him with the image later?’ Loki turns to me.  
‘Yes, of course. I’ll make sure he’ll get the image tomorrow morning. Would that be in time?’ I ask the salesman. He nods.  
‘Great. We’ll also need one hundred thousand meters in green flags. The kind you can hang in the street. We’ll need eighteen thousand flags on a stick, for the visitors. Make sure they are green…’ The man quickly notes everything down and Loki keeps a close eye on it. He’s truly a great businessman. He knows how to get things done. After today I should talk to Grandmaster. He should know Loki is such a great help. Maybe he’ll allow me and Loki to work together more often. He likes Loki, so it shouldn’t be too hard to achieve.  
‘…That would be it, right?’ Loki looks at me. I take a quick look at the form and nod. He remembered well. We went over the numbers a few times. First when we left Grandmasters building, then after we arranged the flowers and once more after that when we went to the catering to take care of the food. He of course didn’t talk much at the florist and at the caterer he made sure we got a good price -and he added some of his favorite dishes to the list- but this, right now, it’s impressive. ‘Perfect.’ He seems so pleased. ‘Let’s talk money.’

‘Do we have to do much more?’ Loki asks, after we left the shop. He managed to get even more off the price.  
‘We’d only have to arrange the fireworks, check how far the light- and sound guys have come so far and see if everything is on track with the statue.’  
‘The statue? He gets a statue?’  
I look up. ‘Of course. He has built this city from nothing. He has been Grandmaster for as long as this place exists. Not many people even know how long that is exactly. Besides, a lot of people adore him. He’s a good man, a good leader-‘ Loki mumbles something, which makes me look up. ‘What?’ I ask.  
‘Nothing.’  
‘You know you can tell me, right?’ I smile encouraging. I’m hoping he’ll be more open to me. I like hearing what he has to say.  
‘It’s just- I think he wouldn’t be so great and adored if he didn’t have the right people by his side. He doesn’t actually _do_ much. He just lets others do it for him.’ Loki looks at his feet.  
‘That’s because he’s the leader. He doesn’t really have to do anything.’  
‘I know, but he doesn’t even come up with things on his own. I’m sure that if it wasn’t for Topaz and you, he’d have no idea how to handle this generation anymore. It might have been different when everything started out, but he barely knows his people. You two tell him what to say and what to do most of the time.’ He finally looks up at me after he’s done.  
‘Well, that’s only when he has to do a speech or anything. He doesn’t even always stick to it.’  
‘But that’s exactly what I mean. He barely thinks for himself. If he does it’s the small things. It’s more like-‘ He frowns. ‘Like you and Topaz rule the city and he is the face of it. He might still have some things to say, but he mostly just does as you tell him to.’ He has me baffled. I can’t find anything to say back to him. Grandmaster does make a lot of decisions, but I have to admit that most of them are about his private possessions and the prisoners and slaves. The big things, like the schooling systems, the festivals, the growing community and what’s going on in it, it all comes from either Topaz or me. Topaz has a very aggressive approach. Since my being here, things have changed a lot and I haven’t realized it was actually my doing. I did know I was a great influence on Grandmaster, but it never even occurred to me that I might actually be the one in control.  
‘You could do so much more for this place than him. You are sophisticated. Smart. People would adore you even more than they do him.’ It almost sounds like he’s trying to make a sale. I look at him sideways. ‘I know what you’re thinking. But that’s not why I’m saying it. I just think you would be a much better leader than he ever could.’ He looks away, to the shop windows.  
‘That’s sweet of you to say.’ I gently take his hand. ‘But I don’t think I want to be a leader. I enjoy helping people achieve their full potential, but to rule a whole city- I would feel burdened with all the responsibility.’ He gives me a gentle smile.  
‘I understand.’ He softly pinches my hand as we walk towards Granzoli’s. After the florist we talked about lunch and decided to go back to the restaurant of our first date. It was Loki’s suggestion. He seemed to really like the place.


	41. The road ahead

‘So how do you like Sakaar so far?’ I ask Loki, after we received our meal.  
He quickly swallows the bite he just took. ‘It’s nice. I think we could be really happy here.’ I look up from my plate. ‘It’s a very free place. There are parties, which is always good.’ He smiles and cuts off another piece of his tango meat.  
‘I’m glad you like it.’ I take a sip of my wine. Loki took wine too. He wanted water, but I told him not to. The water here isn’t drinkable unless you’re at Grandmasters place.  
‘There are things that could be better, of course. Maybe, even if we don’t rule, we can get Grandmaster to improve them.’ Loki looks at me.  
‘What would you change, if you could?’ I ask. I take a bite of my salad. It’s richly filled with all sorts of greens and meats. The dressing is nice and sweet.  
‘I think I would stop the fights.’ I frown. I know I would stop them, but I don’t know why Loki would. ‘For one, because you don’t like them.’ I smile to myself. ‘But also because it’s quite barbaric. I prefer theatre. Maybe the arena could be turned into an event hall, for music and acting and all.’ That does sound like Loki. ‘Of course I would make sure the waste gets disposed of further away from the city. That way it won’t stink as much as it does.’ He takes another bite. ‘Hmm- and I would get people clean water. I mean, that’s just one of the basic needs.’ That does sound nice. It wouldn’t hurt for Grandmaster to look into it. He licks his lips and gives me a small smile. ‘What would you change, of you could change anything?’  
I relax my shoulders a bit. ‘Well, what you said sounds really nice and I would definitely change those things.’ I take a sip, to give myself more time to think about what I am going to say and how I am going to say them. ‘I would invest more in the people. I would make sure they all have a change on a good education. There aren’t any schools now, so I would change that. I would also try to find a way to close the dump-holes. Recycle everything we have now and see if the planet we live on has a fertile ground. That way we could create more jobs and-‘ I look up to see Loki stare at me. ‘What?’ I ask.  
‘Nothing.’ He shakes his head. ‘Did you ever suggest any of this to Grandmaster?’  
‘I did, but he thinks things are good the way they are. He thinks that there aren’t any schools because people don’t want to go to one.’  
‘Why does he think that?’ Loki frowns.  
‘He said “If they have the need to go to school and learn, people could start them up themselves.”’ I sigh. Grandmaster listens a lot to Topaz and me, but only if it’s in his best interest. This would cost him money and he doesn’t notice the need for it. So he won’t execute the plan.  
‘You should try again. Ask him if you can start up a single school, for young children. Just to see if there’s a need for it.’ Loki takes my hand from over the table. ‘I think you could do some real good here. Don’t give up just because he said no the first time.’ He smiles. ‘I didn’t give up when you said no to me the first time.’ He does have a point there. Persistence can get you a long way.  
‘I’ll give it another shot,’ I tell him and give him a gentle smile.  
‘Good. Now eat your lunch before it warms up.’

After our meal, we continue our shopping. We finish quick, which gives us some time before dinner. Loki took me to a small bookshop downtown.  
‘When did you find this place?’ I ask. He hasn’t been here for too long and he for as far as I know, he didn’t go out much.  
‘A few days ago. I was looking for some places to take you- so that I could actually take you somewhere for a change.’ I chuckle. ‘And then I stumbled upon this place. I bought some books, but figured you would like it too.’  
‘I do.’ It’s a mess, that’s for sure. There are piles and piles of books. Which would make it hard if you want to get the one at the bottom. But it still had a rustic feeling to it. The smell is great and there’s something for everyone, that’s for sure.  
‘I thought so.’ He takes my hand and guides me through the piles. ‘There was this one book, I wanted to discuss with you.’ I let him take the lead as he seems to know where he’s going. I’m surprised he does, seeing how I quickly lose my way in this maze. He suddenly stops and I bump into him. ‘Here it is.’ He lets go of my hand and takes a big book from one of the piles.  
‘What is it?’ I ask.  
‘A travel book. Handwritten, so it must be one of a kind. I hid it here last time I came.’ He hands me over the book. ‘It has the different planets, their best spots and the culture of the cities in it.’ He starts swiping the pages until he finds the one he needs. ‘Look, here’s Asgard.’  
‘That’s amazing. I wonder who wrote it.’ I look at the detailed drawing of the city and smile. How long ago did this person travel there? Would it still all look this way?  
‘I don’t know. There’s no name on it. But someone must’ve thrown it out.’ He closes it. ‘I thought it might be a good way to base our travels on?’ He looks at me with his big puppy eyes. ‘Unless you don’t want to travel at all anymore?’  
‘Of course I do.’ I nod. ‘We should. I’m sure Grandmaster would allow us to take some time off.’  
‘And if he doesn’t?’  
‘He will, but otherwise we’ll have to make sure he will give us time off.’ He places a kiss on my cheek, ever so gently. I feel my head burn. I still can’t help but feel the way I do when he kisses me, even when it’s simply on the cheek.  
‘Let’s take this one with us then, and start writing in it ourselves.’ I nod in agreement.


	42. Expect the unexpected

‘Will you describe Asgard to me?’  
‘Asgard? Why?’  
‘It’s your home.’  
‘I’m not sure it is.’  
I turn around in Loki’s arms, to make sure I can look at him. His chest is bare and his hair wet. He just took a shower. In _my_ bathroom. He didn’t feel like going back to his after we came up for tea. He had to suck up to Grandmaster during diner and he felt like having some more sophisticated company during the evening. So I asked Hilde to bring some tea up to my room. Before she even arrived, Loki decided to take a shower. Which meant Hilde had a lot of time to talk about his whereabouts. I made sure to get her out before he came out to the bedroom. He of course saw me coming back from the door and made me tell him who it was. Not that there was much to tell. But we ended up here, on the bed, cuddling. There is still some water on the crown of his head and I carefully rub it away with my finger. ‘I’m sure it is.’ I softly place a kiss on his lips. ‘You just need time to find your place in life again.’  
‘I already have.’ He smiles. ‘Right here.’ His finger gently touches my right collarbone.  
‘Your life is in my collarbone?’ I laugh.  
‘Yes. It’s also…’ He touches my temple. ‘Here.’ He touches my spine, right between the shoulder blades. ‘Here.’  
‘Hmmm, your life is everywhere then?’ I say. He’s such a charmer. He sometimes tries too hard. It’s sweet. He smiles and buries his face against my shoulder. I softly stroke through his hair. It’s soft. I wonder if he used my shampoo.  
‘Can I sleep here tonight?’ he asks softly. He still asks. He can’t always sleep here, he knows that. But we both like him to.  
‘Yes, I’ll make sure to lock the door tonight.’ I never used to, but ever since Loki came, I’ve been trying to make it a habit.  
‘I’ll do it.’ He rolls over and gets up from the bed. He still had nothing more but his- or actually mine- towel around his waist. We’ve fiddled around a few times, nothing much, but enough to keep us both satisfied and at the same time it made sure no one would notice. “Me, with me they won’t be able to tell that we had sex,” Loki had said. “But with you. I don’t think you’ll be able to hide it as good.” It was surprising that he had said it. Especially since it kept him from having sex with me. But he is probably right. I sometimes wish he wasn’t, but he is.  
‘You still haven’t told me about Asgard.’ I say, rolling on my other side.  
‘I have. Multiple times.’ I hear the lock turn.  
‘But I love hearing you talk about it.’  
He laughs. ‘Why?’  
‘I just do.’ He comes back and lies down on my other side. It feels strange having him on that side. I prefer him on the other. He gives me a kiss. ‘Tell me.’ I scooch over and he moves along.  
‘What do you want to know?’  
I smile and look at him. ‘Everything.’

‘The skies are blue, most of the time. Sometimes they have this reddish glow that almost makes it seems alive.’ Loki softly caresses my hair. ‘The planet itself is barely a planet at all. It’s more like a floating rock, filled with water. It drips down the edges as if the whole world is a waterfall. There are mountains, and if you climb them high enough, you can see these beautiful colors at night. Aurora borealis, they have it on Midgard too.’  
‘What does it look like?’ I whisper. I love hearing him describe his home. It almost seems like we’re there when he does.  
‘Like colored airwaves in the sky. They aren’t always there, but on some nights, if you’re lucky.’ I feel his cheek against my head. ‘The city is built on the flat part of the planet. It’s shining solid gold in the light of the sun, but almost seems silver at nighttime. From the palace, you have the best view. There’s the nearby garden, the city itself and behind that, the sea, for as far as the eye can see. In the middle of it, there is the bifrost. That’s the way in and out of Asgard, guarded by Heimdall. He serves the ruler of Asgard. You don’t want to make him mad, even if you are a king.’  
‘Why not?’  
‘He- He’s just-‘ He lifts his head up to look at me. ‘I can’t quite explain. You’d have to meet him to understand.’  
I nod. I can understand that. Father is the type of person you’d have to meet too before truly understanding the impact he can have. Of course many people have heard of him and know how terrifying he can be only by the stories they’ve been told, but even those are nothing compared to his presence.  
‘What will you do when you go home?’ I look at him.  
‘I’m not sure,’ he says. He looks so serious. ‘I’m not even sure if I should go home. I’d love to, but I don’t know if I’d be welcome anymore.’  
‘Of course you would.’  
‘How would you know?’ He turns to me, with a frown on his face.  
‘I just do. From what you’ve told me, your brother loves you. He wouldn’t banish you. Besides, you need to go and safe your people from your sister.’  
‘She’s not my sister.’  
‘She is.’  
‘No.’ He looks away, to the ceiling.  
‘Is Thor not your brother?’  
‘Not by blood.’  
‘Do you not call him your brother?’ He remains silent. ‘Loki.’ I put my hand on his cheek and force him to look at me. ‘We’ve been over this multiple times. Just because you’re not related by blood, doesn’t mean you’re not family.’  
He sighs and bows forward. His lips touch mine, he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer. For a moment I forget what were talking about. Exactly as he has planned, I’m sure. But if he is so desperate to get away from the conversation, I should let it rest and leave it for another time.  
He pulls my body onto his and let his hands go down my back. It’s all part of his strategy to make me stop talking, I know that. But it does work. One of his hands stops on my lower back, while the other continues to slide lower, until it has reached my bum. He starts kissing me more intensely, barely giving me any time to breath. His fingers stretch out a bit, only to curl up and pull up the fabric of my dress in the progress. He finally lets go of my lips and starts kissing my neck. I close my eyes in enjoyment. I hate that he does this to get out of something, but at least is does feel incredible. He pulls up my dress some more and then turns our bodies in a swift movement, trapping me underneath himself. He softly bites the skin just above my collarbone.  
‘I love you.’ The words are so unexpected, he stops in his tracks. He has never said it before. I don’t even think I really said them.  
I gently caress through his hair. ‘I know,’ I answer.  
‘No, I mean- I actually love you.’ He backs away a bit.  
‘I love you too,’ I smile.  
‘I know.’ He might say he knows, but the frown on his face makes it confusing. ‘I know you love me, just like you know I love you.’  
‘Yes?’ What does he mean?  
‘Yet somehow we never really say the words.’ His hand slips away from under my body and he places it on my cheek. ‘And I know what you want to say; words aren’t really necessary, as long as you feel it.’ He smiles. ‘But they should be said. So why haven’t we said them before?’ I look at him. I don’t know. Maybe everything made things too complicated. Maybe we were too afraid? He slowly bows forward. ‘I love you.’ His lips once again, gently touch mine. I feel my chest tighten. It’s a nice feeling, not a feeling of breathlessness, more in a satisfying sort of way. ‘Will you marry me?’ I can’t help but push him away.  
‘What?’


	43. Aftermath

‘Loki-‘  
‘I love you, you love me, why waste any more time? I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you-‘  
‘Loki-‘  
‘I mean, just think about it. We’re perfect for each other. We know more about each other than anyone else. Together we’ve been through the most terrible things imaginable. We’ve overcome doubt and fear and-‘ He laughs. ‘And I love you.’ He has absolutely lost is. He talks so rapid it’s almost impressive. He looks at me. ‘That’s all we need, right?’ He looks so excited, but at the same time so hopeful. I softly caress his cheek. He places his hand onto mine. ‘I know I should’ve done it more romantically.’ He finally slows down a bit. ‘I would have, but it just occurred to me that I really want you to be my wife and it just- It just came out. I just didn’t want to waste any more time not being with you.’  
‘But you are with me,’ I whisper.  
‘I am.’ He pushes his arms underneath my body and pulls our bodies closer. ‘I need you to understand how important you are to me. How much I love you. I want to be with you. When we were apart, and I didn’t know if I would ever see you again, it felt as if a part of me was slowly vanishing into thin air. Like I was losing not only you but also myself. I didn’t think I would be able to feel such love ever again. To be honest, nothing seemed as lively as it did when I was locked up in that cell, waiting for you. Knowing you would come. It was a terrible time and yet you turned it into something I wanted to return to. Every time I thought back of my time at earth 616, I didn’t think about the torture, but about you. All I could hope for was that you were alright. Not knowing was worse than if I had heard that you were locked up. I don’t want to feel like that ever again.’  
‘You don’t have to feel like that no more. I’m not going anywhere.’  
‘But that’s the thing. We don’t know that.’ He puts his forehead against mine. ‘We don’t know what will happen in the future, nor what will happen if you get back your memory.’ He’s nervous, I can tell by the way he’s breathing. ‘All I know is, I don’t want to lose you. Not to anyone, not even to yourself.’ He lifts his head. ‘I want to be a part of your history.’ His lips caress mine. ‘Let me be a part of you, the way you are a part of me.’ He smiles, I can feel the movement of his lips against my skin. ‘Let me live in your collarbone.’ I chuckle.

‘But Loki.’ I softly pull his hair, to force him to look at me. ‘What would Grandmaster think?’  
‘Screw Grandmaster.’ I’m not used to him saying the word “screw”. Though he has said a lot of unusual things tonight.  
‘Loki, he thinks we’ve only met about a week ago.’  
‘I don’t care. I don’t care what he thinks or what he wants. I care about what _you_ think.’  
‘I-‘ I look at him. ‘I love you.’ I don’t know what to say. Do I want to marry him? The first thing I thought about, after the shock had gone down, was that I love him. He knows I do. He knows I want to have all he wants to have with me. But marriage. I never thought that would be in my future.  
‘What if I’m already married?’ I whisper. We already talked about it once, but now it’s serious.  
‘Then we’ll figure it out when it comes to it.’ He gets off of me. ‘But what if you aren’t?’ I look at him. ‘Would you want to spend your whole life unmarried, just because you’re not sure if you already are? What if the people you once loved aren’t even there anymore.’ I swallow. ‘I don’t want to sound mean, but Thanos did find you with knives through your heart and brain. What if, whoever it was that wanted to kill you, also killed your family?’ That’s a depressing thought. He seems to notice the impact of his words. ‘I’m sorry.’ He sighs. ‘If you don’t want to get married to me I completely understand.’  
‘That’s not it.’ I look at him. ‘I do want to marry you, even if it’s just because I love you so much I can’t imagine ever spending my life without you. Even if it turns out I’m already married. But I just- I never actually thought about it.’ I look at him. I know he wants to ask me why, so I decide to beat him to it. ‘Have you ever thought about it before tonight?’ He closes his mouth immediately. I know he hasn’t.  
‘I thought about spending my life with you.’  
‘That’s not thinking about marriage.’  
‘It’s not,’ he admits.  
‘I’m just afraid this is a spur of the-‘  
‘It’s not.’ I can’t even finish my sentence. ‘It’s not. It’s just a realization. If I hadn’t blurred it out the way I did, I would’ve asked you nonetheless. Just- Better.’  
I chuckle. ‘This wasn’t that bad.’  
‘Are you kidding me?’ He laughs. ‘If anyone ever wants to know how I asked you to marry me, this won’t be the story we’ll tell.’ I can’t help but laugh along.  
‘If anyone asks, we’ll say we were kissing and you realized you loved me. You loved me so much, you wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of our lives together, and you just asked me.’ I place my hand on his chest. ‘And though it surprised me, I said yes.’  
He smiles widely. ‘That sounds perfect.’ He pulls me towards him and pushes his lips against mine. ‘It sounds like us.’

‘There is one thing though. I meant it when I said Grandmaster was going to be a problem.’ Loki and I have been cuddling and kissing for a while. Knowing what might be in our future, feels liberating. ‘He still owns me.’  
‘But you work for him?’  
‘I was sold to him. I might not look like him, but I am, technically, still his property.’ I look at him. ‘I’m as good as free, but I have never had an actual confirmation. I don’t know if we’re allowed to get married without his approval.’ We could, but it would seem strange, seeing the position we’re in. Loki is still trying to gain his trust as much as he possibly can. I need to remain in the faithful position I am in now. That is, if we want to stay here. We both know that.  
‘And a week is short,’ he mumbles. He finally realizes what I meant. ‘Do you think there is any chance he’ll give permission?’  
‘A small one. Mostly depending on how he feels, if he thinks you’re right for me, if he thinks it might mean he loses me. We should get a moment where he feels great, you can ask him and tell him I agreed, but only if he does.’ I feel his fingers go down my back. ‘It might make him feel a bit more in control, it’ll make him feel good that I kept him in mind in all this.’ I know Grandmaster, he’ll feel more involved and the chance that he’ll agree will be bigger.  
‘Because you do.’  
‘Only because I think this would be a good place to start our life together. It might not be the best, but you seem to like it here and I like it. People here are nice. They appreciate the small things.’ I look at his chest. It goes up and down steadily. ‘Though I guess I don’t have a lot of places to compare it too.’  
‘I get it. This is the first place you feel like you can call your home.’ Loki whispers. He’s so close. ‘But what if he says no?’  
‘Then we’ll have to leave. This can’t be my home without you.’ I mean it. I used to think it could be, it probably could’ve been, but then he came. He found his way back into my heart and I can’t imagine losing him again. ‘If we can’t be together here, we’ll be together elsewhere.’ I look up at him. He looks unsure, or maybe he tries to imagine how this must be for me.  
He slowly nods. ‘We’ll make sure it won’t come to that.’ He bows forward and places a soft kiss onto my forehead. ‘You should get some sleep, tomorrow’s a busy day.’


	44. Saying something meaningful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been giving warnings lately, have I? Wonder is anyone even reads them. If you read his: Hi there kind reader, thanks for reading my story and I hope you're enjoying it, for there is more to come.

‘Now?’  
‘I don’t know. He seems happy.’ I keep an eye on Grandmaster. We’re having another one of his fancy parties. It’s been two days and Loki and I keep looking for the right moment. ‘He’s laughing,’ I whisper.  
‘So now?’  
‘Just wait until Jacov leaves and quickly scooch in.’ I take a sip of my drink.  
‘What are you two whispering about?’ Hosha suddenly says. We turn around, as if caught red handed. She grins. ‘Don’t worry, I wasn’t listening in. Although I am wondering who you’ve been staring at? What is interesting enough to keep you in its grip?’ She pushes herself between us.  
‘We were just admiring the setting and overseeing if Grandmaster is satisfied,’ I tell her. It’s a good lie, because it’s partially true.  
‘Is he?’ she asks. She lightly leans against me.  
‘He sure seems to be.’ Loki smiles. He glances over at Grandmaster. ‘Excuse me.’ He hands me his drink and quickly walks over to Grandmaster. Jacov just left, which means it’s time for Loki to work his magic. My chest tightens. I hope this’ll go well.  
‘Are you alright?’ Hosha frowns. ‘You look nervous.’  
‘I am,’ I admit. ‘I’ll be fine.’ I keep an eye on Loki, who just greeted Grandmaster. He looks nervous, but maybe others won’t notice.  
‘So what have you been up to?’ Hosha asks.  
‘The usual, organizing Grandmaster’s party, checking on the inventory, keeping his contacts, things like that.’ I’m distracted, I know she can tell, because I’m not even looking at her. She probably isn’t looking at me anymore either.  
‘What?!’ Grandmaster exclaims. Suddenly everyone falls silent, even the band stops playing. Now I’m sure I won’t be the only one to notice Loki’s true feelings. Grandmaster glances over at me. I want to walk towards them, but I can’t seem to myself to it. Does he disapprove? Were we too soon? He looks back at Loki. ‘That’s marvelous!’ he suddenly jells. A big smile appears on his face. ‘How grand! Pandora, Pandora, sweetheart, come here.’ The feeling returns to my limbs as I come to the realization that he’s actually happy for us. His reaction wasn’t one of anger, it was of surprise.

I walk towards them, knowing Hosha follows me. She remains close, as if she feels how fragile I feel in this very moment. Everyone’s staring. Everyone’s listening. As soon as I reach them, Grandmaster wraps his arms around me, making sure not to spill his drink over me.  
‘Such splendid news.’ He pulls back and looks at me. ‘My beautiful Pandora.’ He smiles and looks around. ‘Getting married.’ Finally people start making sounds again. Gasps, claps, even some whispers. ‘Let us celebrate!’ He waves his hand to get the music started again.  
‘Married! My, Pandora! Why didn’t you tell me?’ Hosha grabs my arm. We only told Hilde. I talked to Loki about it for a while. He wanted to meet her and if he found her to be trustworthy, he would agree. Within an hour, he told her. I was quite surprised and so was she. After that she got so excited. Still, just like us, she couldn’t share the information.  
‘How did he ask you? You did ask her, right?’ Grandmaster looks at Loki.  
‘Of course I did,’ Loki says.  
‘Just checking. She would definitely be the type to ask you if she feels like it.’ He grins at me. ‘But how did you- pop the question, so to say.’ He asks Loki this time.  
‘It wasn’t a grand gesture,’ Loki admits. ‘Although I did want to do it that way.’ He smiles slightly. ‘We were just- talking…’ He glances over at me. He realized he couldn’t say kissing and cuddling would acquire more details. Smart. He looks back at Grandmaster, knowing he would want the attention. ‘And I realized how much I’ve grown to love her over such small period of time. I couldn’t even see myself spend my life without her.’ He looks over at me. ‘So I asked her.’ I feel such relieve.  
‘That’s so cute,’ Hosha says. She would’ve preferred it if he had made a grand gesture. Grandmaster probably too. Hilde, she loved the way it went.

‘You should get married on the celebration!’  
I turn to Grandmaster. ‘What?’ He wants me to get married on the day he celebrates his reign.  
‘I would be even more special if you did. It would be the biggest wedding Sakaar has ever seen.’ He already seems to be imagining it.  
‘Could you already imagine? Him in this beautiful, dark green suite, her in white. Everyone would know how great their love for each other is.’ Hosha joins him. It seems like we haven’t got a choice. ‘We should celebrate their love the night before. With drinks and music and speeches.’ She lets go of me and grabs Grandmaster. ‘We would invite all close friends and have a dinner.’  
‘That does sound great. Do you think it’ll be manageable on such short notice?’ He looks at me. I glance over at Loki. We don’t have much of a choice. He shrugs, showing me we can’t help what will happen anyway.  
‘It should be- Manageable,’ I say.  
‘You will have help with the wedding, of course.’ Grandmaster looks at Hosha.  
‘Of course! I would love to help. And we could ask your personal assistant to help too.’ She smiles. Organizing isn’t really her piece of cake, but she does have good taste.  
‘I will help as much as I can,’ Loki says. He reaches out to me and I step closer, so that he may put his arm around my waist. Just like me, he seems relieved to have a positive reaction.  
‘Let’s get drinks.’ Grandmaster barely said it and someone steps up with glasses of champagne. ‘Perfect timing Adrigo.’


	45. Safe the day

‘Okaaay,’ Hosha comes walking towards he table with a huge ring binder. My head is hurting and I still feel dizzy from last night. Grandmaster wanted us to celebrate big, so not only did he get me drunk, he also made me stay at the party till four this morning. It’s ten now, so I still feel a bit tipsy, but I’ve got a lot to do in preparations, so I didn’t have a choice in getting up. Hosha lets the map drop on the table. I cringe a moment due to the loud noise. She doesn’t seem to notice.  
‘How can you be this lively?’ She must’ve had just about as much to drink as I did, maybe even more.  
‘Years of experience.’ She smiles and opens the map. ‘So, I know we don’t have much time to plan, so I figured I’d go ahead and do some of the work.’  
I look at the map. ‘When did you do all that?’ She couldn’t have had more than a couple of hours to make this. Did she plan this earlier? Did she know she would one day help me plan this all?  
‘You don’t remember us talking last night? We had conversations about what kind of wedding you wanted. I noted it down when I got back to my room I felt the need to look some things up. So, I stayed up for a few hours to do this and when I woke up I had some coffee and continued working on it. It isn’t perfect, but that’s why we should talk it through.’ She turns it to me and points. ‘So I don’t have a dress yet, but I noted down some shops to go to.’ I can’t believe she did all this. She can’t organize and plan events –believe me, she tried- yet she does manage to do so with a wedding, within a couple of hours, intoxicated and probably sleepy. Maybe it is because it’s a wedding? It’s a thing a lot of women are excited about. Not me, not that much at least. I know it’s probably only details on where to get things and what it would look like. Color combinations, musicians, flowers and things like that. I would most likely need to gather everything, arrange a price and follow up on it, but this is a big help. ‘I know you’ve got a schedule, so we should see when you can fit this in, alright?’  
‘Alright,’ I mumble. I take a bite from my waldor, while I listen and look. It tastes funny, not as sweet and fruity as it normally does.  
‘So I’ve got a few ideas about the flowers. I know you’ve already decorated the lot outside, right?’ I nod again. She doesn’t seem to mind my silence. ‘So I figured we could switch things up with these beautiful white pendigo flowers, combined with these light pink ones.’ She points at a few pictures she clearly got from a book. I can’t help but wonder if someone out there will eventually pick up a book about plants, only to find out parts of it have been cut out by Hosha. ‘We will get this kind of bow with flowers, for the ceremony. That way you might feel a bit more comfortable in the arena. Besides that-‘  
‘Actually,’ I bite my lip. ‘I figured we could make the wedding more of a after party kind of thing? Or maybe a pre-party? We could gather in Grandmasters garden, a small and elite group.’  
‘But Grandmaster would love it if you’d made it an public event.’ She sits down beside me.  
‘I know, but it isn’t really though, is it. Weddings are supposed to be intimate, with people you care about and actually know.’  
‘I guess that’s right.’  
‘Couldn’t we just announce it at the fight, but celebrate it with close friends only?’ I look at her, almost begging her to go along. I don’t see myself getting married between piles of bodies and pools of blood.  
‘We could discuss it with Grandmaster.’ She takes my hand and smiles kindly. ‘Don’t worry, we’ll make it great nonetheless. Maybe with some fireworks? Grandmaster loves his fireworks.’ I chuckle. I guess I could go along with that. ‘And the pendigoes?’  
‘Of course we’ll still go with the pendigoes.’ She smiles. She seems so pleased that I like her ideas.  
‘We do need to make changes to what I put down, but it shouldn’t be too hard.’ She turns the page.

After having argued with Grandmaster about the location of my wedding –he was really disappointed and tried to reason with me- I take Hosha and Hilde to go shopping. We have five days to get everything ready, which is a short time to plan a wedding. Luckily, I know people who would be more than willing to help if they hear it’s for my wedding.  
‘So we’ll start with the food?’ Hilde says. She knows my schedule and fitted everything in.  
‘Yes,’ I confirm. ‘We’ll see if they’ve planned everything for the festival and ask if they can make some easy-to-go bites.’  
‘Why not a buffet?’ Hosha asks.  
‘Because we’d be having a buffet for our guests at both events and that would be too much.’ She nods at my answer. ‘So we’d be asking them to make the eight different snacks you noted down and some drinks. It might be doable for them in such short period of time.’ I’m mostly just hoping they will manage. I could find someone else to do it, but their food is the best in quality and price.  
‘How many guests will we have?’ Hilde asks.  
‘I think about 25? I’ll do a quick recount once we’re there though.’ I’m sure that Hosha knows a lot more people we “have to” invite.  
‘And after we’ve finished with the food we’ll go to the first dress shop?’ Hosha says. She knows it’s on our way to the next location.  
‘Yes, but we don’t have more than 45 minutes to try things on, because we’ve got an appointment at Gimbo’s to look at some new weapons for the fight,’ Hilde says.  
‘How exiting.’ Hosha smiles. ‘Though it is a pity we don’t have longer. Can’t Gimdo wait?’  
I shake my head. ‘He’s a busy man. He sells his weapons to a lot of people, but with this appointment we can get a look at them first. That way we can get the best before someone else does.’ I open the door to Shanasi’s restaurant. She’s our caterer for a lot of events. In some ways she reminds me of Jolsa. I wish Jolsa could be here for my wedding. Getting her would be impossible, because father would find out I was living a happy live and am getting married to the man I love. Besides, barely anyone leaves without my father agreeing to it. Or they’re not important.  
‘What’s wrong?’ Hilde asks softly. Hosha has already made her way up to the counter to try some of the bites Shanasi has displayed.  
‘Nothing. It’s nothing, don’t worry.’ I give her a slight smile, lift my head and walk towards the counter.


	46. Getting close

‘Wake up sleepyhead.’ His fingers softly strike hair behind my ear. His lips kiss mine ever so sweetly. I’ve been awake for a few minutes, but I love it when he tries to wake me. I’m pretty sure he knows I’m pretending to sleep, but he simply doesn’t care. His lips kiss my neck and I make a soft noise. ‘Good morning darling,’ he whispers and places another kiss, just beneath my ear. ‘It’s time to get out. The wedding is in two days and from what I’ve heard...’ He places a kiss on my cheek. ‘…you haven’t even got a dress yet.’   
‘I can’t find one,’ I mumble. ‘I guess I won’t be wearing a traditional wedding dress.’   
‘I guess I won’t wear my suit then either.’ He warps his arms around my waist.   
‘Hmwh, but you look good in your suit,’ I protest.   
‘And I’m sure you’ll be able to find the perfect dress today.’ He gives me a few kisses, before laying his forehead against mine. ‘Though I don’t care how you look, as long as you’re there.’   
I smile. ‘So if I turn up in a jogging suit?’   
‘I would still marry you.’   
‘That’s my man.’ I open my eyes to look at him. ‘Well, almost.’ He smiles widely. I take a deep breath and stretch the sleep out of my muscles. ‘I guess I should be getting out then.’   
‘I guess so.’ He pushes his face against my chest. ‘Though you could stay for a moment?’ I know he’s bored. He doesn’t have much to do around here. He likes to be entertained, which is why I’m sure he is looking forward to the fight at least as much as Grandmaster does.   
‘I guess a minute more.’ I wrap my arms around him, just as he has wrapped his around me. ‘Don’t you want to invite someone? You’ve got two more days to do so.’ I’m silently hoping he will invite his brother. Though I’m pretty sure he knows that too.   
‘No, I don’t.’ He sighs. ‘I don’t know where my brother is and my sister is a maniac I just met, who I don’t have to meet again. You know she stole my phrase?’   
I chuckle. ‘Your  _phrase_?’    
‘Yes.’ He seems to be in deep thought.   
‘But wouldn’t you want someone to be there? I’m presuming we won’t do this ever again.’ I tilt my head lightly. If I would have a chance I would invite Jolsa. Maybe even some of my brothers and sisters –on their good day. But he seems to doubt his own thoughts. If only I could help him with it. I tried, but it doesn’t seem to work as well as I had hoped.   
‘We’ll make it something wonderful.’ He suddenly seems to come to the realization he has been staring blankly at me for minutes. ‘We’ll get married at sunset, have a small party, then change, go to the arena to watch the fight and eventually we’ll turn back to our festivities.’ He smiles. ‘It’ll be grand.’   
I softly caress his cheekbone. ‘I know it will be.’ I give him a kiss and take my distance. ‘I’m gonna go take a shower.’ He needs some time to think.   
‘Okay,’ he says softly, all the while letting me go. I get up and make my way to the bathroom. He seems even more confused than before when we talk about his family. Something is obviously bothering him.

‘What will you do today?’ When I get back to the room, Loki is all dressed up in the blue and yellow clothes Grandmaster gave him. He spoils Loki, just as he spoils me.   
‘I’m not sure. Maybe I’ll go and sit in the garden, practice some magic. I haven’t done that in a while.’ He holds still for a moment. ‘Maybe you can join me later? I’ll teach you some tricks.’ He starts moving again. He has been teaching me now and then. Mostly useful things, as he says. Ways to protect myself and others from harm.   
‘I’ll come and have lunch with you this afternoon. I’ll make sure Hilde keeps you company. She’s been begging me for more time with you, because she wants to get to know you.’ I put down the towel and take out underwear from my closet.   
‘Hmm-mm.’   
‘So you’ll keep her company?’   
‘Hmm-mm.’   
‘Great, that’s settled then.’ I take out a dress. ‘You can’t sleep here tonight.’   
‘Hmm?’ His lack of response says more than actual words ever could. He’s enjoying the view and keeps his response as minimalistic as possible, while still making sure I know he’s listening. Kind of, at least.   
‘The girls want to organize a girls night. I have no idea what it means, but something tells me it isn’t meant for men.’ I turn around and show him the dress. He smiles and nods. ‘So Grandmaster gave us the penthouse for tonight, to enjoy ourselves and sleep in one room together. It’s supposed to make us closer or something.’ I put on the dress and put my hair up in a ponytail. ‘I’m betting Grandmaster has plans for you too. Though I’m sure I don’t want to know what those are.’   
‘Why would he have plans for me?’   
‘To celebrate? I don’t know. I figured he would take you out.’   
‘Should I prepare?’   
‘I wouldn’t know how to.’ I give him a kiss. ‘I’ll see you at breakfast.’ We still leave separately. Sometimes he goes first, sometimes I do. But we always make sure no one sees him leave.   
‘See you at breakfast.’

‘So I checked in with Franky and he said he has the most perfect dress for you. It just came in yesterday evening. He made a few adjustments and he’s positive it’s what you’re looking for.’ Hosha and I have been looking for a dress for the last few days. We’ve managed to get everything done. Everything is literally finished. The decorations for Grandmasters festival will be put up tomorrow by hundreds of men, so that the flowers will stay good till the day of the celebration and the event merchandise will be sold on the day itself, so that the people will be even more excited.   
‘He said the last five dresses were perfect for me too.’ I don’t really care much about what I’ll wear, but Hosha does and so does Grandmaster. They both said they won’t let me buy a dress without me being sure it was “the dress”. I pretended a few times, but somehow Hosha never really seemed convinced. This whole wedding thing has her senses sharped and I’m not sure if I like it.   
‘I know he did, but he sounded really convinced this time. We were heading that way anyhow, so what’s the harm in stopping by?’ I have to admit, she’s been helpful on many parts. There were things I didn’t even know about before she told me about them. We’re doing a traditional Midgardian wedding, with a slight Sakaar and Asgardian twist. They decided on this mostly because Loki told them he was traveling from Midgard to Asgard. When Hosha told me about the plans she got me convinced. Loki didn’t really care about the way we would marry, as long as we did. If it were up to me we’d be keeping it all a lot smaller.   
I take a sip of my wine and look at Loki while he walks in. He smiles. ‘Good morning darling.’   
‘Good morning.’ I can’t help but blush. It still feels strange having his affection out in the open. Hosha only seems to enjoy it.   
‘Good morning Loki, have you slept well? Are you excited?’ she starts.   
‘I have and I am. It’ll not be long before I can call this beautiful woman my wife, what is not to be excited about?’ Loki winks at me and sits down opposite me.   
‘I’m sorry I’ll have to steal her once again. But I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time tomorrow.’ I take a bite from my meal and listen to them talk. These last few days have exhausted me and I’ve been a lot more quiet. Not that it’s noticed much.   
‘I’m hoping you will find her a dress today.’   
‘We’re hoping that too. But I’m sure we’ll manage. Grandmaster has decided to tag along today, so he’ll-‘   
‘Wait what?’ It took me a moment to take it in, but Grandmaster will join us today? ‘I thought he didn’t want to see the dress?’ He likes to pretend he and Loki both can’t see my dress before the wedding. Which, apparently, is one of those Midgardian things.   
‘Yes, he did say that, but he’s afraid people aren’t giving you the best they have to offer, so he figured he’d let them see his face, so that you’d get the best of the best.’ Pleasing Grandmaster would be even harder than pleasing Hosha. He’s very precise when it comes to clothes.


	47. Couple in the making

‘Loki, we’ve found _the_ dress.’ Hosha is incredibly happy. ‘She looks stunning in it. You’ll love it.’  
Loki smiles and looks at me. I can’t help but find this situation funny. ‘That’s great news Hosha,’ Loki says calmly. He doesn’t care much for our clothes either. Although he does want me to look beautiful, it’s more because it’s a special day, not because we have to. A special day deserves special clothes, we agreed on that. He knows how to dress well, special occasion or not. He would’ve looked amazing nonetheless and he would’ve found me just as beautiful in one of my regular dresses as he will in a wedding dress. I walk towards him and sit down beside Hilde, who is drinking tea with Loki.  
‘Did you enjoy yourselves?’ I ask them, stirring the subject away from my dress. It turned out Franky really did find the perfect dress for me. It fit me like a glove. It was white, with almost a golden glow about it. The top layer was made of lace and the wide straps flowed over into this low, draped back, making it look unique. From my hips on down the bottom was loose, which made it easy to move around. It had a small sled at the back, but that was all I need. It does show my back, which made me doubt about it, but before I saw my scars, I was sold and so was Hosha. Grandmaster saw how insecure I was about my scars. I know he hates the scars too, but after making one bad remark about them when I had just arrived, he had been very supportive and kind. He normally always says what he thinks, which is probably why he made the remark in the first place, but for me, he keeps back his remarks and even supports me. He wasn’t sure about the dress, I know that. He thought it wasn’t special enough, but when he saw that _I_ loved it, he agreed that I did look beautiful. So we bought the dress, made some more preparations, had some lunch together and then headed back home.  
‘We did,’ Hilde says.  
‘We had some nice talks. She knew you before we met, so I asked her some questions.’ Loki smiles. The two of them probably had a lot to share.  
‘Oh,’ I say. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing.  
‘I almost forgot that,’ Hosha says. ‘How did the two of you meet?’ She looks from Hilde to me.  
‘I told you about that,’ I say. ‘About planet 616, remember?’  
‘Vaguely.’ She frowns.  
‘We’ll talk about it later.’ We won’t, but I need her to stop asking questions. She barely knows anything about it and most of it she has already forgotten. I look at Loki and take a deep breath. I can’t believe we’re getting married in two days. Actually, more like 39 hours.  
‘Do you look forward to tonight?’ Hilde asks. She has been invited too, of course. It’s my party, so I can invite whoever I want. It’ll be a group of seventeen woman, including me, Hosha and Hilde. We’ll drink, play games, dance to music, sit in the hot tub. That’s how Hosha organized it.  
‘I do,’ I tell her. It’s true, although I hope they’ll keep it simple. I asked Hilde to keep an eye on it, seeing how I didn’t have to plan this, Hilde must’ve been chosen to do so. Maybe Hosha had a hand in it. Hopefully not.  
‘I’ll pick you up at six, we won’t be eating with the others, we got our own buffet upstairs.’ That sounds nice.

‘I wish we could spend the night together,’ Loki mumbles against my lips. We’ve got about half an hour before Hilde comes. We went up to the library and back to my room afterwards. I’m sitting on his lap, facing him, giving him kisses now and then. I know he wants more, but we’ve discussed it multiple times and we can’t do more. He truly believes I won’t be able to hide it away and he doesn’t want me to get into trouble.  
‘It’s just for one night,’ I whisper. Tomorrow we’ll celebrate it all together, as some kind of pre-party and then the morning after, we’ll get married. Grandmaster’s special day will become our special day. I wrap my fingers in his hair and give him another kiss. ‘We will make it one night without seeing each other. And who knows, you might actually enjoy yourself tonight.’  
‘Hmm.’ He doesn’t sound convinced.  
‘Grandmaster knows how to throw a party.’  
‘No, you know how to throw a party. You organize it,’ he mumbles.  
‘Who says I didn’t organize this?’ He backs down a little and looks at me with squinty eyes. I start laughing. ‘I didn’t, but I might as well have. He constantly came asking for things.’ He chuckles and shakes his head.  
‘So, what’s in store for me?’ he asks.  
‘I can’t tell you. But you’ll be using one if his party ships, so expect there to be ladies.’ I give him a kiss on the top of his nose. ‘Topaz will probably be flying.’  
‘Topaz likes you, doesn’t she?’  
I shrug. ‘I guess.’  
‘No, I mean. I think she might _like_ you.’ He raises his eyebrows.  
‘No.’ I laugh. ‘She’s a lesbian, but she doesn’t like me like that.’ I found out recently she is a lesbian, but before I thought she might be in love with Grandmaster. I was clearly wrong.  
‘How do you know?’  
‘I just do.’  
He gives me another kiss. ‘If you say so.’ He wraps his arms around my waist. I love it when he holds me. It feels so warm and familiar. It feels like home. Not the home I used to know, but the home I got to know while being with him.  
‘I hope we’ll have enough time together tomorrow,’ I whisper. During the day I’ll need to make everything ready. Hosha will help, but I’ll still have to be there.  
‘If not, I’ll come to the garden and help you. Then at least we’ll be together.’ He gives me another kiss and then there’s a soft knock on the door. I glance over to the clock. It’ll be Hilde, no doubt about it.  
‘Come in,’ I say. I give Loki another quick kiss.


	48. The morning after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Took me ages, for which I am sorry, but the job and study are a bit stressful.

I take a deep breath before opening my eyes. My head hurts. Not because I drunk, which I did, but I took my limits. I didn’t want to have a hangover today. No, my headache is caused by two things. One, the music had been so loud during the party that I could barely hear myself think, let alone hear the people screaming in my ear. It was fun though, we danced and sang along. Second reason for my headache was the terrible position I woke up in and probably had slept in. My head was hanging from the edge of the bed and somebody is laying on my legs. I moan as I attempt to get up. I don’t manage, as my muscles in my belly don’t feel like working along. I let myself hang for a moment more. The world looks strange with the world upside down. There are bottles of alcohol on the floor, glitters from some of the girls dresses and a few pillows. I sigh. It had been a fun night. It started relaxing with the bubble bath, manicure and pedicure and lots of food. Eventually the band came and we had some life music. We danced, sung and laughed.  
I do another attempt to get up. This time I try rolling on my side –for as far as this works with the pressure that is on my legs. I manage to sit up, but can’t really focus as the world spins around.  
‘Good morning sunshine,’ someone giggles.  
‘Good morning,’ I mumble. I close my eyes, while pulling my legs from underneath whomever it is that lays on top of them.  
‘How are you feeling? You look a bit reddish.’ It’s Hosha, no doubt about that.  
I moan in response, as I don’t feel like answering that question. I slowly open my eyes again, to see if the world stopped tolling around.  
‘That good ay.’ When I open my eyes, she’s right in front of me. ‘I got us breakfast. It’ll do you good.’ She grabs my hand and pulls me off of bed. When I glance over at it, I see three people laying there. Hilde is one of them. They’re all asleep. I can’t blame them, if it wasn’t for the pain in my neck and my numb leg, I probably would’ve still been asleep.

I take the plate from Hosha. ‘You know I heard a rumor a few days back,’ she tells me, as she hands me a cup of tea as well. I take a sip. Whatever it is, it’ll probably be some gossip about a poor girl. ‘Did Grandmaster really buy you?’ I almost choke on my tea. People don’t really talk about this that often anymore, it basically god hidden away. ‘Not that it matters,’ she says. ‘It’s just, it surprises me.’ She sits down and pats on the spot beside her. I sit down and swallow before speaking.  
‘Yes, I was bought. I was sold to him-‘  
‘By who?’ She bows forward and looks at me intensely.  
‘Why does that matter?’  
‘Because of the rumor I heard. A friend of my has a friend, who is looking for someone who was sold here from Earth 616. So it’s either you, or her.’ She looks at Hilde. ‘I didn’t even know you were sold to Grandmaster, but then I mentioned I was looking for someone sold here to Topaz and she asked if I was talking about you.’ She takes a cherry from her plate and puts it in her mouth. Her whole shows how relaxed she feels when speaking to me about it. She has her legs crossed and casually leans against her knee with her elbow. She is speaking before I know it, so either she swallowed the cherry whole or she eats faster than I thought. ‘It wasn’t like she mentioned it quickly, but I suspected that it wasn’t Hilde they were talking about. Seeing how the person I’m looking for was high placed. She was sold by Thanos, named a daughter of his.’ She softly pinches a cherry as she examines it. ‘I asked Topaz about people being sold here from Earth 616, someone expensive, someone well placed. She was suspicious, but I got it out of her. Eventually.’ She smiles at me. ‘And then it made sense. Hilde looks up to you. She treats you like you’re royalty. Now this could just be because you’re more important, but you two knew each other.’ She takes a small bite from the cherry. ‘So I figured, why not just ask you? Nothing abnormal, right?’  
‘Right,’ I mumble. Nothing’s right about this. Clearly, something is incredibly wrong. ‘So, who is looking for me?’  
‘Hmm-‘ she says, as she has her mouth full. As soon as she swallowed, she starts to talk. ‘Can’t tell you. Heard it via-via. So not completely sure.’ She picks up another cherry. ‘But I did hear they would be here soon, either to look for you, or to get answers from Grandmaster.’ She almost puts the cherry in her mouth, but then stops herself. ‘Grandmaster doesn’t know you’re one of Thanos’ daughters, does he?’ I shake my head, holding my breath. ‘Don’t worry. I won’t tell. But I do think it might be good for you to keep your head low for a while, if you know what I mean.’ She looks at me, just before putting the cherry in her mouth. ‘Hmmm, such delicious treats, she switches the subject in a second. I let out my breath. She is warning me. This wasn’t meant as a threat, nor as gathering more gossip, she might actually be worried about me. She hands me one of the cherries. ‘Here, have one too.’ I give her a little smile and put the cherry in my mouth. Loki and I might need to go on a honeymoon and simply not come back; depending on who it is looking for me.


End file.
